It is true what they say about hurting those we love the most. How to you stop?
I cannot believe how intolerant I am these days. I seem to be angry about everything. Poor Ella, yes, she is being naughty in places but there are also the times that she really does not mean to tip milo on the carpet three times in a row, in fact it is my fault for letting her have it in a cup. But still she gets the telling off and the classic 'BE CAREFUL' I am so sick of saying that and getting the tongue clicking Tsk Tsk parroted back at me!
There is a moment before I react to something she has done, it is crystal clear and if there was parenting Olympics I would win gold.................but most of the time that bubble bursts and I react with 70's classic parenting style, all yelling, angry, saying hurtful things like go away or even a smack on a well padded nappy.
The biggest thing that sends me over the edge is a habit Ella and most likely all children have of her age and that is repeatedly saying Mamma over and over the worst of it is that she continues until I hold eye contact and then two seconds later it is the same. All blooming day. My only respite is eating and TV.
I always feel so bad when I yell at her that I always try to make it up in some way for example when she got up I put the baby to sleep so I could spend some quality time with my eldest, except she had other ideas and wanted to whinge and do none of the things available.........makes me wish I had never made an effort, just continued with the housework and let her watch TV earlier. Essentially the same result except now not only to I feel a bad parent I feel a rejected parent as well.
I guess this is one of those learning curves and I know that when I am a worldly parent of teenagers I will look back at this and think water off a ducks back! I will get there.
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2 comments:
I would like to say the Mumma thing stops, but at this stage for me it hasn't. Even worse is her habit of putting 'actually' in front. 'Actually mumma', 'yes Charlotte' long pause while she thinks of something and then the question restarts with 'actually mumma' again.
Oh God, ain't it the truth... the art of counting to ten (in an effort to control my responses) is quickly loosing any effectiveness and I'm now trying to just say nothing until a truly appropriate response springs to mind. One that doesn't include NO, STOP IT or OH GOD - like you, all being mimicked back to me, only cuter and with more pouting... roll on three.
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