Monday, August 28, 2006
But the height of my excitement and it will only be appreciated by parents, God Bless Ella's granparents as they want to have her for the Whole weekend........Yes of course I am nervous at being seperated BUT FUCK YEAH, we can sleep in, go to the movies, no shitty nappies or whingeing child..............It was funny, when Jason first told me I said great we can go to the pub.....as that moment I forgot I was heavily pregnant. Kinda limiting.
But who the hell cares, to be able to just hang out together as a couple, is amazing...well it has been nearly eighteen months.
Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooo where does one start..............................
As I have proclaimed before, I am truly trying to pick and choose my battles and just let go......breathe in and release. Besides I know this is truly not me, the real size 12 Jody is bound and gagged in the cupboard for most likely another nine months or so.
However CH is currently in Christchurch for a couple of days and as luck would have it so is Ella's carseat! We have had to cancel plans left and right. I am sure CH will claim that it was all in an attempt to get me to slow down(arse covered)......bum he may be a little right as I did have many plans but will now have to bullocky walk/waddle.
Man oh man, I remember having vivid dreams with Ella but mine currently are tumbling into 3D night terrors, one after the other for example last night a snapshot of my dreams would consist of Tsunami, volcanic eruptions, lost at sea, rape, murder, being trapped and helpless with waters breaking, inability to use lifesaving technology. How very relaxing. Gee I cannot wait until tonght.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Mind you when she was conceived we were spending time in Rotorua and immersing ourselves in Hangi's, carving, Marae Protocol and all things native to New Zealand, I wonder if a seed planted took root very early in her soul.
I must admit to knowing little of the new monarch Tuheitia Paki time will tell. I think his job will be more in the spotlight than in Dame Te Atairangikaahu's reign. Interesting times.
I have this amazing appetite for the little succulent bright orange morsels. I know, horribly high in the preservative sulphur dioxide. They are so very fine.
I am already suffering withdraw symptoms of losing my life blood television programmes, I know I came out with positive fighting words about not being televisions bitch anymore......
I recant, come back all is forgiven. I will gladly hold the lining of telly's pocket.
I am gutted, not only has Grey's finished UNTIL NEXT YEAR are they mad!!! I will be.
Mcdreamy managing to slip and impale himself in Meredith's Praying Mantis embrace. All the while the lovely Dr Addison Sheppard awaits. I will not even go into the obvious wardrobe malfunction that occured to make Addison look old and warty and Meredith look hot.
Denny........Oh Denny you lovely man........sigh.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
I have finally reached the 26 week mark and already feel 10 months pregnant. My stomach has dropped ALREADY, I have a significant sway when I walk. enough to rival a Brazilian drag queen. I grunt and moan most of the time, so much so that my toddler has picked up the habit and moans when she bends down. Charming.
One of those little things I had forgotten was that milestone when you can no longer pee quitely. Infact during those still wee hours in the dead of night when you are making your fourth visit to the loo, people within earshot could be forgiven in thinking such a racket could only be achieved by standing on the toilet seat and pissing from a great height!
I am not even going to talk about the farting, as of course I would not ever do such a thing and should I be struck down with such a curse it would sound like a melody and smell of spring flowers.
Yes, still deluded.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
At any one time I could right an A4 list of things that CH has done to piss me off of late. I detest feeling so friggin hard done by all the time it is so draining. The worst part is I have been having thoughts of late that it would be so much more easy without a significant other in my life as at present all CH provides is financial, I realy feel like I am going solo except instead of caring for one child and one on the way I feel like I am caring for two and one on the way.
Ever since my lovely child has been born I have been aware that to keep my sanity I need time off to be me. Every so often it comes to a head, I reach rock bottom rehash the same shit to CH, come out feeling better that things will change and guess what they don't.
CH is great do not get me wrong but I just want to feel respected and not someones dishpig as he so plainly put it 'it is my job' Be fucked, you can well imagine how I took that and how long I shall remind him of said quote.
But yes, it is my job. I do love being a mum it is the add ons I truly despise.
Women everywhere do this same job everyday and seem to do so without the slightest hint of resentment and worse they do it with ease and enjoyment, why am I wired so differently?
How will I cope with another child?? I am completely baffled to the logistics of such an operation. Although I am a god fearing type of gal I have not been a god worshipper since I gave up the idea of being a nun when I was 10. Now more that ever I wish I had my faith as I would pray for strength and perhaps be reassured that it may come to me.
For now I will just breathe
Monday, August 07, 2006
I know, I know early days but and the likelyhood of me finding some other life sucking void to fill in my evenings is high BUT I will try to fight it.
As you all know yesterday started with a motivational explosion and I am pleased to tell one and all that I managed to stick to most on the list with only half a chocolate chip biscuit to add to the guilt list. Remarkable, staying away from shops is the key.
I went to the most fantastic Plunket group today and met a cool bunch of gals, but strangely none of them local.......................I have a feeling infiltration of local yokels may be difficult and perhaps unheard of.
Any embroiders out there?? I am trying to create the what appears to be a bullion rose and am having difficulty pulling my needle through, any ideas please.......................how terribly lady like.
Each time I think I understand a little more of what is happening, I dig up something else that completely discredits what I thought I understood.
If you have a similar interest here is a link that could be of some interest www.haaretz.com
Here is a snippit from today's online forum.
To what extent is a victory possible in the Israel-Hezbollah war? If a military victory is reachable, what do the sides need to do to achieve it?
"Israel nevers learns . One of the principal reasons Hezbollah is so popular in Lebanon, is that it is the social welfare infrastructure, it provides schools, hospitals and other important aspects of the society. In targeting these things in its effort to root out Hezbollah Israel has created a perfect environment for the regrowth of Hezbollah. In destroying the infrastructure and demonstrating the in ability of the Lebanese government to defend their people Israel has created a need in the minds of the people for Hezbollah.The west, including Israel must take responsibility for rebuilding of Lebanon in order to choke off the resurgence of Hezbollah,The same is true in Palestine with Hamas.Be brave Israel, be smart. Take control of providing social support for the people of your enemies and you'll find the people on your side. Then the war will be won."
Sean Calaghan, Melbourne, Australia
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Once again I am putting three fingers to keyboard to proclaim the virtues of healthy living and how I intend to make a lifestyle change.
This time blog fans it needs to happen. I am feeling like a sack of shite and have been for some months now. Some of said feeling could of course be put down to being with footballing, innards gnawing, vitamin leaching child.
My diet of late has been shocking. This month I made an exciting discovery, as you know I am crap at sleeping...........................well I have worked out that if I really gorge myself on chocolate now I am talking full kingsize before bed behaviour! I almost sleep right through the night and am only getting up at the most twice! This is remarkable for me as normally I lay awake for hours and have to pee at least every hour.
As I am sick of speading most my day and night in the loo I am lucky to drink a litre of water a day. Since I am tired I only feel like eating crap, so I do, all sugar laden goodies.
So the cycle begins again.
This time I really going to try hard as I need to see and feel improvement or I am never going to cope with another child without going postal. Here is the plan, nothing drastic as that is just pissing in the wind.
- Drink at least 2lt of water a day, no fizzy or juice(purchase incontenence pants)
- Eat at least three servings of fresh fruit (buy less haemorroid cream)
- Trade in White bread for low GI bird bread
- NO BUTTER, low fat marg or cream cheese
- Walk to town at least three times a week
- No eating after 8pm and no more choccie banquets
- If need a biscuit, one is fine a packet is not.
- No more bakery food
- Actually do my pelvic floors as I really need to!!
Righto I shall give this a whirl, this is possibly normal and everyday for most of you virtuous sods, but for moi it is almost life threatening. If I can do this for the next month feeling good should be reward enough but incentive is great and I shall treat myself to a Hair appointment(it has been six months!) and some nice moisturiser and eye cream.
Ladies raise your pump bottles and lets drink to feeling healthy and Joie de Vivre!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I live about a 20min waddle from town and love seeing all the citrus fruit that everybody has in their garden. We must be about the only place with none, I must admit to being saddened by the amount of fruit that just lies to waste. I have thought about saying I will take some off people hands but you know me I just never could.
I went and had a coffee with a lady who gave me the in's and out's of what there is to do in Blenheim, very valuable information. It is the same old story, word of mouth is the most important source of information.
We had our first swimming class yesterday and met some lovely people, I could not fault the course at all and Ella really enjoyed busting some new moves.
Play center tomorrow so that should be good.
I also have found the local craft shop and have now set about trying to teach myself how to embroider. Not as easy as you would think when trying to teach ones self from a book. Yet another project I have on the go......I do hope I can finish this one.
I also have stumbled upon a lovely Jewellery shop called Ticketyboo and have spotted a few items of interest, I have left several cards at high traffic areas in the house and even a map of how to get there.....................too much of a hint?
Sorry the blogs of late are incredibly boring but I really am still a bit bamboozled about this whole shifting thing and I feel really up in the air, I guess it does not seem real yet.