Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Turbo powers are GO!!

Yes ladies, I did threaten it. I had been flirting with infomercials for some time now and had fully convinced myself that the number one phenomenon in exercise was for me. TURBO JAM! and bugger me but it is not all that bad.

Thus far I have exercised five days in the past six. Truly unheard of in my world. The real eye opener is that I did know I was unfit but I will still holding on to a glimmer of hope that it would not be all that bad. It was so much worse.

Day one, I watched the learner sequence that showed you how to do the eleven moves used in the workout. I could not make it past the learning for not only is my coordination shot but I was a sweating gibbering mess by the end of the learning section.

Day Two, Success I completed the first fifteen minutes learning and graduated on to a fifteen minute workout.

It has continued and now I can do most of the moves and put them together in a almost exercise like manner. I am encouraged with how quickly things get easier, So all in all coming together nicely my next hurdle is how to gag whingeing children.

Not changing my diet yet and focusing on getting mobile.

A good friend said to me recently something along the lines of "If you change nothing in your life then how can your life change" Well said and point taken.

Also wanting to do a Triathalon, well baby steps huh!

Play group drama

I knew it was too good to be true, a gaggle of girls meeting once a week and not having bitchy catfights. It happened yesterday and I was not even involved but still I feel the discomfort. Thats the problem, ever since I had my babies my empathy is off the charts and I simply cannot handle others hurt. Particulary when a bully is involved.

You hear of Mother's Group bullies, I have actually been witness to one before and then as per usual I chose to get the hell out Dodge. This is normally fairly easy for me to cut ties with little coffee groups, in the past I really have not wanted to attend so it has been an easy and predictable out. This however is different as there is many women here that I truly like and do not want to bail because it is too hard. Besides I bet it will have blown over in a week or two.

Coffee group ettiquitte is quite complex with many unwritten boundries that differ from group to group. Hell the hell, do you as learner parent stand a chance against a coffee weary veteran in a confrontation. You can always tell the ladies who for years frequent these dens of the instant blend. They are the ones who always have their crappy stained clothes on(because they have learned not to wear their best like new Mummies and besides are so comfortable with who they are and how they parent), their children always have their nose crusted in snot and usually have a shitty nappy which is laughed off, they are not phased by their child bonking kiddies on the head and only laugh when some other child steals their kids lunch.

Ah so much to learn, I am not even close to being at that stage but am slowly getting there. I remember a time when I would throw stern accusing looks at snotty nosed children, MY CHILD MIGHT CATCH A COLD! or the first time another child pushed my first born, now it is my child pushing others, mainly where food is involved of course. The way she eats at playgroup is just embarrassing, but that is another story. In fact I think it was commented today that perhaps Ella should have her own table to give others a fighting chance of eating something.

OH the shame! ya see I still need my training wheels

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Do you have a secret friend? I did. Someone who is so special that upon my most wakeful hours I can retreat into the depths of my mind and have adventures or seek comfort. Someone who is so high upon a pedestal that they have aged only as you have wanted and imagined them to. Someone who can look into your eyes and only see the goodness of your soul. A fantastic friendship, one not tarnished by sexual innuendo and really if at all honest completely made up. This one however is very much alive.......................... and yet is very dead to me.

Normally I am thankful of such a wistful imagination but today I am just haunted. I dreamt of said person last night, which is quite normal but this time was very different. Normally my dreams are fun, full of laughs and interesting times. In my dreams I always meet with this person and I imagine myself from years ago completely untarnished by the years. This time I was myself in all my old, warty, worn and wrinkled glory. It was horrible. I felt exsposed and as embarressed as if I had just pissed my pants halfway through a important job interview.

In my dream in my cringeful state, we had a conversation. One of those honest converstations that completely rapes you with reality. I feel like I have lost something with no chance of getting it back. I do not want to move on but want to keep things in my head behind glass with a sign that says 'Do not touch, display only!'

I suspect this comes from my period returning. It seems to signal the end of the birth experience with Poppy. The fact that I could indeed get pregnant again makes me feel somehow disloyal to Poppy. Like the cord finally being severed. I guess I am very aware of how quickly my baby is growing and will soon be a toddler. I am also aware that this baby will be the last I have. It does make me a little sad. It is all just stupid hormones I guess but has given me an odd uneven feeling.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Well honey lets put on my $5 hooker shoes we are going out on a date

To all ye hard working Mum's out there, rejoice as all is not lost...................unlike my waistline.

It is Monday, all day. Unlike most previous Monday's I can actually stand on my soapbox and shout that I had a fricken fantastic, completely reckless, debauched and irresponsible weekend.

Go on, ask me how my weekend was.................

I am not going to tell you all of the sordid details in the hope of keeping your lunch down. Today is CH's Birthday and he is a young 36 with only minor crumbling around the edges. This year I wanted to do something special but my choices were fairly limited. I wanted to actually relax with my CH and just enjoy each other without the responsibility of the day to day. I thought about many things, vineyard tours, fishing but in the end I felt we would be spending all out time driving to places as we could not be away for the night due to Poppy still getting up in the early hours.

I came up with the idea of a day stay in a hotel. I was completely embarressed ringing around the hotels to see if they did such a thing as 'Daystays' I felt like the wicked whore of Babylon and the thought of checking in had me cringeing. In fact when ringing around I actually made out that I was doing it on someone elses belhalf, I am such a geek. Really what does it matter what other people think "Yeah, sure that is your husband!" wink wink You would have thought that perhaps on some level that it would be a bit exciting to check in and have someone think that you were a working lady(or the fact people would pay to have sex with you!) but no, mostly discomfort.

I had CH convinced we were going on one of those god awlful shared lunches with a bunch of people you have never met, so you can imagine how happy he was with that. I actually organised his parents to come over for the weekend and even when they arrived I acted dumb, definately Oscar winning performance. His parents said they could come to the picnic but had to be in kaikoura by two so off went CH and I to get supplies for the picnic. We stopped at Couplands and got a couple of snacks and went to the counter with CH spouting off how it would never be enough and we needed more before we could go home. Instead of reacting as I normally would I said, ' honey, we are not going home.' He was so confused and said what are we going to take on the picnic. I replied in a calm relaxed tone 'honey we are not going on a picnic' I then gave him directions to the hotel and he was looking all anxious and going on about how we could not stay all night, who would feed Poppy?........................You CAN'T stay just for a couple of hours!!...........are YOU mad!...........I am in a sign written vehicle!.......... it was such a laugh, he would not check in with me as he was bashful.

The hotel was lovely, a good sized spa for two, Sky movies, good food, wine and lovely crisp sheets to mess up. To finish off the night we went out for a meal but I cannot say that that was a highlight but to spend so much time with each other, it was just lovely. I would not change my life thus far for anything but it was grand just to put it on hold for half a day.

I reccommend this for any of you out there.