What a day

Yesterday could have been the longest day of my life. We had an emergency scan booked in for 5pm to see if we were still pregnant. Thankfully my mid wife did not tell us we were going in until about 3pm so I only had a couple of hours to dwell on what I thought was the most likely outcome.

I just felt numb lying on the hospital bed as they put the warm jelly on my jelly belly, I could not look at CH while they were searching for the baby and there it was a whopping four cm's with a regular heartbeat, Friggin fantastic. I stopped bleeding about 4ish yesterday as to why, I have no idea. I am still really not at ease in the slightest, I am nervous and do not know whether I will be telling you some horrid news in the next couple of weeks but for now I will rest and be trying on some positive thoughts.

I still have to believe in everything happens for a reason and for the best outcome.

I will be mostly concentrating on breathing for the coming weeks. I can still feel my heart beating in my ears and I feel tired to the bone, mentally exausted.

CH was fantastic, I had always felt with the last pregnancy that it just passed him by and was not really a reality for him until she was here. This one is different he wants it just as much as I do and was terribly upset yesterday but still my rock.