Need a new challenge?

Desperately seeking, Janey.

I am blessed with the most exquisite collection of friends. Each stunning in different ways yet all brought together by our love and devotion to our children. We organise trips, get creative, talk about child development, let our kids play and support each other for any little obstacles we come upon.

There is those times however when as much as we love our blessed children we do not actually like them and spending the day with them is akin to picking your nose with a cheese grater. At the end of that day when all is not giggles and sweet smelling babies. Sometimes a glimpse of naughty youth flashes in and I crave to go around the back of the shed for a sneaky cigarette or a shot of tequila….hold the lemon and salt.

It is these times we call upon the ‘realistic’ mothers who remember ghost of youth’s past and are more than willing to have drink with it and pull an emergency packet of cigs out of their normally non smoking nappy bag and go hide where the children can’t see. I no longer have a naughty friend who is willing to lead me astray. They both buggered off to England. Spiteful cows.

I am seeking submissions for a new Janey or Delwyn.

Position Description.

This is a demanding role and the meek and mild need not apply. The ideal applicant will be clever and able to defend from and onslaught of sarcastic remarks and send them back as the need dictates. Realistic, blatantly honest but open to delusion as the need arises. Strong negotiation skills, with the ability to talk people down from great heights. Educated in both palate and mind, with an almost psychic ability when a chat and a glass of gin is needed. Knowledge of herbal and pharmaceutical drugs and own prescription pad would be beneficial. The ability to laughs at ones foibles and smile knowingly when we come across those qualities in another and then counsel as appropriate. Most importantly, possess a willingness to be either the strength or the crutch as needed with the ability to be led and lead astray should the opportunity present it self.

Righto, move your arse and make an application.