Monday, April 28, 2008

Is there anyone else out there struggling to feed the family without going in to debt?

OK so we do not exactly have a cow shitting money in our back yard but for a one income family I consider our wage should be good enough to eat well and have takeaways once a week and perhaps do something with the family in the weekend. We are finding it really hard.

I would understand it I had something new in my wardrobe every week or CH lagered up every weekend, but in reality I am lucky to get a new out fit twice a year.

Sure, if we ate only sausages and frozen mixed vege and fizz instead of milk we could indeed be living the life of Riley. You may as well garotte me now. I love whole foods, fresh vege and good meat, quality dairy products and fantastic bread. This week I bought the cheapest whitest bread money could buy and it is just disgusting.

What can I do?

I love what I heard today about a petition dropping the GST on food shopping, this is a fantastic idea as I had no idea NZ is one of only a few countries who tax food the same amount as everything else. If you see this sign it and see what you can do.

Also here is a great tip if you have two vegie bins,

Keep one for last weeks fruit and vege and one for the lates shopping so to ensure there is no wastage and to eat you lush fruit and vegies in their prime. It works!

New Zealand Reporters are not fit to work for Englands 'The Sun'

How many times do I have to put myself on a media ban! You arsewipe, gutter sledging incompetent journo's have once again forced me to rip the plug out of the TV and radio in fear of being infected with your bottom feeding sludge for brains drivel.

I am once again over your under reporting of world events and your voyeuristic pedantic peddling of disgusting imagery involving sexual abuse and murder. I have no need to know the details that seem to be plasted over the digital frequency. Horrid details that serve no purpose other than to disrespect the victims memory, cause pain to the family and to desensitise the act through repetition.

I am not buying another NZ newspaper or listening to another NZ news on the television, I am indeed investing all my money on a friggin Woman's Day because it is a far better read and I hate magazines! Time, Empire and Q excluded. All I can say as Praise the lord for Jim Moira and honest to goodness old fashioned values. My lord I sound so old and warty.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Things I have learnt this week

Nappy lining is almost the worst thing to clean up.

Yes tis true, who knew, but really why would you need to? My youngest was a little bored this week and trying in vain to occupy herself when she decided to unstuff her Nappy. How?
Well first you piss more than the average elephant in a nappy then rip a hole in the front of said nappy then reach in and grab the swollen now urine flavoured gel and proceed to rub it into as many sufaces as possible, including all through her sisters bed and showering all her soft toys. This gel like substance looked like hundreds of jellyfish had exploded.

Always check you have wipes and always choose a pushchair.

Poppy was being gorgeous so I was feeling the love and in the mood for cuddles. Foolishly, I choose to carry her to the park and because of that I decided that it was not far and I would leave my cumbersome bag in the car. Off we went through town, looking at the shops, has a lovely play and as we left the park her arse exploded. Shit from here to friggin Africa. Brown bum sludge dripping, all over my arms, down my clothes and as luck would have it I had to walk through town back to the car, stinking and noticeably covered in shite. Ella of course had perfect timing as she dropped a tanty bomb...........................................................

When you are an empathy sponge, do not watch a doco on friends sister's murdered baby!

CH told me not to watch it but still I asked him to tape it for me as I was training that night. It took me until Thurs to get up the strength to watch it. I had just worked the whole nightshift on the previous night so I was knackered and I thought I would watch it quickly and then bugger off for a kip. Hell it was only 20mins long and for the entire programme I just streamed tears and continued to sob for the next two hours so much so I had to go and see my babies while they slept, even typing now I am starting to get a bit weepy. Chick personified.

Thai Thai brand Frozen meal (Green curry with prawns) is fantastic!

Ok yes it is true I do live in a place where the Thai food is really not good, so it could be said that my standards have lowered due to necessity but I assure you my tastebuds have not taken leave and that the above meal was lovely. I cannot remember praising pre packaged meals before so it comes as a shock even to me. The rice could have come straight from a rice cooker, prawns were succulent and sweet, two types of authentic thai eggplant, fabulous flavour.

I am simply amazed.

Nigel Latter

What a funny fecker he is!

Should you get the opportunity to go to one of his R rated "Unpolitically correct parenting show"
then do not dilly dally. This show was piss your pants funny and given the length of the show and how many Mum's there, it is a wonder it was not a wash out.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Tonight Ella at the supermarket said to me "My goodness that lady has beautiful big boobies"

CH has much to answer for

Gotta go, Kill Bill 1 is on and god I love it

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Thankfully back to serious matters. It has just been bought to my attention that I once again have been missing out on something other than my vegetables.

A wonderful sweet Dutch treat(much like my Eefje) Brand, Marandi - chocolate covered soft nougat in Rum and Raisin flavour. Make fast tracks down to your local deli or gourmet market, Don't question me, you need this to happen!

I also have just discovered the coolest poster site, You will spend hours there finding the perfect poster for upcoming birthdays, I am planning to get some mounted for a most thoughtful, one off piece of artwork................................unless you buggers buy the same posters.........................................................................................Terrible site, you would just hate it, what a waste of time...............................

Right I am off to have a bit of alone time, a book, choc and a quite place to hide from children. God bless their cotton socks for still sleeping in the avo. I am so lucky and I know it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I know I have told you about my mother before, the lady with a belch for every occaision. Before a meal, after a meal.......................halfway through a get it.

It used to really grot me. Old person disese. Disgusting habit letting out these bottom of the gut roars. I had just never felt the need as I have never really Burped, little mouth closed ones was as loud as it got. I just suspected my manners were better, of course.

Oh how wrong I was.

My last stomach virus left me with something other than nasty spatters, I now can BURP. Big loud ones! HUGE long ones lasting seconds with at least four note changes that actually make me feel better. I am 32 and have been missing out for previously said years.

I have been gloriously a belching and a burping for a couple of weeks now, keeping it all to myself and giggling foolishly at the more vocal ones.

It is becoming a nasty habit and it is only a matter of time before my new found talent makes a public appearence.

Hey normal people, how the hell do you stop burping? Well I am off to drink a can of fizz through a straw, fabulous !