Taking a shot at the Twister champs

If there was a prize for longest time  sticking head in sand, fingers up arse and sitting on ones hands, it is mine!  Given my current fitness level it would also be a miracle so thankfully it is not literal but the meaning is the same.
I am still working for St John, well in theory as I tend not to answer the phone when they call, I also have not worked very hard to find anotherjob as all I really want to do is stay home and hide.  My confidence took an absolute rogering in the last 18 months and by gum I am finding it hard to come back.  I Really did want to make an attempt to come back to the blog world and the next thing I know it is May and I still have not managed a post!  Perhaps this is not the forum for me? Righto Bye!
Oh that would be easy but some part of me knows this is the way back, I need to create great habits again that involve putting time into blocks, achieving what I set out to do as I have made it very clear to myself I cannot be trusted not to piss about, which makes me feel shite and that makes me eat crap which I do very well. A complete horrid cycle of intelligence decay, self flogging, Jeremy Kyle watching, wine swilling behaviour.
Anyhoo I am terrible and outwardly processing feelings as I prefer them to fester and then disappear under the carpet so this could be a good process, but since I cannot cope with woe is is moi, I will indeed gloss over it with humour.
Oh dear the very thing that is supposed to be helping me is also using it as a weapon as I know I should be doing chores right now, but I am extending this and just put on the Jug for coffee.  I am onto my self and while I drink my coffee I will only check facebook once and perhaps a quick look on etsy and pinterest and then perhaps emails and then find that recipe for coconut lollies, whoops two coffees later it is lunchtime and still in pjs with nothing solid done! Tomorrow is a new day!