Best thing since baby wipes!

I cannot believe what a dork I have been for all these years. Mother's everywhere proclaimed and rejoiced of the power of Phenergan. I of course sitting upon my white steed of Mummy purity could do nothing but cast disaproving looks in their direction. Not to mention the distaste I felt when going to the pharmacy looking for a carsickness remedy and finding my only option for a three year old was to drug them!

Marvellous stuff, I cannot believe I took so long and put up with so much carsickness and near divorce brought on by crying children and long journeys. It turned a nine hour, god forsaken car ride into a six and a half hour joy ride! Words cannot explain but get ye to your local pharmacy and purchase, although it is not reccomended for the under two, but in days of old it was and I used it on pops who is not quite two and what a difference! I am thinking of having a swig or two myself!

“Look at my arse!”
“My dad is a dick”
“When is your hair going to fall out like grandad’s?”
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP”
“She’s a big one!” (at the supermarket commenting on people)
“I want to be FAT, I want to be FAT!” (again at the supermarket and aimed at said people)
“Why should I?”

Just a small sample of the many new phrases Ella seems to have picked up on her holiday.

Oh the next week or two are going to be hell as whilst we were away this child was showered in sugar and bathed in lemonade, allowed to run riot and completely forgot all the manners I have taught her. Oh she was a clever bunny and fully realised I could do didly sqat to punish her while the granparents were around and she lorded it over me whenever she could. You gotta admire the stones on her really.

Poor girl, as much as she is testing my patients she really is a deaf as a post and serving a brilliantly well thought of telling off is just not the same when you expect tears at the finish and all you get is “What?” or “Huh?” It has just lost its sting by then.

Thinking about doing some sort of reward/sticker/sparkly bead/marble behaviour modifier......................................yes............... armpits growing hairy and preparing to hug trees as you read.

Home at last, 4kg’s heavier and significantly more warty but home none the less. It has been one heck of a trip really and I do intend to bore you all with descriptions of all the WC’s from Whakatane to Ashburton. Including Ella’s most favourite toilet and also her top ten choice in fabric to be carsick on.

But right now I must take my leave and rest my travel weary self and for the first time in two in a half weeks not share my bed with one of my snoring farty children.

Helllllooooooooooooooo

Haaah! thought I had left blog world in favour of afternoon dates with Jeremy Kyle, did you?
Well because of your 'glass is half full attitude' you are rewarded by your persistence and here is a the next exciting installment of the life according to me.

Hush.....................calm yourself and allow to walk in my shoes for a couple of moments.

Last month was pretty blooming horrid, day after day of children. Unfortunately mine. Unrelentless battles with the sole running of the house, hills....nay MOUNTAINS of laundry and no CH to fold them. I absolutely detest folding washing and with CH being away for nearly two months it really bites. I even tried to ignore the mountain on the couch and hoped I could leave it long enough for CH to come home and work his magic on the weekends. Sigh it would have worked but I felt guilty.

I really was doing exceptionally well with this sole parenting gig and was beginning to enjoy it. I also was fast approaching that oh so dangerous territory of self relience and getting all Alpha figure on poor CH when he came home for weekends.

Last week however I was feeling a little under appreciated, it had been a hard one. Ella's hearing has got really poor and god bless her cotton socks it is not her fault but hell it makes for a long day, I was also gagging to be out of the house working for people other than my children and needing to worry about someone else's problems for a change and was very aware that it was because of CH that I could not go. Oh yes I realise things cannot change and it is a short term thing but feck I am not a saint and realised I was about to loose my rag. My fault really, I chose to have a "talk" to CH while he had MAN FLU, by all accounts it would have killed a normal man. Anyhoo I prattled on and saw that oh so familar clouded blank look and got nil result. I then cursed myself on the timing, he had been busy and was unwell, how selfish am I.

Thursday I finally broke. Totally unplanned. Feck it we are not exactly flush but I deserve it and I decided that I was going to buy a pair of boots I had been wanting for a year. I found this fantastic pair of red ankle boots, on sale. Hmmn not what I came in for. I was also skeptical on the longevity of ankle boots, they were a great price. SOLD.

I spotted a brown pair of tall leather and suede combination, again not what I came in for, but they fitted so well and looked great.........they were on sale, under half price SOLD

Found them! A pair of tall black boots with a sturdy but still unsensible heel, I finally found what I went shopping for SOLD

Now by my calculation by buying three pairs of boots in a huge sale, I had saved CH $400. Well thats money in the bank really.................................so with it I bought two new skirts, new eye shadow and a lovely mascara.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph......................I have been a bad bad girl and was feeling somewhere between giggling school girl and fuck I spent this months grocery money. Cringe

Surprisingly all my previous 'woe is me' was gone and was replaced with the realisation than CH was going to rip me a new one. I had done wrong, deserved a bullocking.

I came clean Via text. Ahhh modern convienience I knew he could not call as he was in meetings. Should ever I need to admit to adultery this would be my choosen method, hey I could even add a picture if words were not clear enough. Second thoughts the phone camera is pretty harsh, terrible lighting.......

Anyway he just laughed. Crisis Averted! Phew.

Now I mentioned Ella earlier and am pleased to tell you that on September 10th she finally gets her ears operated on and will hear properly. Apparently now she hears the equivelent of listening underwater. I am pleased, but as I had the same operation at the same age and I still remember the pain vividly. I am nervous for her. Her world is just going to bloom and as her mouth goes full speed now I am almost in fear! She is so funny at the moment and is getting quite adept at taking the piss. I have no idea why I am suprised, looking at her parents.

Pops, well what can I say she is just as lovely as she is naughty. She is such an old soul and forever amazes me at the moment my favourite thing is the way she thanks me for things that do not require thanks, like tonight she had a couple of eczema patches on her thigh so I got some cream and rubbed them on, once I had finished she looked me straight in the eye and said a heartfelt, Thankyou.

It is not an excuse but I shall not be entering any more blogs for a couple of weeks, no not because I am "busy" or lazy it is the simple fact I will gallavanting around NZ. So take care everyone, all is well. No I am not slim as treadmill and diet stopped. We can start again later.