Just when you start to think that you ankles look pretty hot in these new parenting shoes some bugger tries to bite your nipple off!
Baby Bobbit we shall call the previously mentioned bugger. I have always been pro breast feeding in fact I even did a breast feeding course and even managed to get CH there(major achievement and to his credit he fully encourages other men to go). I will not even begin to tell you how hard I found it but the end result is I now love it and believe it nurtures an amazing bond between mother and child. Poppy has always been a shit to feed, always preferred the drive in option, no time for pissing about, used to clench and bite when the letdown was not fast enough, if I talked to someone, if the TV was too loud, if somebody moved……you name it. In complete contrast is Ella, whom I fed until she was well over one and only stopped because I was pregnant, she was a joy to feed. People often asked me how I fed through teething and how I coped with biting of a child so old. My face would cringe a little, grasp my boob and have that knowing look……..quietly thinking I must be a double hard bastard…………….I now know this to be complete Mock disdain. All those little nips and clenches were nothing.
Currently there is a nipple disguised as a ‘Nurple’ on my boob, Anyone missing a overripe plum? This is not mild discomfort, this so sore I cannot sleep on that side. The worst of it is, she has her favourite one to bite and as hard as it is to continues feeding, the little sod keeps doing it, I am almost in the fetal position just thinking about it. I now have to be vigilant and watch everything that little mouth is doing for the moment the milk stop flowing she eyeballs me adjusts her grip then CHOMP. It is like Russian roulette, can I get my finger in her mouth and release suction quicker than she can stay in for a bite to eat. The looks she gives is priceless.
She is feeding less and less and I do wonder if she is self weaning, I cannot say I am ready yet but in truth I do not think you ever are, I still give Ella a bottle at night just for the closeness and to have her stay in the one spot for more than a minute.
Well only a couple more hours until the next feed........................................cringe
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
oh well
Do a search on Whakatane, CH suggests.................................................. look what I found
Black Power agrees to ban patches in town
Photo : NZPA
Black Power leaders and police have reached a landmark agreement for the gang to "colour down" in an effort to reduce gang tensions in Whakatane.
The accord follows a violent street battle that erupted between about 30 Black Power members and Opotiki Mongrel Mob members in downtown Kopeopeo on June 28.
A sword, knives, wooden bats and planks of wood were used as weapons in the vicious all-in brawl, which took place amid crowds of schoolchildren making their way home.
It began after patched Mongrel Mob members gathered in Kopeopeo to await the release of a body of one of their members from a funeral parlour.
Local Black Power members took exception to their presence and display of gang regalia leading to a violent clash.
Senior Sergeant Bruce Jenkins, of the Whakatane police, said they were also aware of "further simmering of tensions" last weekend in central Whakatane, involving local and out-of-town gang members outside bars late at night.
Whakatane has for many years been known as a Black Power town, while outlying areas, including Taneatua and Kawerau, are Mongrel Mob strongholds.
Mr Jenkins said that following the Kopeopeo brawl, police and Black Power hierarchy had come together in an endeavour to prevent any more violence and quell tensions.
All members of the gang had agreed to ban the wearing of patches, bandannas and other regalia while in town.
Opotiki police had held similar talks with the Opotiki Mongrel Mob about the June 28 incident.
The agreement did not go as far as one in Wanganui, where the district council had moved to create a bylaw to ban gang regalia and colours from the central business district and all other public places in the city.
Mr Jenkins said the agreement to colour down would go a long way to making Whakatane a safer place, enabling Black Power to maintain a passive presence and be part of the community, without creating friction.
"This effectively means Whakatane is a patch and gang regalia free town, which outsiders also need to take notice of."
Police were also working to identify and address the underlying causes of last weekend's tensions and had called another meeting with local gang leaders to help speed the constructive dialogue between all parties.
Mr Jenkins said police had impressed on the gangs the need to take a more mature and responsible attitude and not resort to violence as a means of settling their differences.
"Things have been working well up until recently and we want to restore any mutual understanding or unwritten rules that have been in place, which has seen very little gang tension over the past few years.
"A gang war in Whakatane would have a huge social and economic impact. Both gangs need to step back and let the police do their job. This includes staying away from town if they can't help but taunt each other.
Police would also visit local bars and licensees, in an endeavour to identify and trespass any troublemakers.
"Both sides need to get a very clear message -- that anyone found stepping out of line will be dealt with very firmly by the police."
Four Black Power gang members were arrested following the June 28 fracas and charged with rioting, participating in an organised criminal group, possession of offensive weapons, obstructing police and resisting arrest.
They have appeared in Whakatane District Court and remanded on bail to July 17.
BUGGER
Black Power agrees to ban patches in town
Photo : NZPA
Black Power leaders and police have reached a landmark agreement for the gang to "colour down" in an effort to reduce gang tensions in Whakatane.
The accord follows a violent street battle that erupted between about 30 Black Power members and Opotiki Mongrel Mob members in downtown Kopeopeo on June 28.
A sword, knives, wooden bats and planks of wood were used as weapons in the vicious all-in brawl, which took place amid crowds of schoolchildren making their way home.
It began after patched Mongrel Mob members gathered in Kopeopeo to await the release of a body of one of their members from a funeral parlour.
Local Black Power members took exception to their presence and display of gang regalia leading to a violent clash.
Senior Sergeant Bruce Jenkins, of the Whakatane police, said they were also aware of "further simmering of tensions" last weekend in central Whakatane, involving local and out-of-town gang members outside bars late at night.
Whakatane has for many years been known as a Black Power town, while outlying areas, including Taneatua and Kawerau, are Mongrel Mob strongholds.
Mr Jenkins said that following the Kopeopeo brawl, police and Black Power hierarchy had come together in an endeavour to prevent any more violence and quell tensions.
All members of the gang had agreed to ban the wearing of patches, bandannas and other regalia while in town.
Opotiki police had held similar talks with the Opotiki Mongrel Mob about the June 28 incident.
The agreement did not go as far as one in Wanganui, where the district council had moved to create a bylaw to ban gang regalia and colours from the central business district and all other public places in the city.
Mr Jenkins said the agreement to colour down would go a long way to making Whakatane a safer place, enabling Black Power to maintain a passive presence and be part of the community, without creating friction.
"This effectively means Whakatane is a patch and gang regalia free town, which outsiders also need to take notice of."
Police were also working to identify and address the underlying causes of last weekend's tensions and had called another meeting with local gang leaders to help speed the constructive dialogue between all parties.
Mr Jenkins said police had impressed on the gangs the need to take a more mature and responsible attitude and not resort to violence as a means of settling their differences.
"Things have been working well up until recently and we want to restore any mutual understanding or unwritten rules that have been in place, which has seen very little gang tension over the past few years.
"A gang war in Whakatane would have a huge social and economic impact. Both gangs need to step back and let the police do their job. This includes staying away from town if they can't help but taunt each other.
Police would also visit local bars and licensees, in an endeavour to identify and trespass any troublemakers.
"Both sides need to get a very clear message -- that anyone found stepping out of line will be dealt with very firmly by the police."
Four Black Power gang members were arrested following the June 28 fracas and charged with rioting, participating in an organised criminal group, possession of offensive weapons, obstructing police and resisting arrest.
They have appeared in Whakatane District Court and remanded on bail to July 17.
BUGGER
If if's and but were lollies and nuts it would be blooming Christmas every day.
Well no news is good news huh! Not fecking likely girls. All it really means is that someone somewhere is pissing about. I am lost again with no direction and we all know this means disaster for the next poor bastard I get ahold of.
This Whakatane business is driving me insane to the point of infiltrating my dreams. I give it so little respect I cannot even get the name right half the time and keep referring to it as Wanganui, which apparently is vastly different............................................ARSE. Fuckatane.
This Whakatane business is driving me insane to the point of infiltrating my dreams. I give it so little respect I cannot even get the name right half the time and keep referring to it as Wanganui, which apparently is vastly different............................................ARSE. Fuckatane.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The round up
I perhaps have neglected to mention a thing or two.
Firstly I have been toddler free for almost a week as Grandma took Ella to Wellington. I with not a shadow of exaggeration have had a abslolute ball, loving every separated minute. That in itself has been the source of much guilt but to be kind to myself I really needed the break as the little bugger was wearing me down. It has taken a week to get back on track and it has been amazing just being able to focus on my little Poppy, we have had the most lovely time and she has made me smile all week. She is going through that incredibly cuddly stage and just looks at you with her big baby blues with unconditional love and smiles and giggles at everything you do.
I have also chopped all my hair off and dyed it black, to those who know me from old it is like welcoming an old friend to my new friends it is one hell of a shock. I think it looks quite good but more importantly I feel more like I am a new and improved, repackaged model of an old and warty mother.
What do you know about Whakatane? CH has been asked to consider transferring to the north island to futher his career and look after three stores in the Bay of Plenty. I have reservations.
I do not know what is more unnerving, going to The Bay of Plenty or the fact I have reservations. I never have reservations about moving. I love to move and change and have always looked forward to new things with excitement. This time however it is making my skin crawl. What to do, what to do. It could be not having confidence in myself, it could be some silly hormones running through my body, it could be being tired and anxious.
Which makes me wonder about when should our bodies be all systems running well after child birth and breast feeding? Is there a time frame? We are all told things about post natal depression and the like but is there other times you should know about when your hormones try hang you? I have not been very well for a few months now so I am looking at changing a thing or two to see if I can make a difference. Every morning I am having a fruit non dairy spiralina smoothy with flaxseed oil and attempting to do more exercise as well as a good womens multi and lastly a big increase of vegetables and whole grains. It has only been a week so very early days but a positive step none the less.
Sleep is also a big issue and until last week I had not slept more than three hours in one stint in well over16 months. I have had some really strange experiences of late and wondering if somehow I can put it down to not sleeping. Poppy as you know is an horrific sleeper and will cry all night, on a bad night every twenty minutes until about 3am. We have tried many many things. Last week we went to the Doctor to once again see if there is anything wrong or alternatives like cranial minipulation. We left like two stunned mullets as in our hands we had a bottle of sedative. We both felt a little unhinged about using it but decided that to keep our family stong we had to get sleep. That night we got it out and found a syringe to measure the appropriate amount and got ready to use it.
The little bugger slept through! only until 4am but SHE SLEPT THROUGH! and she has done so every night since! The best thing we ever did was threatening her with sedation. I am glad we did not use it but also wary and relieved we have it just in case this new wonder does not last.
Firstly I have been toddler free for almost a week as Grandma took Ella to Wellington. I with not a shadow of exaggeration have had a abslolute ball, loving every separated minute. That in itself has been the source of much guilt but to be kind to myself I really needed the break as the little bugger was wearing me down. It has taken a week to get back on track and it has been amazing just being able to focus on my little Poppy, we have had the most lovely time and she has made me smile all week. She is going through that incredibly cuddly stage and just looks at you with her big baby blues with unconditional love and smiles and giggles at everything you do.
I have also chopped all my hair off and dyed it black, to those who know me from old it is like welcoming an old friend to my new friends it is one hell of a shock. I think it looks quite good but more importantly I feel more like I am a new and improved, repackaged model of an old and warty mother.
What do you know about Whakatane? CH has been asked to consider transferring to the north island to futher his career and look after three stores in the Bay of Plenty. I have reservations.
I do not know what is more unnerving, going to The Bay of Plenty or the fact I have reservations. I never have reservations about moving. I love to move and change and have always looked forward to new things with excitement. This time however it is making my skin crawl. What to do, what to do. It could be not having confidence in myself, it could be some silly hormones running through my body, it could be being tired and anxious.
Which makes me wonder about when should our bodies be all systems running well after child birth and breast feeding? Is there a time frame? We are all told things about post natal depression and the like but is there other times you should know about when your hormones try hang you? I have not been very well for a few months now so I am looking at changing a thing or two to see if I can make a difference. Every morning I am having a fruit non dairy spiralina smoothy with flaxseed oil and attempting to do more exercise as well as a good womens multi and lastly a big increase of vegetables and whole grains. It has only been a week so very early days but a positive step none the less.
Sleep is also a big issue and until last week I had not slept more than three hours in one stint in well over16 months. I have had some really strange experiences of late and wondering if somehow I can put it down to not sleeping. Poppy as you know is an horrific sleeper and will cry all night, on a bad night every twenty minutes until about 3am. We have tried many many things. Last week we went to the Doctor to once again see if there is anything wrong or alternatives like cranial minipulation. We left like two stunned mullets as in our hands we had a bottle of sedative. We both felt a little unhinged about using it but decided that to keep our family stong we had to get sleep. That night we got it out and found a syringe to measure the appropriate amount and got ready to use it.
The little bugger slept through! only until 4am but SHE SLEPT THROUGH! and she has done so every night since! The best thing we ever did was threatening her with sedation. I am glad we did not use it but also wary and relieved we have it just in case this new wonder does not last.
Its a sign
31 years old, to some it would be a milestone they reached in their youth and to others an impossibly distant middle age, for me it will go down in my history book as the year my nasal hair kicked in.
I have often looked at my husband nose and more often that not there is a thick black hair trying hard to escape and I even thoughtfully purchased him a lovely matt silver nasal trimmer for christmas one year. Reminds me of one of my favourite childhood books 'The Twits'
I cannot even say my nose is even close to that but is it only a matter of time? You see I have bogey nose of late it could be the result of having a cold for nearly a solid two months but the other day I hopped into my car, checked the rear mirror and was something was grinning back at me from up my nose! How long had it been there? Why had I not felt it? Son of a biscuit I must have a bush up my nose to hold up something and defy gravity like that! am I now going to be the 'bogey woman?' You know we all make names up for others we do not take the time to learn their names, mostly unkind in nature like 'Smelly woman' or 'winge woman'
Nope...........................no................................OCD here...............................not a whif of it.................
I have often looked at my husband nose and more often that not there is a thick black hair trying hard to escape and I even thoughtfully purchased him a lovely matt silver nasal trimmer for christmas one year. Reminds me of one of my favourite childhood books 'The Twits'
I cannot even say my nose is even close to that but is it only a matter of time? You see I have bogey nose of late it could be the result of having a cold for nearly a solid two months but the other day I hopped into my car, checked the rear mirror and was something was grinning back at me from up my nose! How long had it been there? Why had I not felt it? Son of a biscuit I must have a bush up my nose to hold up something and defy gravity like that! am I now going to be the 'bogey woman?' You know we all make names up for others we do not take the time to learn their names, mostly unkind in nature like 'Smelly woman' or 'winge woman'
Nope...........................no................................OCD here...............................not a whif of it.................
Robots in disguiseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Autobots TRANSFORM! roars fricking master of all Optimus Prime,
Megatron and his mentalist Decepticons are in range of the Energon Cube, allowing said baddies to obtain the cube will mean genocide for mankind!
Oh my gosh I am such a geek, I loved this movie. The best action flick I have seen in sometime. Real apple pie and punch the air stuff, but fantastic. The CGI was amazing, really funny too.
You gotta go. Even just to escape the drudges of the everyday go and immerse your self in warm buttery popcorn goodness.
Megatron and his mentalist Decepticons are in range of the Energon Cube, allowing said baddies to obtain the cube will mean genocide for mankind!
Oh my gosh I am such a geek, I loved this movie. The best action flick I have seen in sometime. Real apple pie and punch the air stuff, but fantastic. The CGI was amazing, really funny too.
You gotta go. Even just to escape the drudges of the everyday go and immerse your self in warm buttery popcorn goodness.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Fast cars
I also heard that The Christchurch City council is thinking about passing a curfew in four streets in the city in order to stop young hoons from driving their fast cars and congregating and setting hedges on fire.
I have plans on driving down those same streets then sueing for discrimination for not being young and cool enough for the police to stop, Sigh.
I have plans on driving down those same streets then sueing for discrimination for not being young and cool enough for the police to stop, Sigh.
Rockstar Popstar
Butter would not melt eh? Of course it would not melt as she would most likely spit it in your eye then tell you where to ram it!Still not sleeping through the night, not even showing signs of trying to. Boy, the girl is a screamer, the stamina and will power is quite something.
Just as well my love is neverending, you have gotta love a Mothers bond, simply amazing. I am still in awe.
Responsible driving
Sleep easy tonight friends for earlier today I heard upon the news that The Catholic Church has released new commandments in regards to driving. They are now encouraging people NOT to drink and drive...................why were they encouraging them previously! Or perhaps it is like encouraging priests not to interfere with altar boys and girls...................................yeah cause that worked well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next they will be partaking in the blood ribena for communion.
Futhermore Catholics should pray while driving, bit of a bugger for me as if I am doing some serious praying my eyes are closed, I suppose that would be called blind faith, devine intervention or even the hand of god to get me through a round about with my eyes closed! Could improve my driving.
Parishioners should also make the sign of the cross before going on a journey, sounds good, in practice, but I think I will continue to wait for an opportunity to wind down the window and really show how cross I am!
Futhermore Catholics should pray while driving, bit of a bugger for me as if I am doing some serious praying my eyes are closed, I suppose that would be called blind faith, devine intervention or even the hand of god to get me through a round about with my eyes closed! Could improve my driving.
Parishioners should also make the sign of the cross before going on a journey, sounds good, in practice, but I think I will continue to wait for an opportunity to wind down the window and really show how cross I am!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Ahhhh family
At what point do relatively normal females suddenly become smelly old women? I say this mostly tongue in cheek with only a sliver of actual fear. After all I once found it completely disgusting to wear anything other than little bits of lace with anal floss for knickers, at least all those watching our attempt at the America’s Cup will sleep easy knowing that if Team New Zealand drop a spinnaker they can knock on my door and borrow my undies.
I have just has my mother stay the week just gone and no disrespect intended BUT she smells. Now I am not talking about bad hygiene but they ability to drop the most silent and violent farts that I have ever smelt! To venture into the necessity room after one little visit from my mum took an act of courage or immense urgency, I swear to you that in that room there is a smell that would outlast digital television. A whole week of getting little powder puffs of arse vomit, I am truly blessed. I swear if she stayed for much longer, Ella's next sentence will soon be ‘Eugh…cough…choke..what the feck is that?!!!!!’
At least at times she did take the hint and farted outside of the vehicle but for the love of god they followed her in!
I have been thinking back from when I lived with my mum and I am sure she was not all that bad. Her diet certainly has not changed as she still enjoys the same god awful menu of boiled steak, boiled cabbage (with baking soda to ensure limp mush) and boiled spuds. I am sure she was not all that abrasive to my nostrils last visit so it must happened around the age of 65. From the smells of it, at that point your insides start rotting.
I think something similar seems to happen to Asian women. I see many young and beautiful women and dehydrated old crones not too many of the in between transition. Do they just go to sleep young and wake old and warty? Is there an ugly pill that gets handed out when the fail the ole boob pencil test? Do they hide? Where are they?
If you want to know where my Mum is just follow the stench.
I have just has my mother stay the week just gone and no disrespect intended BUT she smells. Now I am not talking about bad hygiene but they ability to drop the most silent and violent farts that I have ever smelt! To venture into the necessity room after one little visit from my mum took an act of courage or immense urgency, I swear to you that in that room there is a smell that would outlast digital television. A whole week of getting little powder puffs of arse vomit, I am truly blessed. I swear if she stayed for much longer, Ella's next sentence will soon be ‘Eugh…cough…choke..what the feck is that?!!!!!’
At least at times she did take the hint and farted outside of the vehicle but for the love of god they followed her in!
I have been thinking back from when I lived with my mum and I am sure she was not all that bad. Her diet certainly has not changed as she still enjoys the same god awful menu of boiled steak, boiled cabbage (with baking soda to ensure limp mush) and boiled spuds. I am sure she was not all that abrasive to my nostrils last visit so it must happened around the age of 65. From the smells of it, at that point your insides start rotting.
I think something similar seems to happen to Asian women. I see many young and beautiful women and dehydrated old crones not too many of the in between transition. Do they just go to sleep young and wake old and warty? Is there an ugly pill that gets handed out when the fail the ole boob pencil test? Do they hide? Where are they?
If you want to know where my Mum is just follow the stench.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
S.M.S.A (save my sorry arse)
Yes no blogs. Reason, whole family has been ill over the last month, most likely the plague.
Obviously not the plague as that might deter family visits.
Currently using subtofuge and skull duggery to type this blog, only another week to go and my crazyness will be gone much like my family.
Obviously not the plague as that might deter family visits.
Currently using subtofuge and skull duggery to type this blog, only another week to go and my crazyness will be gone much like my family.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Turbo powers are GO!!
Yes ladies, I did threaten it. I had been flirting with infomercials for some time now and had fully convinced myself that the number one phenomenon in exercise was for me. TURBO JAM! and bugger me but it is not all that bad.
Thus far I have exercised five days in the past six. Truly unheard of in my world. The real eye opener is that I did know I was unfit but I will still holding on to a glimmer of hope that it would not be all that bad. It was so much worse.
Day one, I watched the learner sequence that showed you how to do the eleven moves used in the workout. I could not make it past the learning for not only is my coordination shot but I was a sweating gibbering mess by the end of the learning section.
Day Two, Success I completed the first fifteen minutes learning and graduated on to a fifteen minute workout.
It has continued and now I can do most of the moves and put them together in a almost exercise like manner. I am encouraged with how quickly things get easier, So all in all coming together nicely my next hurdle is how to gag whingeing children.
Not changing my diet yet and focusing on getting mobile.
A good friend said to me recently something along the lines of "If you change nothing in your life then how can your life change" Well said and point taken.
Also wanting to do a Triathalon, well baby steps huh!
Thus far I have exercised five days in the past six. Truly unheard of in my world. The real eye opener is that I did know I was unfit but I will still holding on to a glimmer of hope that it would not be all that bad. It was so much worse.
Day one, I watched the learner sequence that showed you how to do the eleven moves used in the workout. I could not make it past the learning for not only is my coordination shot but I was a sweating gibbering mess by the end of the learning section.
Day Two, Success I completed the first fifteen minutes learning and graduated on to a fifteen minute workout.
It has continued and now I can do most of the moves and put them together in a almost exercise like manner. I am encouraged with how quickly things get easier, So all in all coming together nicely my next hurdle is how to gag whingeing children.
Not changing my diet yet and focusing on getting mobile.
A good friend said to me recently something along the lines of "If you change nothing in your life then how can your life change" Well said and point taken.
Also wanting to do a Triathalon, well baby steps huh!
Play group drama
I knew it was too good to be true, a gaggle of girls meeting once a week and not having bitchy catfights. It happened yesterday and I was not even involved but still I feel the discomfort. Thats the problem, ever since I had my babies my empathy is off the charts and I simply cannot handle others hurt. Particulary when a bully is involved.
You hear of Mother's Group bullies, I have actually been witness to one before and then as per usual I chose to get the hell out Dodge. This is normally fairly easy for me to cut ties with little coffee groups, in the past I really have not wanted to attend so it has been an easy and predictable out. This however is different as there is many women here that I truly like and do not want to bail because it is too hard. Besides I bet it will have blown over in a week or two.
Coffee group ettiquitte is quite complex with many unwritten boundries that differ from group to group. Hell the hell, do you as learner parent stand a chance against a coffee weary veteran in a confrontation. You can always tell the ladies who for years frequent these dens of the instant blend. They are the ones who always have their crappy stained clothes on(because they have learned not to wear their best like new Mummies and besides are so comfortable with who they are and how they parent), their children always have their nose crusted in snot and usually have a shitty nappy which is laughed off, they are not phased by their child bonking kiddies on the head and only laugh when some other child steals their kids lunch.
Ah so much to learn, I am not even close to being at that stage but am slowly getting there. I remember a time when I would throw stern accusing looks at snotty nosed children, MY CHILD MIGHT CATCH A COLD! or the first time another child pushed my first born, now it is my child pushing others, mainly where food is involved of course. The way she eats at playgroup is just embarrassing, but that is another story. In fact I think it was commented today that perhaps Ella should have her own table to give others a fighting chance of eating something.
OH the shame! ya see I still need my training wheels
You hear of Mother's Group bullies, I have actually been witness to one before and then as per usual I chose to get the hell out Dodge. This is normally fairly easy for me to cut ties with little coffee groups, in the past I really have not wanted to attend so it has been an easy and predictable out. This however is different as there is many women here that I truly like and do not want to bail because it is too hard. Besides I bet it will have blown over in a week or two.
Coffee group ettiquitte is quite complex with many unwritten boundries that differ from group to group. Hell the hell, do you as learner parent stand a chance against a coffee weary veteran in a confrontation. You can always tell the ladies who for years frequent these dens of the instant blend. They are the ones who always have their crappy stained clothes on(because they have learned not to wear their best like new Mummies and besides are so comfortable with who they are and how they parent), their children always have their nose crusted in snot and usually have a shitty nappy which is laughed off, they are not phased by their child bonking kiddies on the head and only laugh when some other child steals their kids lunch.
Ah so much to learn, I am not even close to being at that stage but am slowly getting there. I remember a time when I would throw stern accusing looks at snotty nosed children, MY CHILD MIGHT CATCH A COLD! or the first time another child pushed my first born, now it is my child pushing others, mainly where food is involved of course. The way she eats at playgroup is just embarrassing, but that is another story. In fact I think it was commented today that perhaps Ella should have her own table to give others a fighting chance of eating something.
OH the shame! ya see I still need my training wheels
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Do you have a secret friend? I did. Someone who is so special that upon my most wakeful hours I can retreat into the depths of my mind and have adventures or seek comfort. Someone who is so high upon a pedestal that they have aged only as you have wanted and imagined them to. Someone who can look into your eyes and only see the goodness of your soul. A fantastic friendship, one not tarnished by sexual innuendo and really if at all honest completely made up. This one however is very much alive.......................... and yet is very dead to me.
Normally I am thankful of such a wistful imagination but today I am just haunted. I dreamt of said person last night, which is quite normal but this time was very different. Normally my dreams are fun, full of laughs and interesting times. In my dreams I always meet with this person and I imagine myself from years ago completely untarnished by the years. This time I was myself in all my old, warty, worn and wrinkled glory. It was horrible. I felt exsposed and as embarressed as if I had just pissed my pants halfway through a important job interview.
In my dream in my cringeful state, we had a conversation. One of those honest converstations that completely rapes you with reality. I feel like I have lost something with no chance of getting it back. I do not want to move on but want to keep things in my head behind glass with a sign that says 'Do not touch, display only!'
I suspect this comes from my period returning. It seems to signal the end of the birth experience with Poppy. The fact that I could indeed get pregnant again makes me feel somehow disloyal to Poppy. Like the cord finally being severed. I guess I am very aware of how quickly my baby is growing and will soon be a toddler. I am also aware that this baby will be the last I have. It does make me a little sad. It is all just stupid hormones I guess but has given me an odd uneven feeling.
Normally I am thankful of such a wistful imagination but today I am just haunted. I dreamt of said person last night, which is quite normal but this time was very different. Normally my dreams are fun, full of laughs and interesting times. In my dreams I always meet with this person and I imagine myself from years ago completely untarnished by the years. This time I was myself in all my old, warty, worn and wrinkled glory. It was horrible. I felt exsposed and as embarressed as if I had just pissed my pants halfway through a important job interview.
In my dream in my cringeful state, we had a conversation. One of those honest converstations that completely rapes you with reality. I feel like I have lost something with no chance of getting it back. I do not want to move on but want to keep things in my head behind glass with a sign that says 'Do not touch, display only!'
I suspect this comes from my period returning. It seems to signal the end of the birth experience with Poppy. The fact that I could indeed get pregnant again makes me feel somehow disloyal to Poppy. Like the cord finally being severed. I guess I am very aware of how quickly my baby is growing and will soon be a toddler. I am also aware that this baby will be the last I have. It does make me a little sad. It is all just stupid hormones I guess but has given me an odd uneven feeling.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Well honey lets put on my $5 hooker shoes we are going out on a date
To all ye hard working Mum's out there, rejoice as all is not lost...................unlike my waistline.
It is Monday, all day. Unlike most previous Monday's I can actually stand on my soapbox and shout that I had a fricken fantastic, completely reckless, debauched and irresponsible weekend.
Go on, ask me how my weekend was.................
I am not going to tell you all of the sordid details in the hope of keeping your lunch down. Today is CH's Birthday and he is a young 36 with only minor crumbling around the edges. This year I wanted to do something special but my choices were fairly limited. I wanted to actually relax with my CH and just enjoy each other without the responsibility of the day to day. I thought about many things, vineyard tours, fishing but in the end I felt we would be spending all out time driving to places as we could not be away for the night due to Poppy still getting up in the early hours.
I came up with the idea of a day stay in a hotel. I was completely embarressed ringing around the hotels to see if they did such a thing as 'Daystays' I felt like the wicked whore of Babylon and the thought of checking in had me cringeing. In fact when ringing around I actually made out that I was doing it on someone elses belhalf, I am such a geek. Really what does it matter what other people think "Yeah, sure that is your husband!" wink wink You would have thought that perhaps on some level that it would be a bit exciting to check in and have someone think that you were a working lady(or the fact people would pay to have sex with you!) but no, mostly discomfort.
I had CH convinced we were going on one of those god awlful shared lunches with a bunch of people you have never met, so you can imagine how happy he was with that. I actually organised his parents to come over for the weekend and even when they arrived I acted dumb, definately Oscar winning performance. His parents said they could come to the picnic but had to be in kaikoura by two so off went CH and I to get supplies for the picnic. We stopped at Couplands and got a couple of snacks and went to the counter with CH spouting off how it would never be enough and we needed more before we could go home. Instead of reacting as I normally would I said, ' honey, we are not going home.' He was so confused and said what are we going to take on the picnic. I replied in a calm relaxed tone 'honey we are not going on a picnic' I then gave him directions to the hotel and he was looking all anxious and going on about how we could not stay all night, who would feed Poppy?........................You CAN'T stay just for a couple of hours!!...........are YOU mad!...........I am in a sign written vehicle!.......... it was such a laugh, he would not check in with me as he was bashful.
The hotel was lovely, a good sized spa for two, Sky movies, good food, wine and lovely crisp sheets to mess up. To finish off the night we went out for a meal but I cannot say that that was a highlight but to spend so much time with each other, it was just lovely. I would not change my life thus far for anything but it was grand just to put it on hold for half a day.
I reccommend this for any of you out there.
It is Monday, all day. Unlike most previous Monday's I can actually stand on my soapbox and shout that I had a fricken fantastic, completely reckless, debauched and irresponsible weekend.
Go on, ask me how my weekend was.................
I am not going to tell you all of the sordid details in the hope of keeping your lunch down. Today is CH's Birthday and he is a young 36 with only minor crumbling around the edges. This year I wanted to do something special but my choices were fairly limited. I wanted to actually relax with my CH and just enjoy each other without the responsibility of the day to day. I thought about many things, vineyard tours, fishing but in the end I felt we would be spending all out time driving to places as we could not be away for the night due to Poppy still getting up in the early hours.
I came up with the idea of a day stay in a hotel. I was completely embarressed ringing around the hotels to see if they did such a thing as 'Daystays' I felt like the wicked whore of Babylon and the thought of checking in had me cringeing. In fact when ringing around I actually made out that I was doing it on someone elses belhalf, I am such a geek. Really what does it matter what other people think "Yeah, sure that is your husband!" wink wink You would have thought that perhaps on some level that it would be a bit exciting to check in and have someone think that you were a working lady(or the fact people would pay to have sex with you!) but no, mostly discomfort.
I had CH convinced we were going on one of those god awlful shared lunches with a bunch of people you have never met, so you can imagine how happy he was with that. I actually organised his parents to come over for the weekend and even when they arrived I acted dumb, definately Oscar winning performance. His parents said they could come to the picnic but had to be in kaikoura by two so off went CH and I to get supplies for the picnic. We stopped at Couplands and got a couple of snacks and went to the counter with CH spouting off how it would never be enough and we needed more before we could go home. Instead of reacting as I normally would I said, ' honey, we are not going home.' He was so confused and said what are we going to take on the picnic. I replied in a calm relaxed tone 'honey we are not going on a picnic' I then gave him directions to the hotel and he was looking all anxious and going on about how we could not stay all night, who would feed Poppy?........................You CAN'T stay just for a couple of hours!!...........are YOU mad!...........I am in a sign written vehicle!.......... it was such a laugh, he would not check in with me as he was bashful.
The hotel was lovely, a good sized spa for two, Sky movies, good food, wine and lovely crisp sheets to mess up. To finish off the night we went out for a meal but I cannot say that that was a highlight but to spend so much time with each other, it was just lovely. I would not change my life thus far for anything but it was grand just to put it on hold for half a day.
I reccommend this for any of you out there.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
No more morning tv for me
I got a couple of comments last week about my weight. It is true I have lost a couple of pounds since I had that god awlful bug and I did do weight watchers for four days nearly a month ago. Then why do I denounce the fact and hush it up or mumble something incomprehensible and pretend to look at something very interesting under my fingernails. So perhaps I should learn to take the comments as how they were given as surely one of the reasons why you loose weight is so people notice.
It seems to have had the opposite effect and sent me ears pinned back, head first into the human equivelent of pigs swill. I want to loose the weight I really do, infact I was nearly suckered into a informercial about an exercise dvd called TURBO JAM! Perhaps it had something to do with JAM in the title. Damn your subliminal advertising and ab waggling ways.
So my exercise this week will be accepting compliments graciously. Well provided I actually do something worth complimenting. That in itself should be the exercise du jour. I need a token American friend for a week as they as a nation seem to excel in this area. Aussies, need not apply as the key word here team is 'Graciously'
It seems to have had the opposite effect and sent me ears pinned back, head first into the human equivelent of pigs swill. I want to loose the weight I really do, infact I was nearly suckered into a informercial about an exercise dvd called TURBO JAM! Perhaps it had something to do with JAM in the title. Damn your subliminal advertising and ab waggling ways.
So my exercise this week will be accepting compliments graciously. Well provided I actually do something worth complimenting. That in itself should be the exercise du jour. I need a token American friend for a week as they as a nation seem to excel in this area. Aussies, need not apply as the key word here team is 'Graciously'
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Mamma Mamma MAMMA mamma MUM!!!! mamma mamma mamma mammma MAMMA MAMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
It is true what they say about hurting those we love the most. How to you stop?
I cannot believe how intolerant I am these days. I seem to be angry about everything. Poor Ella, yes, she is being naughty in places but there are also the times that she really does not mean to tip milo on the carpet three times in a row, in fact it is my fault for letting her have it in a cup. But still she gets the telling off and the classic 'BE CAREFUL' I am so sick of saying that and getting the tongue clicking Tsk Tsk parroted back at me!
There is a moment before I react to something she has done, it is crystal clear and if there was parenting Olympics I would win gold.................but most of the time that bubble bursts and I react with 70's classic parenting style, all yelling, angry, saying hurtful things like go away or even a smack on a well padded nappy.
The biggest thing that sends me over the edge is a habit Ella and most likely all children have of her age and that is repeatedly saying Mamma over and over the worst of it is that she continues until I hold eye contact and then two seconds later it is the same. All blooming day. My only respite is eating and TV.
I always feel so bad when I yell at her that I always try to make it up in some way for example when she got up I put the baby to sleep so I could spend some quality time with my eldest, except she had other ideas and wanted to whinge and do none of the things available.........makes me wish I had never made an effort, just continued with the housework and let her watch TV earlier. Essentially the same result except now not only to I feel a bad parent I feel a rejected parent as well.
I guess this is one of those learning curves and I know that when I am a worldly parent of teenagers I will look back at this and think water off a ducks back! I will get there.
I cannot believe how intolerant I am these days. I seem to be angry about everything. Poor Ella, yes, she is being naughty in places but there are also the times that she really does not mean to tip milo on the carpet three times in a row, in fact it is my fault for letting her have it in a cup. But still she gets the telling off and the classic 'BE CAREFUL' I am so sick of saying that and getting the tongue clicking Tsk Tsk parroted back at me!
There is a moment before I react to something she has done, it is crystal clear and if there was parenting Olympics I would win gold.................but most of the time that bubble bursts and I react with 70's classic parenting style, all yelling, angry, saying hurtful things like go away or even a smack on a well padded nappy.
The biggest thing that sends me over the edge is a habit Ella and most likely all children have of her age and that is repeatedly saying Mamma over and over the worst of it is that she continues until I hold eye contact and then two seconds later it is the same. All blooming day. My only respite is eating and TV.
I always feel so bad when I yell at her that I always try to make it up in some way for example when she got up I put the baby to sleep so I could spend some quality time with my eldest, except she had other ideas and wanted to whinge and do none of the things available.........makes me wish I had never made an effort, just continued with the housework and let her watch TV earlier. Essentially the same result except now not only to I feel a bad parent I feel a rejected parent as well.
I guess this is one of those learning curves and I know that when I am a worldly parent of teenagers I will look back at this and think water off a ducks back! I will get there.
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