Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........Good things happen to good people........

Good always triumphs over evil. Things happen for a reason.

I have to believe, with the week news stories I am truly finding it hard.

May you rest in peace Emma, may people tread carefully where you are laid as buried with you are many New Zealander's hope.

Good ole St John

I have gone and been inspired again.

I am waiting on one more tiny detail and my application to be a Saint Johns volunteer will be underway. Provided I make the grade it will be a most exciting and rewarding experience. I not only get to give back and help my local community I also get the chance to study and learn on the job how to become a paramedic. It will take many years of commitment but it just feel right and I was like a swotty kid at the meeting, so very excited.

I am not sure if you realise this but when you are in need of a Ambulance you are mostly being attended by volunteers. There are few paid positions in Saint Johns as it is a registered charity and nothing to do with the goverment. It is a passion and they really are the unsung heroes, imagine if people stop giving their time, where will we be. Well this is one thing I am not prepared to leave it up to someone else, so hopefully all going well you will be able to join with me in my new adventure over the next few years and you never know you too may get inspired!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Monday a day of rest, relaxation and magazines by the pool. Yes I still have dreams.

Reality? Scrubbing all day for tomorrow we have a house inspection. My only hope is my children let me do this with as little whingeing as possible. I have never had a house inspection before and as it is through a rental agency past memories of other peoples horrific experience with said inspectors are coming to mind. I know it has to happen but lordy I feel it is such an invasion.

Today as luck would have it we are toilet training and have been for a couple of weeks and already before 9am I have cleaned up 2 accidents. I find it so hard keeping my cool and saying 'next time you will do it in the pottie won't you' When really I am chewing back a very different sentence.

Yes I know I am procrastinating by doing this very blog but let me delude myself for another few minutes.

I really am quite knackered and still recovering from the weekend. My fault really I went around to a girlfriends on friday night where I proceeded to drink far too much cheap wine. By 4am I was awake, felt like I had a mouthful of cornflour and there was no way I could get back to sleep with the pain throbbing behind my eyeballs. Stupidly I got up and within no time I was up too my elbow in mince making hamburger patties, icing cup cakes, making rainbow jelly..........oh it was a very long day. But damn it was cool, Ella had a blast!
Look at my girls........................................they are just lovely at the moment. Poppy is going through a very affectionate stage which means keeping a towel handy to wipe up the slobber from spontaneous displays of love. She is not walking yet but finds in immensely funny to try balancing 'no hands' she is a real parrot at the moment and tries to say things you say but mostly she is just saying the basics, Our names, Hiya!, yep! Ella is a complete chatter box and constantly amazes me with her observations. They are both completely different and really hard cases. I look at the photo above and I find it hard to believe they are my daughters, where the hell did they come from?

Ladybug ladybug fly away home

It is Ok to feel somewhat inadequate while basking in the glow of my Pattisserie prowess........................................here it is my first ever attempt at a Childrens Birthday cake and I had a really great time doing it. It may not be the most well put together cake but it tasted fantastic, was extremely moist and more impotantly was a bit of a hit with all the children. The best part of it is the little figures I made around the edge as I have packed them away in a special little box filled with cotton wool to go with Poppy's keepsakes. At this rate I am going to need two extra bedrooms for the crap I keep.
The party was fantastic and everyone was extremely well feed with lots of dancing children giggling their way around the house dropping feckin red and black icing on our carpet(which stains) We are already finding we are being surrounded by the most amazing people who willingly invite us in to share their lives

Monday, November 19, 2007

Lordy I almost cannot cope. Ever since I became a mother I am just a festering open sore of emotion. Missing Christchurch woman Emma Agnew has me in complete turmoil and was saddened by what I read this morning about her family given up hope of ever seeing her alive again.

You all know I am naive and like to think of the good in people but I just cannot believe she is dead for I truly hope and have to believe that good things happened to good people. I am already terrified enough of things in this world and most of the time you can put it down to thinking things only happen in the movies. When we are faced with blood curdling events in every day news it is any wonder we leave our windows unbarred or even venture outside the home for we truly do not know what is stalking us. I feel hunted and I am as unprotected as a turkey around christmas time.

My heart is truly exsposed for her family and should anything like that would happen to my loved ones, I really do not think I could ever breathe again. Absolutely horrific.

I am not a big talker to God but hell I am praying for Emma and her family.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Fucking Facebook

I finally gave in so I could view a couple of friends who do not blog and keep up with their lives and the next thing I knew I had wasted a whole morning. DO NOT DO IT!

Happy Bithday Pops

Friday, what a complete fabulous day. A day to celebrate the one year anniversary of welcoming Poppy into our lives. I love my children's birthdays, not just for the excuse to sprinkle the day with fairy lights, bubbles, cake and giggles, not to even mention chocolate for breakfast but reflecting on how we got here. I am sure friends of mine out there will understand as much as the birth of your child is your greatest physical pain but now that part is long forgotten and I take the opportunity to remember hour by hour what happened to ensure the memory lives. I loved my experience and thinking upon it only makes my love stonger, gosh I am just so in awe of my children 'LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE CREATED!'

I honestly do not know my arse from my elbow at present. I have been a solo mum for about three weeks now as CH works all the hours given then socialises the rest away, the girls only see him for half an hour in the morning, he is so knackered and still five weeks of busy times to go.

I have so many projects on the go that I barely know where to start, in fact the very act of writing this blog entry today is pissing about and in strong denial of the fact I have much to do.

I am making my fist ever Children's cake and am struggling with the looks V's taste debate. I am making a Ladybug cake and I can make it look fantastic in lovely rolled red icing that traditionally graces Christmas cakes but it will taste like crap or I can ice in it a incredibly yummy frosting and have it look 'rustic' but taste great. What is the point in having cake and not having it taste fantastic. I think I have just made my decision.

In the background you can see our outdoor Christmas tree, it does really look lovely and it night our garden is a twinkling wonderland, of course I got burned to a cinder with decorating and I am sure lucky not to have fallen off a ladder with my complete disregard for Occupation health and safety but I love it and I am sure I am the biggest kid around at this time of the year and will be so until my dying day.

This Saturday we are having a party a Christmas/staff party/Poppy's birthday which will be great, poor neighbours I must to some butt kissing. A few weeks ago we had a bit of a night and our small garden became a latrine, fecking filthy animals, two toilets in a house and still they piss on fences. Bloody men constantly like to display the fact they piss anywhere and not once wet their socks!

I so wish you were all here to celebrate with us and help me make colourful treats and rig up an electric fence in out garden area.

Right off to start my day...................................................................



Sunday, November 11, 2007

She's all gone with her red shoes on.....................

I must admit I was a bit anxious about going out with the gals in Whakatane. As you know there is a wee bit of problems up here at present and many had filled my head with tales of violence, warnings of making sure I was home by midnight and other such that should really only be in the realm of campfire tales.

The only reason a little white girl should be home before midnight is utter utter boredom.

I truly expected good bands with lots of regge, dub, drum and bass for that relaxed summertime feeling. Boy was I wrong. All we could manage a shitty little bars and local bands, albeit really good covers bands but just not to my tastes as they belt out 'Mustang Sally' to the overabundant gyrating booze hags.

There was one glimmer of excitement which made me put my money where my mouth is, yet another shitty feet sticking to the floor bar that played host to the younger members of the community. Lots of retro 'rage against the machine' with hip hop mixes. Boy did I feel old being some 14 years senior to most of the bods busting a move there. I love to dance but in all seriousness I was pulling myself to go out and try to foot it with the young 'uns when having not danced in years.

Oh there was a time when I could really move, now its only when Nappies are on special.

I pray that I did not look to bad on the dancefloor..........................old white girls can dance...honest..............................................yeah right. Well at least no one put me in the recovery position.

All in all I had a cracker of a night with a real great bunch of women, admittedly most drink like men so I could never keep up on that score but I cannot wait to do it again. I recommend to one and all of you yummy mummies out there to get off your arse and go have some non family fun!

Thursday, November 08, 2007


I really must lay off the ciggarettes.

I also could be said I should never have started again.

My current excuse seems to be a combination of relaxation and naughtiness. CH as most of you will know hates smokers and sees little point to it. If that is not incentive the I do not know what is.

Honestly there is not much better at the moment than making a good cup of coffee for morning tea on the deck by our bedroom, shutting the door, lighting a ciggarette and basking in the local birds morning chatter. It is a fantastic start for the day it is almost like my own wee motavational meeting.

I am off out tonight I KNOW, SHOCK HORROR! a group of gals who go out for a meal, drinks and a chat once a month. Also this week it may suprise you to know I went for a walk, yes a proper one, I sweated and everything! My neighbour and I have decided to go a couple of times a week. Her name is Jodi, which seems just wrong.

Also next week I have been invited to a Stationery party. Damn right I will go to anything that celebrates staying still. Instead its paper and things, a new one for me and hell its gotta beat a linen party. All I can say is that I better be home by Heroes!

The weather is fabulous here and we have been eating our own strawberries for two weeks now, Hmmn what shall we do today, we baked cool gingerbread shapes yesterday, I think the beach today, get your towel and hat and come with us.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

A Family that plays together, stays together!

I remember once telling a lovely Scotish friend of mine about the state of child abuse in this fair country and cracking a joke similar to my title above. She was appalled at not only my gall to make jest but the fact that so many New Zealand families are riddled with child abuse.

The leading story when I hoped off the plane back in Christchurch was research proving that one in four New Zealanders experience sexual abuse before the age of 15, normally at the hands of a family member or trusted family friend. I know this to be true. The highlight of all this "research" for me was that they now attributed this terrible abuse to loosening advertising and veiwing restrictions, consumption of alcohol and the decay of morals. What a crock of shite, so are they saying companies that advertise a product using women in bikinis promote fiddling with children! You cocks. I do not think you can explain why this happens only that it does, I know it, you know it, it disgusts us as a nation. No one cares, I can prove it.

Heard any more on that story which broke more nearly two weeks ago?

Nope gone for another couple of months, lets help starving children in Chad instead. Its easire to digest. Perhaps somewhere down the track more advertising restrictions or some bullocks and the reason will be citied by the above research.

I have been thinking for some time now how to face this and how we as a community could make positive changes. One half of me cannot even believe we openly discuss this as really IT SHOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! But it does.

I think somehow somewhere firm lines have to be drawn while other PC ones erased. Our confusion with all this PC bullocks has clouded our judgement and made us doubt our abilities to parent. Ella ever since going to child care she has hated anyone changing her Nappies, I worry but yet she is most likely just being a prat. Ella the other night was playing with some little boys at a party and on the way hime she said "I touched a boy!" If they had not been in my sight the whole time, I would wonder. Is this not bullocks. I am scared for my children and it is perhaps expecting that everyone is a potential kiddy fiddler has given strength to the kiddy fiddler as we have set the expectation long ago.

How to change? I remember going to a play a few years ago and in it was a Man talking about getting a hard on while his child bounced about on his knee, my first reaction was like most and one of utter disgust but then he went onto say he felt terrible about it and how that must mean he was an abuser and it was not until he thought about it rationally that it was just the movement and not what actually what was on his knee that did it, I guess like some men get a driving hard on and that does not mean the want to have sex with the car!

It is normal natural things that happen that we cannot talk about anymore that we have created a monster, gosh when I think of all the things we did as children we would have been called sexual preditors by some as making poor little fellow from down the road play spin the bottle or flush his naked arse down the loo or fiddle with each others bits when playing doctors and nurses all harmless fun with complete lack of understading but now considerered taboo when really it was natural inqusitiveness.

Punishment is part of the solution, public floggings perhaps. Teaching our children common sense has to be another part of it as they need to know the difference between uncle playfully slapping them on the arse if given the opportunity to inappropriate behavior. We need to give them strength and courage to stand for what is right and nurture those parental bonds to ensure the lines of communication are open.

The past is gone and cannot be changed and tomorrow is not yet here so what we do with today really matters. Remember that.


God dammit I need some clarity in my life and one heck of an explanation!

As you know I have a nasty wee habit of tele watching and wait poised for the mind mushing return of the new series of my favourte TV programmes.

One of those is 24. I magine my surprise when trying to drag myself off to bed at 11pm last night when an episode of 24 that I have never seen came on! At that time of night, you bastards!

What the heck, is this a new series or another series I have never seen.

Can anyone clarify?

Melbourne the homecoming

Ella checking herself out in her halloween outfit complete with her highlight LIPSTICK look at the lush curls!

The girls at a Twilight county fair last week.

I must admit to sulking for almost a week upon my return. Do not get me wrong I love my life and my children are my reason for taking breath. Before I left I had huge anxiety about leaving especially my youngest but to my surprise It took me three days to miss them. It was a timely break and reminder that I am not just the Mother of Ella and Poppy or the wife of Jason. I drank, smoked like a train, took pills and giggled my way through the day without a shitty nappy in sight.

Girl power is what it was, no matter how close you are to your husband there are just things that you can do with your girl friends that you cannot do with your husband. Spending full time hours in shops, perving at eye candy all the while discussing female issues and most likely coming up with a cure for world hunger. I recommend to all my sisters out there to plan a similar gal getaway as it really gets you back to basics and fills you with the joie De vere once again.

By the fourth day however I really did long for my girls but was helped along by some lovely wee mothers helpers, I am not really into pills but these little cherubs are amazing they have a combination a herbs for general well being but they do contain some BZP, the effect was outstanding, I felt happiness like I have not felt in years, energy was just beaming from every orifice and they really made the holiday. Go figure! I now have a supply and will only use for special occasions as I can see now why thing like this were chewed on like candy for the Mums of the 60's, 70's and 80's.

CH was fabulous with the children and was the most amazing star and now I can see he understands what my day is about and how truly thankful and appreciated my Motherly skills are. The best thing for me is to see he truly has got to know Poppy and that is just beautiful.

Melbourne the shopping

Blessed are the visa card users for they shall inherit the world!

I was such a dithering mess when I left and although I had the blessing of my husband who constantly encouraged me to spend money, I really did think I would hold back a little on the spending. Boy was I wrong I shopped like I have never and will never shop again. I left NZ with 13kgs and returned with 51kgs of clothing and accessories, you will be pleased to know I got all on my wish list and then I got more. The prices choice and originality was gobsmacking and I truly nearly brought in every shop I visited. We spent the bulk of our time in Bridge Street which is quite like a much larger High Street in Christchurch and Smith street. We never ventured into one of those mammoth DFO malls as the prices of Bridge street was much cheaper. We also went to the Victoria Market and I was truly expecting to go nuts there but it was mostly junk.

Duty free I love it, I got three perfumes, skin and eye care, alcohol and most importantly the huge fuck off Toblerones, man I adore them and sadly I only have one left and it is on borrowed time.

Those who know me well we also know my aversion to exercise, well ladies I walked my arse off and every day my muscles were stiff and sore from lugging gargantuan bags of shopping, yes I had shopping injuries. My feet as you know are interesting in shape and tied to thwart my escapades at every level. Much to my surprise I bought a pair of Crocs. Now in the past I have cast scorn and made vomiting noises at those wearing the hideous summer gumboot and even as recently has a week before I left I giggled at the stupidity of my sister for spending $50 on a pair of Croc thongs. I now own a pair of croc thongs and I have to say that without these glorious plastic fantastics I would have had to stop shopping or go bare footed.

Favourite buys,
Transformers belt buckle,
Fabulous summer dress
and these forgiving denim Gripp 3/4's

Melborne the food

I have been home for well over a week now and my holiday still takes up much of my day.

Melbourne was without a shadow of doubt fabulous. Words could not ever convey how blooming ridiculously fantastic my time away was. For the entire trip I was a giddy little schoolgirl with eyes as big as saucers and a dorky grin to match!

The food was outstanding in every way and as much as it pains me to admit this but the culinary standard of most restaurants made their NZ counterparts look like Ma and Pa’s tuck shop. We only had five nights which meant cold and harsh decision making on what parts of Melbourne to explore, in China town I tried Peking duck for the very first time and I will just kill myself if that was the last time I will ever experience its succulent, bewilderingly tasty little packages.

We feasted upon much fresh prawn, squid, fish, exotic terrines, cured meats, mouth zapping relishes, amazing new season Queensland nectarines and fresh sushi but my personal favourite was Melbounians love of juice bars, Oh it is that orchard fresh goodness I miss most of all. I feel so isolated in a town where a juice bar is the local pub with raro on tap.

The best night by far was the Sunday evening, D and I were belles of the ball I cannot remember what the lane was called but it is only there at night and all of the tables were lit with candle light and the weather warm and muggy and a two piece jazz band played through our meal. At about dessert we started getting the glad eye from the band and before we knew they were serenading us in Italian with songs of our choice. I noticed the girl in the table next to us was having a birthday a pretty wee Malaysian girl celebrating her 18th. It ending up D and I dragged her up to dance and before you knew it we were having an amazing time dancing for the other diners. One of the partners of the jazz player a rather large Italian lady was up dancing first and man alive could this lady dance and she would severely put most to shame, what a love of life and younger men this woman had, the soles of my feet still bear some of the inground Melbourne pavement I got from dancing like a snake!!! I know it is what one of the old Italians described my dancing skills………………………………….. What a night but the merriment soon came to an end and about 3am I was cursed with having the dry horrors and not a drop of water to drink, painfully remembering why I do not drink often!