Saturday, December 24, 2005
I, as expected have eyes wide awake with no intentions of sleep. Could be the chocolate but most likely the anticipation. I am terrible, last year without a child, without family I was still up at 6am to raid the tree.
Tomorrow will be no different.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
CH is currently in the throws of a serious Mullet growing competion and felt a hair straightener will give him the edge he needs to secure first place. (huge dramatic sigh on my behalf) Oh there is nothing like running your hands through curling nape locks on a balding bastard.
Oh I am a lucky lucky lady.
Every Anniversary we dine at a fabulous fine dining resturant. This year we went to Tiffany's.
Quite good there was some stars but essentially could have been better. Years in the industry teamed with a love of food has made me a rather harsh critic. We eat so very well at home it is hard to order something that is not what we would consider 'run of the mill'
Three individual dishes,(tasting platter)
Rare Ostrich served on a bed of richly spiced Butternut pumpkin and roated beetroot.
Hot smoked Akaroa salmon, celeriac remoulade, pink peppercorn dressing
Canterbury Pheasant terrine, onion jam, crusty bread, herb marscapone
The entree was fabulous, every morsel glorious, flavours working brilliantly together whilist complimenting the meats flavour not masking. The terrine was OUTSTANDING, next time I would order large portions yes!
Roast Canterbury Duck breast, Puy lentils, shredded confit of duck leg, sherry vinegar sauce
Saddle of rabbit stuffed with prunes and wrapped in prosciutto, white bean and tomato stew
Beef fillet, boulangere potatoes, garlic green beans, rosemary butter
Sadly the beef was lacking flavour and held up only by the potatoes. The rabbit was very obviously prepared quite sometime earlier and dry beyond recognition.
Vanilla bean brulee, apricot and nutmeg biscotti, passionfruit and lemon icecream
My absolute favourite but once again lacking much loved creamy texture. I like to see my brulee riddled with tell tale black spots of a real vanilla bean, there was not many perhaps a indication of why the flavour lacked depth.
The atmosphere was insipid, our waitress was lovely, the Maitre'd was verging on rude and could do with a refresher course on both charisma and etiquette.
The conversation and company was amazing, although verging on pornographic at times hence our glasses were never left wanting. Our unending gratitude to our amazing babysitter. We love our daughter but relished the opportunity to just be alone.
It goes without saying, I looked fabulous.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
The reason I am blogging tonight, I have just stayed up to finish my last Christmas wrappings and cards and had the misfortune to catch the late news. Murder, children kidnapped, riots, traumatic events. It has put me in a unsuitable frame of mind for slumber.
When I was first pregnant I could not bear to watch the news as I would have floods of tears running down my face for almost the entirety of the bulletins. Blooming up and down emotions. I was hoping with the birth those uncontollable emotions would wane.
No such luck, although my eyes no longer leak(much), I still feel utter dispair with such amazing empathy to those I am hearing about, I am tired. I am anxious. I am fearful. I am worried.
Being very much a beginner parent, I have much to learn. I only hope with time I will get better and more relaxed about lifes eventualities when it comes to our daughter or at least get better at hiding my anxiety. I have never been fretful. This is not a quality I wish to nurture.
I wish I could take comfort in my God. Relax and put my life in his hands. It would be so blissful. Oh well for now I will just breathe. I hope CH or Ella wakes soon as I need a hug. I may have to 'accidently' poke one of them.
I am also finding my programme Six feet under a bit heavy going at the moment. I cannot work out if it is just my silly emotions ruining my love of dark comedies or is Six Feet Under biting a bit?
Monday, December 12, 2005
I am not one for Mills & Boon mushy romance books BUT I had the most wonderful time reading this book. Not wanting to put it down at all, for heavens sake I even read this over watching my beloved Television!!! Now that is saying something.
If you have not read this, then it is a must read, I cannot believe it took me so long to pick up the book. It was recommended years ago by a dear friend and how right she was. The gift of escapism is magical.
Go on treat yourself.
Has he even seen Fat Pizza? Have you?
Anyway the poor lebanese seem to be getting much of the blame. I am not qualified to respond to the why's and what's as I have never met anyone from Lebanese decent. How sad is that. However I love Lebanese cheese and who does not love Colporal Klinger? Is he still alive? Perhaps this one star of old could bring the elongated thumb texting youth who are inciting more violence together in TV harmony.
I suppose it is quite modern and fitting, rather that pistols at dawn, it is texting if funds allow. However I would have thought the more modern way of things would have been to send pictures and video as text is so last year.
Well last night it appeared to be Aussie bashing night. Lets be honest about it, who out there has not wanted to bash an Aussie at some point. When we were travelling the Aussie twang loudly booming AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI for what felt like months at a time!
Have we set the bar too high for our doctors? Doctors are supposed to be some of our most academically gifted, learning all sorts of clever bugger trivia. Could that be the problem, too busy filling their heads with information they may use one day that there is no room left for common sense?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
But I like it, surely that is reason enough to make purchase.
I have a problem at present or its about presents, all this gift buying has made the spending of money very appealing and throughly enjoyable. It is a festid Mozzie bite that needs to be itched. I will possibly be bullocked by CH. In fact almost certian.
On reflection above purchase was neither clever or the best use of our meagre funds. It did not end there I also bought ribbon, a sparkly brooch and a wooden toothbrush holder and before you enquire, YES all necesities.
Tonight however I underestimated the pulling power of the Black caps. Here I sit on the couch looking up every now and then and agreeing with whatever crap CH says. Generally if I want to sound like I am really multi tasking I mention the word 'Wicket'. Since in the lordly game of cricket 'Wicket' seems to be used to desribe many different things.
In the creation of the game I can just imagine a bunch of red nose onion eaters discussing the finer points and through warm ale goggles decided there where lots of bits and bobs they had neglected to name, Emmm 'Wicket' now that sounds like Cricket, ah much easier to remember, lets call them all 'Wicket'
So they all hurrahed, dropped their trousers and buggered a sheep.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Then complete and utter stomach lurching shock that you of course did not win.
I felt sure we would be off to U2, marvelling over The Edge and his apparent eight arms to play lead and watching Adam's cool calm bass that seems to have magical powers over womenkind, while scoffing at Bono arrogance. U2 have been my utlimate musical obsession since I was young enough to twink their logo on my pencil case, for heavens sake I walked up and down the isle to U2. Infact they were what brought my husband and I together.
I never in a million years thought I would not be going. I still cannot believe it. There must be a way.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Note, Coffee cup tree in background, not my normal thing but as I had no where for coffee cups I went to my local Sally shop, paid $2 and painted it shiny black enamel and hey presto, cup holder.
Just like my mothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shudder
Yes my cunning plan of getting the Decorations down from the crawl space worked and the are currently on the deck, just in case of any of those crawly buggers are lying in wait.
Righto tallyho, Christmas decorations away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However being the excitable person I am and do you know what day tomorrow is? Christmas tree day!!!!!! Currently CH is out again at a so called 'Managers meeting' code for drink lots and come home stinking and slobbering and eventually snoring his way to a happy sleep on the couch. This poses a problem as my Christmas decorations are currently in our roof space guarded with hundreds of spiders as big as my head. I will not be getting them.
I have written a note and stuck it on the toilet wall wishing CH a most enjoyable good night piss and of course enquiring of his night out and casually mentioning how excited I was to be putting the tree up and would he be kind enough to get the decorations down for moi. I of course may have to use my womanly charm to seal the deal. In this case my womanly charm will be polietly saying could he remove his hand from my breast rather than saying 'feck off your stinky c#nt! no chance tonight'
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
The Seven Deadly SinsLust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride. Which (if any) have you broken and give examples.
Lust: Between you and I, I was forced to congratulate CH on a job well done last evening, lets just say he went above and beyond. No, I am not showing off, I am a little surprised thats all. But if we keep this on a unrequented level, Oh Patrick Dempsey you set my girls bits all a quiver!
Gluttony: My biggest and most loved sin, yesterday a family block of Cadbury dream and I loved every moment of it.
Greed: Apart from the usual must have accesories like botox , zambesi and liposuction, I am extremely lucky to have got what I most wanted from life when I did not even realise what it was.
Sloth: Nope nothing to see here, like carpet, or surfaces even.
Wrath: I am not proud of it but in a former teenage life I chopped off a girls ponytail for sleeping with my boyfriend. How icky and unkind.
Envy: Yes I have envy and I hate the feeling of it, it makes me want to shower(with patrick) I envy women with waists and and pity women who dont have cellulite.
Pride: That I have in stacks, I think am am truly someone who could die from embarressment for asking for help.
I will put tags in when I work out how to put links ella is currently opening a can of whup ass on her mother. quite time over
I know it sounds a bit of a cop out BUT the old buy two and get one free sale at Whitcoulls is great, I managed to get three pressies sorted, surprisingly quick. The variety was even not so bad.
I brought this fab wee book of old advertisements given a new twist for my mother in law, nice and light with a couple of good giggles.
Four presents bought already, under buget as well! One Christmas wreath made and ready to hang.. I am not overly happy with my wreath but I was just working with what I had. I would have been more happy if I had been able to get plain white fairy lights but coloured will have to do and and $3.50 I can hardly complain.
Hmmn it does not look that flash in the photo as you can hardly see the woven flax and sparkles and gold, in reality it looks much better.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Hurrah, I looooooooooooove christmas, I am currently in full scale create mode, the house is covered with all things that glitter and sparkle(includng the carpet, a wee accident with a tube of glue) This is the same glue that made a cleaning rag smoke sitting on our lovely wooden table. I may be creative but also a little absentminded when it comes to keeping things paint and glue free. Luckily I now have someone else to blame, yesterday she knocked a can of raspberry over on our carpet. of course she did.....not me....oh no as on my diet why would I have a can of raspberry...oh she also must have whipped to the shop and bought it. Naughty bubba.
Here is a picture of Tahi really caught up in the merriment of Christmas past. You will see her shudder when I drag out the box of christmas decorations out of storage, as she know what is instore. The cat is smarter and will be long gone.
Righto before I make more mess I must go for a walk, so I can spend the afternoon doing fun stuff.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
As penance I baked two batches of biccies and will mow the lawns later. Actually this is the time I am supposed to being mowing the lawns. Getting a little side tracked then.
I heard a fantastic Interview with an author today on NR, a fellow by the name of Robert Fisk. I must check if that is the right name actually. Robert is a foreign correspondent and has been working out of the middle east for the last thirty years. This chap had interviewed OBL three times, the first of which when he was on team America. I am hoping it will be a good read. I may as well try and understand the middle east conflicts as spending too much thinking time on our own politics just makes my blood boil at present(I wont start) Oh well just another thing to add to the already huge Christmas list I have on a spread sheet so CH can peruse at his leisure.
I adore christmas and this will be the first year since I was a child that we do not have much money. This was our decision we knew it would be hard on one income. Don't get me wrong we still live well. I just never thought I would not be able to lavish gifts upon my loved ones and that will be the worst. My family have never had any money and myself being the more successful one out of the bunch always bought them nice things at christmas. My mother has never bought herself anything frivolous and still uses soap as shampoo and baby powder as deodorant. That is why I love the smell of baby powder. I am almost embarressed and feel like I should be apologising for not being able to get give many gifts this year. I know it is silly and it is not expected of me, I just love giving. I am very creative and clever with crafts, but even they take foldings to start with. I am yet to decide to give little things as the thought or pool the money on more important people for proper gifts.
Hmmn still managing to not mow the lawns. Right I am going to do them now, no do not try to stop me. Mana tangata has just started on NatR so I cannot understand it anyway, ideal time to battle with the lawn mower.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I have twelve weeks to loose 5kgs, mainly over Christmas. Super timing. Perhaps near on impossible.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
It is amazing what one little letter can do to a sentence. To be more accurate the title would read, 'I have a Thrush' Lets be honest, not as catchy.
Last night was a most wakeful night. Not only was our angel having sleep issues but our pets decided to have a party. Cat tearing up the hallway, running over the bed, beating up our turkish rug, rucking our lounge suite, finally pulling towels out of my neatly folded linen cupboard.
Dog, knocking over rubbish bin and chasing something around the yard. I was hoping it was the cat.
I have just come back from hanging the washing out, the dog was very happy to see me and even more excited when she saw I was going into the garden area. This area is my santuary, a dog free zone and today she thought she had a chance to make it in. Upon closing the gate on her, just missing her nose(I'll be quicker next time) I found what had been causing the excitment, it was a regular old Thrush. Absolutly frozen in fear, unblinking and dishevelied and to top it all off thepoor buggers cloaking device was obviously not working.
What to do, as I know my sluggish cat would have no qualms in playing with this poor creature and make it fly around with entrials hanging out. Trust me, I have come home to blood and guts at eye level. The dog is just gagging to not be lowest on the food chain in the family also would not show our guest hospitality.
After chasing the bird around the yard in my nightie, Ted the Thrush now resides in a DB export box with my last piece of bread. Washing basket on the top and locked in the garden shed with the cat trying to pick the lock. I am hoping the darkness will let ted sleep and have a wee nibble and get energy to fly away tonight. Slight prob, it is very hot. Ted may be cooked like a turkey, perhaps I will add some rosemary just in case, oh well no need to buy meat for tonights supper.
Thankfully Ella is much better again today. She cried solidly for a few hours at 3am, I am trying to delude myself it is because she missed us. She is being absolutely horrible to me. Crying solidly and wanting to be walked around all day while trying to gore my eyes out or rip my lips off when I give her a kiss. As soon as daddy walks in, she goes from demon spawn to laughing angel. We had a a good half hour yesterday avo and here she is.
Quite a good angle I thought, you can actually see her neck, more like cheeks and less like jowls.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
We had a wonderful visit from Jules and Milly Molly who came bearing gifts of the most fantastic party dress for Ella, all the way from England.
One cannot go to a wedding wearing the same dress as another. I know you should never look better than the bride but Ella is going to give her a run for her money. Mind you the bride is about the same size as Ella, the could interchange at half time. Meow.
All we need now is accesories and a new outfit for Me, with a new body to wear it on.
I have not mentioned my dieting in a long time, no need to start now. Enough said.
As I am feeling a little off today I chose to liven myself up with a little jewellery.
Also a good chance to flick through some photos.
Todays little number was bought not far from where I photgraphed this little fellow.
Zanzibar a little island off the coast of Africa
Monday, November 07, 2005
I was sure that there would be improvement overnight as it could not get any worse but CH on the other hand was sure she needed to be admitted right at that moment.
A fantastic start to the evening as you can imagine. On the one hand I had faith and felt she was getting better but did not want to have CH voice 'I told you so' over an issue so important.
Thankfully her temperature got down to 38. She is still sluggish, grumpy and off her food, but she is sleeping. We went to back to the doctors again today, still no test results. Basically the doctor said we may never know what was wrong, and as long as she shows improvement, that is all we can ask.
Buggery bullocks, yes I understand, but feck, you mean it could happen again! As suspected he did bring up the ole 'possible bad reaction to Men B' Lordy I thought long and hard over that one, making the decsion to get her immunised was a long process.
I gave her a treat yesterday, the joys of a leomonade popsicle. Well she needed to keep her fluids up. It was lovely watching her try and work out how to attack it. It has been a long time since I shared a leomonade popsicle. Infact being the gannet I am, I probebly have never shared a popsicle. It did not taste quite as good as I remember, when I used to flog mum's milk money and buy one for 15cents, I was shocked to have to pay 95cents.
I feel absolutely knackered today, I may even have a wee read on the bed this avo. I doubt it, I will get caught up in doing something, at the moment I am addicted to the food channel.
Righto must go as domestic chores await.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I have never felt so helpless.
I know it sounds silly but I guess I am a bit embarrased when I think there is something wrong with Ella as generally people in the medical profession have this knack of making you feel like you are wasting their time, you know the ole first time mum fussiness. It is possible it is my imagination, but I just hate to put anyone out.
Terrible night Friday, terrible day sat, sleepless night rocking Ella around the lounge was my big Saturday night. Finally 7pm Sunday morning we took her to the emergency doctor. Cue nasty old and bitter nurse who treated us like we were naughty children and Ella like she was a second hand rag doll. Thankfully there was a nice doctor on who confirmed that yes she was unwell but has no idea why. I then spent the rest of the day holding my bare bummed girl with a plastic piss vial in one hand to collect urine. They but a bag on her which she managed to poo all over and since we forgot her nappy bag, it was good times.
I have had hardly any sleep as she did nothing but sob all sunday night and yelled until she lost her bark and she would hardly let me sit at all, she was so hot I could almost cook Jason's brekkie on her forhead. The worst part was all she wanted to do was feed and she must have bit my nipples nearly fifty time during the night, she was just so angry. I think she was pissed off with the cricket, crappy Black Caps. Well at least it was something to watch during the wee hours.
Off to the doctors again this morning to get results but nasty nurse had fecked up the sample so back to the drawing board. Finally, I have got another sample(mostly all over me) and now I have finally got her down. She is just so sad. I love her nature, even through tear filled eyes, she still has smiles for ill old ladies sitting in the waiting room. Back to the doctors again at two, I might even change my clothes as they are covered in baby snot and tears, I hope she wakes up well.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Introducing my new main squeeze Killinchy Banoffee ice cream. Ohhhhhh yeahhhhhh
Another lovely day today, I made a fabulous ginger crunch with double the icing with very little crunch and shaved 85% pure cocoa italian chocolate on the top. Oh this stuff is not just ordinary chocolate to eat and enjoy it is for getting high on. God bless cocoa beans and underpaid labour in Mexico.
I had some patients today so I spent time with our destroyer of all stinky dog and have nearly taught her to roll over. Dumb dog, give me a bear with a nose ring any day.
It has been two days of head spinning hell with my red cheeked angel. I am suspecting teeth could soon be chewing upon my nipple. As romantic is that may sound to someone off the farm, the prospect is quite daunting. I am hoping to Breast feed until she is one all going well, provided my bits are still attached.
We went to swimming lessons today and it has been the only time in a few days she was relaxed and happy, poor kid she must be sore, I wish I knew it was teething or something else. She had her MenB jab on Monday, she reacted to the first one but was fine with the second. Oh how I wish for a manual.
At the moment I am looking into having a worm farm to eat all of our rubbish and dog poo, great idea I wonder if it will work. All I need is a bucket, a big hole, cup-o-worms and hey presto natuaral garbage disposal. It seems so easy....too easy. I must admit to having fears that the worms will spill out and takeover the world.
My mother called this morning, they will be visiting for sunday lunch this week. First time ever. Why do I feel so uneasy.
Sadly tonight was 'Bro town' night. I had forgotten it was the finale last week. Although I am heartened by the news of another series of 'Seven periods with Mr Gormsby' is being made. I love TV and in the past have watched much crap but currently there is hardly a thing on I will watch. It truly must be getting bad.
Say NO to reality TV.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Halloween has traditionally been one of my favourite times of year, and yesterday I ignored it. This time last year stinky horrible little kidlets pissed on any future chances of choc crackles and sucked the joy clear out of giving.
This is my gate, that white stuff actually is sticky ultra bonder, it takes days to dry . Oh I am not so heartless to have done this purely to stop grubby unthankful no outfit wearing horrors from coming to my door. It needed to be done........at some stage. Besides if I had choccie in the house it would be for me, I have not had choccie since Saturday. CH's packet of squiggle tops is feeling very nervous.
I am contemplating joining a gym again, am I just pulling myself yet again. I have had four year long gym memerships in my life. My annual record for going was nine times, in one year.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
If only I knew how to rotate photographs on my blog. Oh well, as our friends at Mainland say 'good things take time'
Anyway I am once again reflecting as I have decided as much as I love this digital age, I really miss the photo albums and shoe boxes full of negatives. I am so paranoid when it comes to my photos, I have them on my laptop, on disks, back up disks, disks to back up the back ups and still I fret over deleting these memories off a memory card 'Just in case'
My anxiety must end so I am slowly deleting photos from our OE two years ago to make way for photos of our budda bubba growing. I have decided every now and then I will throw a few favourites on my blog....................oh dear I am doing it again, trying to back up my back up, back up's!
However this photo was taken in Cambodia at Tuol Sleng a former Khmer Rouge S-21 prison located just outside of Phonm Penh. I have lots to say on my experiences in Cambodia but like to keep them all for me.
The one thing I will say is, in every cell there was a small bit of blackboard with rules and regulations to be adhered to.
Regulation 2 stated,
Do not try to hide the facts by making pretexts of this and that. You are stictly prohibited to contest me.
I doubt anyone would have contested long in that cell.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Wearing a JPG parfume, limited edition inspired my my favourite artist, Frida Kahlo, feeling faboulous as I have decided I may not have beautiful office attire any longer but what is the point of saving perfume for best when I can enjoy it every day!
Today is not just a good day it is a grand day! Sun is shining, I am wearing boob tube and a summer skirt. There is a pot of jam bubbling on the stove made from my own rhubarb, I have just finished dancing around to 'Oh so quiet' Bjork with Ella bouncing on my hip, and before you ask OF COURSE she liked it! I dread her having her dads taste in music.
Yesterday I lay in the sun for all of ten minutes and it was glorious, I have not felt that relaxed without a ciggarette. It occured to me why do I not do that more often, rather than rushing around doing loads of domestic chores. I guess it is the guilt of being at home. I know I am busy and dont slack around(often) but I always feel I have to explain myself for every moment of stolen fun. No one else is putting this pressure on me exept myself, perhaps I just need to learn to be kinder. Feck it, bullox to it all, it's my party and I will dance if I want to!
I just stirred my jam and on reflection a boob tube is not the correct jam making attire, esp around bubbling sugar, please send 1950's apron STAT.
Well tomorrow I hope I feel the same as today, for it is yet another holiday.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
It was a wonderful weekend but I think the bit that really got me was how much they loved our wee girl and how much she seemed to love them. Not having had anything like this before, it was amazing for me, Ella is my first blood relative that I know and it is plain to see some of her grandparents characteristics. It makes me feel closer to them. We got nothing but praise about the nature of our little girl, but of course that would happen as unless you spawned the devil. It now seems selfish on our behalf to live so far from family who can give her just as much love as we can. Also I must admit to wishing sometimes we did have family here so we could give Ella a break from us as I am sure that I bore her during the day.
Do not worry I have not totally gone soft in the head as although as much as I am embracing this new family stuff, I still am mindful of how much they have got on my tits in the past.
Now back to chick chat Tuesday, I went to the movies with a girlfriend to see 'In her shoes' Chick flick personified. As Ella put the horror in horrible I did not really get to see much of it, but from what I saw there would be no reason to see it again. Toni Collette playing Hollywood's fat ugly duckling in all of a size 12 perhaps a 14 with padding. Unbelievable.
Today I once more shoe horn myself into a bathing suit as it is swimming day, must remeber to take care of side burns. Last week Ella went swimming under the water for the first time. Natural my arse. She rose out of the water mouth open, gallons of pool falling from it, eyes as big as saucers, her face was beet in colour, tears, choking and snot flowing from her nose. What a pretty picture and today we do it all again.
Monday, October 24, 2005
OK no, it may have not been anything similar to the above, but yes I did spend much time on my blog and somehow fecked it all up prior to publishing. Lost the lot. Not best pleased at this moment in time as the house is a mess, CH is due home, my sugar level is low, my child is stirring and by now I should have been basking in my own glory.
I feel like I should just list the events of the weekend as honestly all witty recanting is off the menu. You may like to turn eyelids inside out for this one or at the very least read another blog as this one will be just plain boring.
As I mentioned earlier this weekend was to be spent with family, yes my friday night was destined to be one full of continuous repetitive stories, stale ciggarette smoke and rugby league. There is only so many nods and giggles in the right places you can give when your eyes and glazed and your will to live is on the wane. But to my rescue came a girlfirend firmly clutching tickets to the theatre. A play I had actually wanted to see. So it was a big Tarrah to family, baby and responsibilty. Oh such reckless behaviour, I even cast aside my spinakker of a maternity bra in favour of a normal one!
The play was called GOAT, I had been looking forward to seeing this for some time. It was unusual to say the least, I am not sure if it was the topics discussed or accents painfully coming and going that made me uncomfortable but I was strangely quiet afterwards. This harrowed feeling was felt by all but did not prompt discussion, but rather left to your own quite contemplation. Odd. The play delt with issues including beastiality, homosexuality,treachery infidelity, incest, pedophilia, with much smashing of pottery and ripping of canvas.
I think that was the problem, you can joke about all the above being just like a normal family but I think there is a element of truth and more people in that theatre could relate to the topics than they would like to admit. I am glad I went as some of it appealed to my deviant sense of humour but in all honesty I would not go back for a encore.
Oh how I love the whole Theatre experience, we were right in the front row, the set was very intimate and well thought out. Afterward the late night coffee, a slice of Banoffi pie and a non stop talking of cabbages and kings.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried.
She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words! Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights." "I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. "I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life." "I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back." "I've learned that when ever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision." "I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one." "I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back." "I've learned that I still have a lot to learn." "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Yesterday was great, spent the morning with a dear friend and her lovely little girl, Milly Molly Morgan who has the most hearty giggle. It is amazing you could not get two more different babies, this alone reeks of trouble. They are going to be dynamite together, picking up each others qualities and being truly inventive with their naughtyness.
I also discovered a new part of town that I have never been too. Parklands, what a great place. Fantastic new library with new books so I hired some great picture books and Brainy baby DVDs for Ella. Plus they had a vast selection of CD's to hire so I hired five. I have been tempted for quite sometime with the lure of new music. But of course no funds to fritter away. So here at least I can try on some new sounds and see how they fit, I am going through somewhat of a musical change, my tastes are evolving. I am leaning towards quite raw unproduced sounds, some even verging on folk and bluegrass (even admitting to that almost embaresses me) never before have I even lingered in this country section. Could be just a phase.
Even more exciting my potatoes have finally poked through the soil and my mesculan salad is ready to pick. The taste of summer. I have been working on a gift for my sister in law, a creative wee pack tailormade for her impending labour, of course not all done in the best taste, but bloody funny. Hopefully finish that today and perhaps even have a crack at putting together a powerpoint letter.
CH's parents are here for the weekend...................in fact a loooooong weekend..........................four days...................................enough said.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Oh how I wish for a cigarette, good coffee and a really big chocolate danish with a side of bacon.
As fate would have it, the golden sunlight that I was painfully eating my horses breakfast in was illuminating my unkept hair. Shock horror, hundred of spilt ends. It was unfortunate my craft scissors were also on the table. It was like a packet of peanuts, once you start you cannot stop.
It was not long before I had a big pile of hair on the table. Whoops
Oh well it looks like I may have to visit a hair salon, now what can I blame the hacked locks on. Prodigy baby learns how to cut hair while mother sleeps? Ummn Drunk mother gets all hair cut off in drinking stint? Hair caught under fallen building while saving a kitten? How about I just ignore it all. Working well.
Little one starts swimming classes tommorrow. What a week to shoe horn myself into a swim suit. I think I will save that little treat for later. In fact I may put the photos online to share the joy. Don't panic I am not heartless.
Hopefully the weather stays good as I have loads to do in the garden. Second lot of Basil, just died, corriander not far behind it. I am unsure if it is cold weather or just another thing to make my day. Broad beans, cauli, broc, cabbage, onions, carrots, lettuce, mesculin, cherry toms, chilli all going well. Corn AWOL, thyme the blasted dog nailed it, now proves she is a waste of time. Raspberry, strawberry, gooseberry,blueberry all flowering. YAHOO. Rubarb gagging to be made into a crumble. Yum Yum pigs bum. Right must dash as the little one will soon be awake and furiously filling nappies.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Week 1 & 2 - I am on fire, Super Mum, baker extrodinaire, gourmet chef, garden guru, diary jam packed with lots of things to do, completely relaxed, many craft projects underway(even though they wont get touched again for another four weeks!)
Week 3 - Laziness personafied, move or dont turn up to things in diary, eat much crappy food and have really inventive ideas about why I should get out of exercising.
Week 4 - My signifigant other, generally makes my skin crawl. He cannot have an idea, do a job or make a comment without me having to have input, direction and generally trying to ground down any self respect and cockiness built up over the last four weeks.
Week five - I am the most unattractive wilderbeast to have ever stomped on the planet. I have no clothes, no money, I am fat and the worst mummy in the world and possibly even smell. I am amazed CH is not shagging around with a check out chick called Beverly.
Currently I am on the cusp of week five. On reflection it was not a good time to go shopping with CH. Not just any shopping, clothes shopping......even worse......clothes shopping for me. fade in dramatic music..wilder beast in pink tutu enters stage left.
While I dragged CH from discount shop to even more discount shop, we stumbled upon a discount jewellery shop. Now if this had been week one two or even three, things would have been fine, but...... CH turns to me and says 'Oh I suppose it is time I bought you a ring for having Ella' Hmmnnnnnn, my head nearly turned a 360 and I had to restain myself to respond accordingly to the greeting the bleach blonde behind the counter gave me. It was not just the fact that all product was crappy, distasteful and cheap(normally my favourite). It was the realisiation that YES the prat was well aware of the tradition of giving a gift to the mother of your child in thanks and praise, but choosen to ignore. All thought, sentiment gone and truly sucked the joy clear out of giving.
I am under no delusion of our finacial status, so I am not expecting a huge big expense. But feck it I am expecting. In a dream environment the gift would be bought with money saved and sacraficed from his beer money, in a home made, handcrafted box filled with thoughtful items, a bound book of poems written just for me, an equisite item of Jewellery he had hunted through streets of antique shops and waited eight years to give me when the moment was just right, a box of my favourite chocolates from Brussels, a cherished childhood book of mine restored to former glory.......I am reminded of a Tui ad. YEAH RIGHT.
Thankfully, with poise and dignity I pretended to see a sale rack I was extremly interested in, dragging him away. I fear it is not the last I will see of that discounting dick jewellery warehouse. Even if the gift does come from there it will not matter as I will know that time and thought went into driving out of his way and out of his comfort zone and make things so much better. Besides parking at that place is almost as painful as birth.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Yes, we updated our wills. This turned out to be a rather long and tedious process. It is no longer a matter of bequesting all our wordly possesions to our daughter, we had to almost write down every eventuality. Now we have based our daughters upbringing on a bunch of what if's.
We had succesfully dodged having that all important converstation of what happens to Ella should we both die. Until now.
In that stark insiped Lawyers office we discussed and made descision we had not even talked about together. I of course had firm thoughts on whom I felt would bring up our child closest to the way we would.
The longer I think about this the more I realise how little your environment has to play in the deep inner core of whom you are. Sure the packaging changes and is fine tuned by those you meet on your journey but essentially the foundations are long established. I am more than happy with who I am on the inside and have been through much to get here. Ella will never go through what I faced during childhood, for that I am truly thankful.
But, oh yes there is always a but.........I am who I am now because of all I have been through and the desicions I have made. Take away these experiences and do we take away depth and soul from our children? A grand old lady once told me 'The more you prune a fruit tree, the sweeter fruit it bears' I have long hoped that she was right.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
However, I have dropped two Kgs and six more to go until I reach my goal. When I think about it I have come quite some way. Before I gave birth I made it to 99kgs and have now made it to 78kgs with a goal of 72kgs. This is 2kgs heavier than pre baby but I feel it is more realistic. You would think I would be feeling better about my appearence, but in all honesty the more weight I am losing the fatter I feel! What sort of buggery mind fuck is that! Excuse my pottie mouth but PLEASE heavens above!!! It is pissing me off. This week I would like to start the next phase, dieting...check, excersise...no. I did think that doing loads around the home would suffice, we actually truth be told, No. I thought I would have to go for walks and was using the old gardening and chores as an excuse to make me feel better. Aha caught myself in a little skullduggery self delusion there! Never mind with the event of daylight savings I have planted all of my vegie garden so I will soon have much to harvest and keep me busy. Righto angel awaits.
We teach them almost every thing, currently I have just taught Ella that a game of Peek-a-boo is funny and not from the lip dropping depths of horror.
I can see I will end up being one of those mothers rolling my eyes in disgust when my angel in pink is giggling over loud smelly farts at inappropriate moments. CH has much to do with this as our little darling already lets off loud rippers that flatulent old men would envy. I of course ignore all body functions while Jason is doubled over, crying with laughter and trying hard not to wet himself. That is fine............ should we ever have a boy he just may like Ballet. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it down the clubrooms CH!
Monday, September 26, 2005
It was fantastic, exspensive wine and not the cheap arse whine I am used to, wonderful food and a night of sweaty steaming men in little shorts. Grrrrrrrrr Sounds exciting and sadly was my compromise to CH, a night game of Rugby blaaaaaaaa. Not too worry, spent less time watching silly boys throw a ball around and more gossiping to the girls. Had a really great night, met some lovely new people WHO DO NOT HAVE BABIES! and actually managed to hold a conversation that did not include widdle wee cute stories UGHhhhhhhhhhhh or the adventures of baby body fliuds.
Did manage to talk about my boobs.......oh well...... try harder next time.
This is just a quickie to let you all know that this will be my last blog for a few days as I have family comin to stay.......hopefully giving me many more interesting things to write about. Till then, Cathie if you are reading, where is the info I asked for xxxx
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Speaking of tomorrow, I launch into phase two of my new health kick. The dreaded and most feared smear test. Contary to public opinion the birth of a child does not neccessary mean all prudish inclinations are null and void. In fact, I think it is now worse than ever. Girls bits are not the most attractive part of the female anatomy, couple that with a birth gone wrong(just call me train smash trousers) It would take a brave soul to work down there in fully lit conditions. If I was to see my girl bits in a line up down town, I would not recoginise them anymore. And tomorrow I am expected to drop my bloomers all without dinner and a date. Yes it is the right thing to do, no biggie.... then why are my so palms sweaty. Oh lets hope the duck beak is nice and warm.......small and held by a blind person.
All I can say is Blooming Hormones. Mind you I have never been what you would call assertive in confrontations. (of course excluding CH, that comes easy) Even when I do stand up for something it infects me with guilt and makes me feel like I have just drowned a kitten. Last week in Farmers I was waiting in line as good kiwis do, when this women pranced in front of me carrying her size eight undies straight to the counter. It was then I made a desicion and in my best grown up voice ever 'excuse me I do believe I was here first' It was also then I realised what I had turned in to. There I was red cheeked and sweating, both from utter embarrasment and overheating in my jacket(as my top underneath was vomit stained) carrying far too many grocery bags and lugging a rather wriggly child. The lady replied haughtily 'oh I did not see you' Well at least the upside of that is not only did I look like a Klingon my cloaking device was working wonderfully.
Anyway back to the story at hand. My CH took Friday off so I could treat myself to a spiffing new do. I had the appointment booked, lots of freshly squeezed boob milk in the fridge. I was off. Bright sunny day, handbag swinging, me and my funky clothes stopped off for a double caramel latte and boldly stepped into the salon. I left five minutes later, reduced to tears. I will not bore you with the details of a middle aged hairdresser with a death grip trying to hold on to her thirties, whilist telling me how horrible I was looking and perhaps I could come back another day as they were overbooked. All I could say when she asked could she rebook me was a firm NO thanks. For reasons unknown I was devastated. I still feel guilty for not saying 'Hey no problems, book me in for next week as I have nothing else to do' If only.
On the brighter side I have planted my first vegies in my new raised gardens, snow peas and scarlett runner beans. I was thinking of my friend Cathie and planted sweet peas in with them. Tomorrow is Monday, I am supposed to be starting to be healthy. Please send me the strenth to do this.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Sunday morning, I am still in my nana nightie and waiting for inspiration. CH is working his seventh day in a row and only five more to go until he gets a day off. With CH doing many hours it means I am doing everything around the home, I am very bored with that. Everywhere I look there is clutter and most of it I can blame on CH for dumping his crap, I of course have tidied it every day through gritted teeth. It is only a matter of time before countdown commences and I open a can of whup arse on his sorry back crack. Why can I just not let it go and kick the dog instead.
Oh yes I would like to kick the dog as it is her daily challenge to destroy something I care about. CH was talking to a dog control officer and chatting about our issues with the dog. The fellow said that dogs are thick and don't think. You point to a hole they have dug and they think you are angry they have not dug it deep enough. Apparently I am wrong about them being naughty they are just bored and have no idea. I think that is bull shit, yesterday prime example. Normally every morning Tahi will come and say good morning and sit on the deck. Yesterday I did not see her at all and at lunchtime when I went to go somewhere she was cowering in her kennel and would not look at me(sounds like guilt to me). Sure enough she had removed all the bark behind my raised gardens and dug a trench. Mother f*er.
Nevermind we are having trellis made that will soon ban her from My beloved garden area. Oh how I love spring I have just planted strawberries, baby salad, mesculan, basil and corriander. My Raspberries, grapes and gooseberry are just awakening from their winter slumber. How exciting. The spring flowers are nearly over so summer must be just around the corner, I have mixed feelings on that one, 8kgs to go before pre baby weight, but as I have not dieted and have eaten 2 kingsize snickers, 1 kingsize crunchie, 2 kingsize cake of choccie, 2 family pkts of crisps, one tray of ginger crunch, one pkt biscuits all in one week, I deserve more than the 8kgs. That is disgusting. Oh I am soooooooooooo into choccie at the moment. HELP
Well it is that time again Ella is painting her cot with spit raspberries and I still have nothing done. Man do I feel like choccie. Their is a crunchie bar in the cupboard who is feeling very nervous. If only I had will power.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Sunday was CH's first Father's day. I had many plans on how to make the day great. However, things did not exactly go to plan. In the end, I had no present to give CH, no food in the house for a special breakfast as I had to leave all my groceries at the supermarket(don't ask) no means to buy present as I have lost my wallet to top it all off I am having the worst time with chocolate and taking my gluttony and eating stamina to new levels. All was not lost, I just painted my six month old baby and used her like a rubber stamp to create a lovely Father's day card, crisis side stepped. I need not have worried, CH was so severly hung over and feeling sorry for himself for some dickie things he did the night before, any warmth I was sending his was greatly recieved. The day's highlight(apart from CH vomiting out his nose) was getting to see my oldest and dearest friend as she had a stop over at the airport. She looked really great seemed really happy and I loved seeing her.
Righto best go and make some noise as Ella has been sleeping for 14 hours solid and I am a little nervous. What a busy week I have, I hardly know where to begin, best I have a coffee and biscuit to think about it, infact I may have to have much coffee and cake with girlfriends to discuss a plan of attack.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Could this even have been avoided with just a few manners, a frank sorry? I have often wondered about the London bombers could a smilar courtesy have put a question to their plans. Everyone does it, I am extremely guilty of it myself. Be it on a subway, bus or just walking down the street, do you acknowledge people with a smile or nod or do you soft out and look out the window or at something very interesting on the floor. A smile can literally change someones whole life.
I am involved in a group called parents as first teachers and today we are going to explore a sensory development room at QEII. This is a three year commitment and since it is our first time out of the blocks we thought it would be ideal to have someone watch over how we develop our first child. It is quite basic and mainly common sense but to have someone with no bias yelling encouragement on the sideline is fantastic. However, I have hit a bit of a speed bump. Through this organisation I have been exsposed to many others, last week we had a speaker come to one of the classes and tell us of these amazing courses we can do with our babies and all for free. Swimming lessons, music and movement. I was rapt as the classes I was enrolling in was $10 a pop. As I read the other classes available the print at the bottom of the page said CLASSES RUN BY MAORI FOR MAORI. I love our te reo and Maori culture and want to involve Ella in Kohunga and it is also quite likely I speak more Maori than most Maori. Yet I cannot prove if I am Maori or not Maori. Do I pay or not? I have never felt so much class distinction in my life as I do now as a Parent.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Car less days now that is a goody, last used in the seventy's to combat the last oil crisis. I am all for it as it will make me get off my bottom which can mean nothing but good things. Although it will not be qite as effective this time around as most homes have two cars and will apply for different days. I would love it if all retail outlets were closed on a Sunday, no shopping basically enforced family time.
I had a 'Bad Mummy' moment yesterday, I was foolishly repairing the back of her floor bouncinette (with her in it) and of course she fell out. Diving a mere ten centimeters to the floor. Oh the look of complete and utter horror she threw my way and the banshee like screaming that followed. Don't worry she paid me back by deciding 'sleeping is cheating' oh I love those 2am wake up calls.
I have just started feeding her solid food for dinner, this has been quite an adventure thus far. As expected, she loves her food, just like her mummy! She loves her vegies and I also make banana custard out of breast milk, yes a little icky and I grimace whenever I have to test the flavour or temperature, ughhhhh. This also has brought new dimension to her nappies, I will not go into the details as I am still trying the block out the experience.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Virgin blogger, computer illiterate, infact struggling to find the blogspot I just set up. This teamed with my loose grasp on grammar, spelling and all things written could create something not even worth the time it takes to turn my computer on.
However, I have been a new mum now for nearly six months and still trying to work out if the Mummy shoes fit. I have gone from a well travelled, make up encrusted career woman to a blithering swollen blob of Mummyness. To prove my point let me describe my surroundings, soggy breast pad to my left, childrens toys scattered all over my hand picked Turkish Rug, crappy Good Morning programme polluting my vision and eardrums, chinese laundry set up composing of nappies and pumpkin stained bibs all this and I am still in my maternity pyjamas...........sigh I never even used to be allowed to wear pyjamas, now it is all I can do to hide my misshapened, stretch marked body.
I am hoping this site will be of some theraputic value for me and it will give me a chance to spill out some of lifes little idiosyncrasies. I am still painfully aware that my hormone levels are still out of whack as I can go from chuckling mild mannered all forgving wonderful person to a rampaging brutally honest bitch in a mere moment. I can still see the fear in my husbands eyes when he realises he has accidentally, left the toilet seat up.
Righto I had best go and start my day as the angel is stirring and as per usual I am starving. Today I am going to relax as I have spent the last three days painting the fence, relax, ha ha I laugh in the face of free time. Infact just to write this blog I had to forgo my shower time. Oh well stinky mummy