Sunday, July 20, 2008

Yes, it has been awhile.
Yes, I have fallen off the old exercise wagon, try as I might to listen to your words of wisdom and coaching, I still chucked it in. Three weeks of busting my ass on the treadmill, coupled with watching what I ate and still not a kilo lost of waist to be found anywhere! I EVEN ATE CARROT STICKS!!!!!! I FRICKEN HATE CARROT STICKS!

However this week starts afresh, with new energy and determination. Plus I have one hell of a detox to do as it a weekend of gluttony, drinking and ciggarettes. You all know that these days I am a cheap date and can giggle on the smell of a bar cloth. This weekend myself and a couple of gal pals decided to cut the cord, ditch our phones and disappear in to a bottle of wine or two over lunch. We were expected home about 3ish.

What a lovely day, you expect that when you go out with a group of gals to have fun but essentially spending a extended amount of time with people you only ever see for an hour or two could get a bit stale and forced. No such luck here ladies we just chatted and drunk and laughed until we nearly peed our panties for nine hours! It was so much fun and a real chance to blow off steam and the cool thing was very little of our children was spoken, it was just fab to find out more about each other and break to 'Mummy mould'

However I drunk far too much and by 1am I was remembering why I did not drink often and to rub salt into the woulds my darling eldest had a terrible high temp and I had to sleep with her yelling random phrases like "I want jam and marmite!" "NOOOOOOOOO Poppy dont hit me!" all the while the room was spinning.

To make matters worse CH seemed to have the pip with me all the next day which of course I took Oh so well.......................................................................We are screwed really, we get shirty at them for calling and asking stupid questions or if we check on them and they are panicking we get grumpy and even if they are cool with everything the entire next day we still feel guilty and just look for any innuendo or double meaning to jump on. Sigh. We will grow up one day.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I cannot believe it I have put on one kg! Why did I ever start dieting?
I am stunned................................................speechless

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Alright, It has been eight days since I have started my new exercise regieme. I have been on the treadmill for five of those days and eaten healthy for two of them. I can honestly say I have worked hard and sweated so much that the first time it happened my scalp got really itchy and prickly and I suddenly remebered that Ella had brought a letter home from daycare about a lice infestation.............................................I was imagining my hair alive with little crayfish!

Anyhoo, I have stood on the scales every fricken day and the bastard still goes up.


I am sure I could have continued sitting on my arse shoveling packets of choc delights into my gob and still had this result. If any of you are chatting to god in the next wee while, please mention I love his sense of mirth but would he consider a reward based incentive scheme, just to see the little arrow move down every once and a while would be grand.
I am such an over anxious dork. I cannot help it as the protective she wolf in me was heightened this week. There is this chap who works for the same company as CH and the long story short the fellow has some issues that have included crying for hours down the end of the phone or in person to CH about the stress of work, he needed help, we all have encouraged and been there for him for months. He had a bad time a month or two and spoke of how he wanted to end his life. From that point I felt like he was unpredictable and no longer comfortable alone with him. His work put him on stress leave and took him to someone to talk to and tried to make things better but alas his work ethics got so much worse and they have let him go. Before they did this they got his councillors opinion on what his stability was like and how he would handle such an event.

Well luckily CH was not involved in the decision or implementation but as you can imagine it did not go well and now he has threatened the life of not only himself but my husband and a few others.

As soon as I heard this was happening I was worried and now that this chap has threatening behaviour I am even more worried. So tonight I even double checked the locks. How silly is that? The worst part is of how quickly all these bad thoughts came into my head and the thought process behind what I would do if I had nothing to loose a score to settle. Geez sometimes I scare myself and thank god I am not a psycho serial killer as I would never get caught! But that got me to thinking at what point in our life is the decision made to be good or evil?

Of course we have all done some unspeakable things, be them minor or major and mostly all learning curves and that does not mean we are bad. When is all lost?

That case this week in Australia about the grandfather murdering his wife and grandchildren with an axe, was disturbing. Wrong on so many levels. The man must have been fundamentally broken, put together wrong. How? I cannot comprehend.

In some ways I am also relieved that this case had an effect. So often these days we are flooded with a smorgasbord of rape, murder, famine and disaster we yawn and continue with our day. So desensitised. I am so bad that I am watching a TV programme (DEXTER) and on the show the character is a serial killer and the is another serial killer and I like them both and want them to team up! Can you believe that! OK so it is only a programme but hell liking the main character who moonlights as a serial killer, that is just wrong!


Gosh darn it I was within a hare's breath of delivering a baby into our world on my last shift, Contactions 4 mins apart by the time we got to her and we were 20minutes away, I was sooooooo excited but foiled again as we managed to get said patient to the delivery suite before she delivered.

Apparently I will not be so keen once I have cleaned up the Ambulance after a baby arrives......................................................nahh still keen