I think I have MAN flu!

It's true! I have been in bed for three days and at this very moment am having a good patch. All the classic man flu signs, vocal cords pitched to "whine", inability know what it is that would help me, Cos I DONT KNOW! so very week I cannot even pick up my my own snotty tissues, three days in bed and only changed PJ's under duress yesterday. I must be looking so attractive at the moment, this morning I awoke with a strange feeling as I must have been sleeping with my mouth open and tongue poking out as my mouth has never been so dry and my tongue had cracks in it! You should see my nose as it is a monument dedicated to Vasaline, a wide grinning strip of the shiny stuff plastered under my nose with just as much shoved up it to stop my nose from falling off. My whole body hurts, even my lungs and diaphragm. It has been such a long few day as I never ever thought I could get sick enough not to be able to read in bed! What a waste, three days of not being able to read, curse you bright light! Today I am much better and actually contempating a shower.

This swine flu has my knickers in a knot. I am a healthcare professional and still I am confused. But you know me and my arm could be falling off and I still would not go into A&E as 'it will be right and I would not want to bother them!' Our poor pops was effected the worst, terrible temperatures, shocking coughs, shortness of breath with poor air movement. Pops always coughs in winter, always has and no amount of normal or alternative medicine seems to help it. Her dad was like this as a child. I do worry for pops as her respiratory system is not very strong.

I just wish there was an easy way to spot swine flu, like toenails turning to trotters or unexplainable urgings to put a ring through your nose. Rather than "flu like symptoms" feck any day of the week I have half of them. I did however ring work and say I would not be in today and it god damn came close to killing me, I am such a goodie two shoes that I hate to call in sick even when it is real. Heart palpitations, nervous sweat and stuttering voice GOD I HATE IT!

Actually that is more than enough for me today, thinking of plucking my eyebrows next.......................that should take all day given what I saw looking back at me from the mirror thing morning. Or perhaps bed and sort the yeti out later!