Pum jam, preserved plum, plum tart, plum sauce, plum pudding

Just when you start to think that you ankles look pretty hot in these new parenting shoes some bugger tries to bite your nipple off!

Baby Bobbit we shall call the previously mentioned bugger. I have always been pro breast feeding in fact I even did a breast feeding course and even managed to get CH there(major achievement and to his credit he fully encourages other men to go). I will not even begin to tell you how hard I found it but the end result is I now love it and believe it nurtures an amazing bond between mother and child. Poppy has always been a shit to feed, always preferred the drive in option, no time for pissing about, used to clench and bite when the letdown was not fast enough, if I talked to someone, if the TV was too loud, if somebody moved……you name it. In complete contrast is Ella, whom I fed until she was well over one and only stopped because I was pregnant, she was a joy to feed. People often asked me how I fed through teething and how I coped with biting of a child so old. My face would cringe a little, grasp my boob and have that knowing look……..quietly thinking I must be a double hard bastard…………….I now know this to be complete Mock disdain. All those little nips and clenches were nothing.

Currently there is a nipple disguised as a ‘Nurple’ on my boob, Anyone missing a overripe plum? This is not mild discomfort, this so sore I cannot sleep on that side. The worst of it is, she has her favourite one to bite and as hard as it is to continues feeding, the little sod keeps doing it, I am almost in the fetal position just thinking about it. I now have to be vigilant and watch everything that little mouth is doing for the moment the milk stop flowing she eyeballs me adjusts her grip then CHOMP. It is like Russian roulette, can I get my finger in her mouth and release suction quicker than she can stay in for a bite to eat. The looks she gives is priceless.

She is feeding less and less and I do wonder if she is self weaning, I cannot say I am ready yet but in truth I do not think you ever are, I still give Ella a bottle at night just for the closeness and to have her stay in the one spot for more than a minute.

Well only a couple more hours until the next feed........................................cringe