A Family that plays together, stays together!

I remember once telling a lovely Scotish friend of mine about the state of child abuse in this fair country and cracking a joke similar to my title above. She was appalled at not only my gall to make jest but the fact that so many New Zealand families are riddled with child abuse.

The leading story when I hoped off the plane back in Christchurch was research proving that one in four New Zealanders experience sexual abuse before the age of 15, normally at the hands of a family member or trusted family friend. I know this to be true. The highlight of all this "research" for me was that they now attributed this terrible abuse to loosening advertising and veiwing restrictions, consumption of alcohol and the decay of morals. What a crock of shite, so are they saying companies that advertise a product using women in bikinis promote fiddling with children! You cocks. I do not think you can explain why this happens only that it does, I know it, you know it, it disgusts us as a nation. No one cares, I can prove it.

Heard any more on that story which broke more nearly two weeks ago?

Nope gone for another couple of months, lets help starving children in Chad instead. Its easire to digest. Perhaps somewhere down the track more advertising restrictions or some bullocks and the reason will be citied by the above research.

I have been thinking for some time now how to face this and how we as a community could make positive changes. One half of me cannot even believe we openly discuss this as really IT SHOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! But it does.

I think somehow somewhere firm lines have to be drawn while other PC ones erased. Our confusion with all this PC bullocks has clouded our judgement and made us doubt our abilities to parent. Ella ever since going to child care she has hated anyone changing her Nappies, I worry but yet she is most likely just being a prat. Ella the other night was playing with some little boys at a party and on the way hime she said "I touched a boy!" If they had not been in my sight the whole time, I would wonder. Is this not bullocks. I am scared for my children and it is perhaps expecting that everyone is a potential kiddy fiddler has given strength to the kiddy fiddler as we have set the expectation long ago.

How to change? I remember going to a play a few years ago and in it was a Man talking about getting a hard on while his child bounced about on his knee, my first reaction was like most and one of utter disgust but then he went onto say he felt terrible about it and how that must mean he was an abuser and it was not until he thought about it rationally that it was just the movement and not what actually what was on his knee that did it, I guess like some men get a driving hard on and that does not mean the want to have sex with the car!

It is normal natural things that happen that we cannot talk about anymore that we have created a monster, gosh when I think of all the things we did as children we would have been called sexual preditors by some as making poor little fellow from down the road play spin the bottle or flush his naked arse down the loo or fiddle with each others bits when playing doctors and nurses all harmless fun with complete lack of understading but now considerered taboo when really it was natural inqusitiveness.

Punishment is part of the solution, public floggings perhaps. Teaching our children common sense has to be another part of it as they need to know the difference between uncle playfully slapping them on the arse if given the opportunity to inappropriate behavior. We need to give them strength and courage to stand for what is right and nurture those parental bonds to ensure the lines of communication are open.

The past is gone and cannot be changed and tomorrow is not yet here so what we do with today really matters. Remember that.