Saturday, July 18, 2009

Five Brilliant women the photo was titled, could not have been put a better way

Monday starts the new week with many positive changes, stay tuned as this time I think it is going to work and it will be in part because of these wonderful women. May my unyeilding positivity inspire you all. I shall from this point be no longer be filling the void with cupcakes....................OK perhaps not this point in time as I have a party to do cup cakes for this weekend BUT from then...............................cup cakes, they not for me.

Monday, July 06, 2009

I think I have MAN flu!

It's true! I have been in bed for three days and at this very moment am having a good patch. All the classic man flu signs, vocal cords pitched to "whine", inability know what it is that would help me, Cos I DONT KNOW! so very week I cannot even pick up my my own snotty tissues, three days in bed and only changed PJ's under duress yesterday. I must be looking so attractive at the moment, this morning I awoke with a strange feeling as I must have been sleeping with my mouth open and tongue poking out as my mouth has never been so dry and my tongue had cracks in it! You should see my nose as it is a monument dedicated to Vasaline, a wide grinning strip of the shiny stuff plastered under my nose with just as much shoved up it to stop my nose from falling off. My whole body hurts, even my lungs and diaphragm. It has been such a long few day as I never ever thought I could get sick enough not to be able to read in bed! What a waste, three days of not being able to read, curse you bright light! Today I am much better and actually contempating a shower.

This swine flu has my knickers in a knot. I am a healthcare professional and still I am confused. But you know me and my arm could be falling off and I still would not go into A&E as 'it will be right and I would not want to bother them!' Our poor pops was effected the worst, terrible temperatures, shocking coughs, shortness of breath with poor air movement. Pops always coughs in winter, always has and no amount of normal or alternative medicine seems to help it. Her dad was like this as a child. I do worry for pops as her respiratory system is not very strong.

I just wish there was an easy way to spot swine flu, like toenails turning to trotters or unexplainable urgings to put a ring through your nose. Rather than "flu like symptoms" feck any day of the week I have half of them. I did however ring work and say I would not be in today and it god damn came close to killing me, I am such a goodie two shoes that I hate to call in sick even when it is real. Heart palpitations, nervous sweat and stuttering voice GOD I HATE IT!

Actually that is more than enough for me today, thinking of plucking my eyebrows next.......................that should take all day given what I saw looking back at me from the mirror thing morning. Or perhaps bed and sort the yeti out later!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Zopicolone, you blessed blue beauties

Now you know me gals, not usually afraid to shove bad things in my mouth, cream doughnuts, ginger slice, blue cheese, bacon..........mmmmmmm bacon god I love bacon ANYWAY...............................................

When I last wrote to you I may have missed something out! When the wheels fell off and all hope was lost, I went to the doctor. Oh, words cannot clearly explain to you how mortified I was going to the doctor to air what I considered 'Dirty laundry' Of course at the time it added my distaste for CH as it was because of HIM!

I was worried I was depressed.

I also did not accept that. I have been there and this was not the same.

The thing with me as like all of you wonderful Mums out there, an unbroken sleep is rare. For me it is impossible and has been that way for over twelve years or more and I normally survive on more or less then 3-4 hours a night. I just cannot fall asleep with ease. I have always looked at this as a gift as it allowed my so much more reading, thinking and letting my imaginings fly! Thats way I have so many projects on the go at once!

Over the last year it has been a complete curse. Worrying about everything, twenty different thoughts each with new things to worry about in every case scenario that could go with it. It became normal and I could easily not sleep a whole night and still go to work the next day and feel the same. No extra tiredness as I was just exausted all the time. Anxiety, it was crazy!

My friendly doctor wanted to prescibe a course of anti-depressants. I asked for a raincheck but asked for sleeping pills and WOW what a difference. For the first week it was no change, just relief not to have things in my head. I felt just the same with seven hours unbroken snoring as I did with one. This week is amazing, I am tired still but my giggle is back and I am now laughing my arse off at TV programmes, something I never even realised had gone. Emotions, I am now back to nearly crying at every thing that pulls on the heart strings, sad stories, crappy ads, you name it! OF COURSE NO ONE SEES! I have not completely changed! I have energy to do exercise in fact today is the first day I have had a rest day this week.

Today was great, I organised a suprise morning tea for all the wonderful ladies at Mainly Music to celebrate 10 years of being in our community and I just love them. Yeah more cupcakes What a fantastic morning the girls were amazing when I asked my eldest what the highlight of her day was apart from the food, I thought she would say dancing of friends or wearing dress ups but no it was when she accidently let her helium balloon go and floated away to the clear blue sky, she was mesmorised. I think she might be just like me and every action can be turned into a magical imagining.