Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Most days I can laugh off all attempts to destroy potplants, the resetting of all appliances, surfaces cleared of clutter, broken and smashed irreplaceable objects, cat food spreaded liberally over kitchen, toilet paper from one end of the house to the other. Most of the time you can blame it all on yourself for letting these things happen, I should have been more watchful.
The there are the days when you are not at the top of your game, feeling unwell and you could stubbornly choose to stand your ground rather than choose your battles. To smack or not to smack is the question?
As a overly smacked child it is always my first reaction to want to disipline my offspring with a firm whack on the hand. I have often said it did not hurt me as a child, perhaps the damage done is in my reaction to want to hit my child.
STOP has been working effectively for the last few months but now does not quite have the same impact. At the moment I am trying to teach Ella that when the animals are in their bed they are to be left well alone. She is so rough and it is only a matter of when the cat or dog will next strike. As I said STOP has been working perfectly, when that failed I have picked her up and placed her in her bedroom. Many tears. Now I say STOP, she looks at me and reaches over and grabs at the cat and tries to get as many pokes in the eye in before I get to her. I give her a smack on the hand(she laughs), pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. She now plays in her room and no tears. What to do???
I am currently reading a couple of books on the subject and find it as fun as chewing tinfoil as I am so not in to airy fairy bullocks.
I guess from here on in it will be difficult at times and everyday she will throw a new groove into the mix just incase I get too used to something. I guess at the moment she is too young to voice how she is feeling or explain the method to her madness.
By gum she has a hell of a temper on her. She has just started to 'Play'(which is so cute) she has this phone she talks into and then holds it out to you like 'its for you' I speak into it and give it back, on about the tenth phone call for me I say "No honey it is for YOU, you talk on the phone" God damn the reaction is like an explosion, tears, back arching as she really is trying to say the phone is not for her.
I no longer want to play that game.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
It has to be said, today I like this lady. Coming out in front of all and drawing attention to all the Mud slinging that has plagued parliament of late and to remind her collegues that they were resposible for a country. (pan camera to shocked looking collegues speech bubble appears "bugger I knew I was here for something"
Jeanette is only saying what we have all been thinking. In fact to be frank I have not been thinking terribly hard about our Politicians and their school ground bully tactics. I have just been so very very bored with all the and I have not even watched Parliamentry question time in months.(used to be a fav) I guess I had rolled over and was waiting with pants around ankles to be screwed over yet another stupid legislation or broken promise.
As our publicly elected representitives in Parliment, they are supposed to give us a voice. Our so called leaders and their actions and the way they have made me feel personally, is by far their greatest crime. How dare they take away my interest in how our county is run, steal my passion in the development of our nation for my family to grow up in. The bored me beyond caring. I sneer at all things remotely like reality tv, so even if we could vote off our MP's it would not make it more interesting for me.
I have been reading a few American blogs of late, I have zero comprehension of their political system(I have been trying to learn) but the thing that stands out most of all is that most people really care about what is happening to them. We just go day to day, lacking all hope that we can make a difference. We just give up, shrug our shoulders and she'll be right.
I fear it wont be. I do wish I was more clever to be able to make a difference.
At the moment media and the opposition is most concerned with digging up the dirt on all. In particular Investigate magazine, oh dear, Ian is single handedly wearing the ears of three of our politicians around his neck. Look who cares, do you want a bunch of insipid, dudley-do-rights running our country, Hell NO!! I want my fair share of dodgy rouge business operators, adulterous arse slapping wankers, hairy under armed organic pee drinking lesbians, child smacking sheep shagging farmers and men who do NOT have sexual relations with that woman.
Why? Because that is how it is, not all of us are as pure as the driven rain and the god honest truth is I want intelligent and interesting people running our country, not NICE people. Most of the successful people I know are arseholes who have left their boot marks on many a people to claw their way to the top of their game. But I still like them as long as it is not me with a foot print marking my face.
I do not want people running our country that basically buried a Carter Holt Harvey in a former life.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Hopefully minimal damage with few lives lost.
They told us most likely that even though Ella's temp skyrockets every month without fail at the exact time with no other cold or flu like symptoms that it is most likely a coincidence and she is just getting viral colds.
Even though it is always exactly one week before my period and even when the temp came one week early so did my period. This is once again a coincidence.
I am no doctor and I know nothing of the ins and out of the human body but I know nothing else on a four week schedual. To completely discount it seems a little narrow minded.
But having said that she is well again and who knows that may be the last one. To satisfy my own feelings I am now going to attempt to wean her as if I am passing on some hormones to her at that time of the month I would rather stop now. This could be a trying time.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I find that one I write things down it commits the knowlege more to memory. This is one of those wee dittys I hope to remember in about twelve years.
I was listening to a child psychologist on National Radion not long ago and although I did not agree with all that he said I found this bit fairly true and I had neverthought of it in this light.
Sorry I wish I knew his name so I could give credit but he said something along the lines of,
Imagine Great Uncle Harry lives with you and he is of course very old,senile,you name it. You take in a cup of tea and he tells you to fuck off and he that he does not need your help. I imagine you would just back off and that would be the end of it. Why then, when our teenage children say the same thing to us do we get so upset? We must remember that teenage years is more like a sickness than anything else as it does not resemble normal life or feelings just like Great uncle Harry. So we should learn to be a bit kinder to ourselves.
One of my least favourites would be Hughie on one of his appalling attempts at entertainment, imagine my disgust when I discovered he was a New Zealander. Anyway in waiting for Ainsley in Ready Steady I caught the tail end of his programme and he said something that was not too bad. His advice is as follows.
"Never let your children choose what they would like to eat for dinner unless they are buying"
Hughie for the first time ever you have taught me something useful.
Not that I have anything against Mummy's as they are a gorgeous bunch of ladies all up to their armpits in Napisan and coffee groups.
God, I hate coffee groups. Who invented coffee groups? Mr bushells, you clever clever bastard.
I think all of this thought just means that although I have a Mummy badge to stick on my stretch marked boob chest this does not mean I have lost all creative desire outside of making things for a smelly baby. I have so many ideas and always have so many projects on the go but I also need to learn, I feel I need to be part of a creative coven where I can be inspired by and truly have awe for. Motivation is a big part of it as I am always so very bloody tired. I have just started a course of vitamins so preparing for energy as we speak, or type or should it be read?
I have looked into a few courses at the local high school, it embarrases me to admit this....but.......I truly seem to have a problem with television. We do not have a video so taping my beloved programmes is not an option. I cannot choose which programmes not to watch, I am so very weak.......................................Damn your good looks Patrick Dempsey, curse that stupid island and who needs to watch that Hugh Laurie with a walking stick.........um yes that would be me.
Back in the Bath.
Out of the bath, dried off and heading to put on the next bag.
Before the bag goes on she piddles all over me.
Back in the bath.
Dried, finally got bag on, Ella is very chuffed at this point.
I decided not to put a nappy on as I had no succes before doing this way.
To calm the angry beast I gave her a treat and let her snuggle in and sleep on me, halfway through Antiques Roadshow I then discovered that the bag does not even get a teaspoon of fluid as my crotch wore the rest.
Off to the lab clutching urine sample and now to a blood test. I had not given the blood test much thought, I assumed it would be quick and easy as a normal blood test. My first indication of the degree of difficulty was when the nurses argued over whom was doing it as neither of them wanted to. Then a series of tornequets trying to find a vein without success and a very miserable child. Finally they stuck a needle down the side of her thumb and manually filled up some vials by milking the thumb drop by drop. Brutal.
Last night she finally slept throught the night. Yay! Pity I didn't.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Yesterday, some mad woman lets call her 'Beitch Trish' left a message on our answer phone asking us if we were attending the appointment or not. I called her straight back not more than five minutes after she left the message and she was SORRY but she had just given our appointment away and the next best thing she could do was slot us in for May!
I then explained that it had already been taken care of by a lovely Lady named Dot. Beitch Trish then said once again she was SORRY, not her fault and if someone else had done their job correctly there would be no problem and if I wished I could complain, then she hauls Dot to the phone to apologise directly. I was so embarressed for Dot as this Beitch Trish was clearly a workplace bully. I then explained to Dot I was not grumpy at her and could not be helped and then said that I hoped she was not going to be give a hard time by the bully. I could almost hear her grimace over the phone and she said 'yes, you are right, but leave it with me and I will call you back later'
I hate women like Trish constantly flustered over anything, everything is a huge problem, they feel it is all up to them to single handedly fix everthing, with no resources as no one else does their job as well as they do. They are the only employees to ever follow rules to the letter and if it is not in the manual it cannot be done.
Bless Dot she called the person whom our appointment had been given to and they agreed to go back to their old appointment one week later, what a star. I thank you both.
We are off to the Doctors again this morning as although Ella's Temp broke on Monday night she is still off her food and looks terrible, still cries most of the time and last night she broke out in a rash. Oh, I was cool for about five minutes then PANIC. You know stomach falling and hearing the blood pulse in your ears.
My first reaction of course was to firmly believe we were silly and how embarrasing it would be to rush her to hospital like overprotective parents.......Honestly , I need my head read. We decided a happy medium was to call the plunket hotline and they were fantastic and got the most amazing and informed Nurse to call and walk us through what we feared might be Menb. What a night.
Incidently the plunket 24hour hotline is 0800 933 933 you never know when you will need it and they also will put you through to other services that you may need but have no idea what the o800 is.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Friday night Murphys law bit me on the arse and we have been battling a sick shild ever since. She has slept in our bed for the last three nights whimpering and wriggling, she has never slept in our bed and as I had almost no sleep I do not wish her to sleep with us again.
I left a message for the hospital yesterday, I hope they can squeeze me back in.
Dumb Dumb Dumb
Thursday, March 09, 2006
To be honest I have not found any words lately that I would invite to join my vocabulary. To my dismay many authors in Particilar Mr Robert Jordon seem to just make up words willy nilly as I cannot find many of them in a normal source.
However this one that suits my mood
Maudlin - Foolishy or tearfully sentimental
Supposedly derived from Mary Magdalene in describing the depictions of her, paintings often reflecting sadness that was her life and often she was weeping in potraits. The story goes that the G was dropped and today the spelling of the word has followed the pronounciation.
In fact in centries past women who have fallen from grace was often referred to as Mawdelens and their babies known as Mawdlens
Stangely enough since the church no longer considers Mary Magdelen a woman of easy virtue she is now the patron saint of repentant sinners. Her feast day is July 22nd.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Cunning, me thinks.
We had joy we had fun eating bogeys in the sun..but the sun got too hot and the bogeys turned to snot!
If today is the standard for the coming days weather wise then these Sunflowers may be the last of my golden summer.
As I have said our weekend was fabulous in Nelson and the Mid-simmer like temperatures was no exception. Thankfully we missed the obvious terrible weather that happened in our absence. We came home to find my garden in rack and ruin with sunflowers uprooted and severed and I had to desperately slash broken stalks to rescue the sunny blooms.
These Sunflowers have been amazing, I love the rich amber hue rather than just canary yellow. There has been up to 50 flowers on the one stalk. Of course it is all due to my horticultural prowess. I have been calling these Ella's sunflowers as I hope to every year grow some of the seeds and enjoy them all over again. Not to mention forcing them all on friends and family as cheap but heartfelt presents.
I do not know where you are but today, but where I am, there is autumn in the air. I actually had to stop pegging the clothes on the line so I could warm my fingers. I also cursed my choice of footwear as the grass needs a mow and was sodden with cold dew. It feels too early, it was only yesterday jandals and flip flops seemed the right attire.
I am not ready to loose summer, I have been so busy over the last year time seems to have gone without the courtesy of a goodbye. Enough moaning as I have much to do, with the onslaught of winter I have much preparation to be done in my garden as of yet I have found no one else to do it. Sigh, must clean windows as I have been meaning to do this since spring, oh well it will happen.
We have just returned from a fabulous wee holiday in Nelson where we celebrated our Ella-Raines first birthday.
Loads of friends who spoilt her rotten, in fact we nearly did not have enough room in the car for the journey home with all the hoard.
Look at the cake, Nana spent absolute hours on this cake but unfortunately Ella did not seem very thankful at all. Both Ballons and Bear cake terrified the hell out of her.
We had such a lovely time with our friends up there, I must admit to be wondering why we live so far away.
Oh could it be the high price of Real Estate coupled with the very low wage. Sadly yes. I had a look at the local property press while I was there and found it very depressing as they are are calling 300k a first home buyers range. That is double what we payed for our home and we can barely afford the repayments as it is let alone double them. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
I have lost some things that can never be replaced, first photos of my new born baby, first noises, snoring, giggles, wee pick me ups if ever I needed one and now all gone.