He He he he he ohhhh dear heeeee he

Three sleeps to go, I am so excited.

Not only am I going to spend loads of time with fav gal, go on a plane, stay in a hotel, Duty free treats, eat lots of fab food, drink bubbles, bright lights and big city, shopping from here to Africa and not a shitty nappy in sight.

I could just pee myself......................................

On to important matters.

THE LIST

What to buy................................

#Grey stuff, yes big next year I think

#Citrus shades, great for summer

#Gladiator Sandals, lots of strap and a bit of heel.

#Knee length shorts, hiding the bits I want disguised.

#Longish tops.

#Engineered suck me in pants.

#Tunics, Halter in style, sweetheart neckline to balance out arse with small shoulders and enhance bust, not too long.

#Capri pants, with very specific lengths

#Crop 3/4 only if firm around the hips and wide floaty legs to show pin ankles and perhaps give the illusion that my legs are like that all the way up

#Perfume, Hmmn I think I will have to get my stock standard Hypnotic Poison but I am over issey for summer so I need to do some testing.

#Facial products in particular micro dermabraison I still need to investigate that one.

#Casual shoes

#Casual and funky Hoodies

#Jeans!!! Hmmn or at the very least great casual pants

#Swim wear to cover wobbly bitsahh hell or perhaps a wet suit.

#Gorgeous Lingerie, lift and present boobies

#Dresses

#More handbags of course

Well thats the basics covered!

Hello poor house and beans on toast, still very worth it

The new Do

There we go, you asked for it one fabulous self potrait of new do, does not even resemble what I left the salon with as it has more of a just got out of bed look.................cos I have, minus the hooker lipstick. Hey you can even see my freckles!

Quite an interesting experience at the salon, not your normal bullocky converstion but more a course in local education as we spoke manly about gangs!

This is the unusual thing in living up here is just how much gangs are in the every day life, I decided to get my hair cut in Kopeopeo which is apparently a Blackpower haven but I love it for the people watching it is great. I toatally stick out like a sore thumb as most of the people I have met thus far would not think of shopping there. I find this whole gang relationship quite interesting as all of my experience which is few and far between is of White gangs. I guess more to the point I understand it on some level as most of you will know that I have no blood family I have not given birth too and little knowlege of my heritage so the idea of a bigger family is a little in the realm of hopes and dreams for me. I know that gangs are not really like this but the truth of the matter is there are good people and bad bastards everywhere and a patch does not nicely classify them as either. Many people have told me that once I live here a few years I will hate Maoris, I find this disturbing. I have always felt a real strong and emotional connection with Maori culture as if one day I hope to find that I am one so I no longer have to feel like a fraud. Just more of wanting that sense of belonging I guess.

I have met some really lovely women here, intelligent capable and with great jobs, yet their men are fully patched up members in the local gang. I do not know what I expected, more like toothless middle aged old hags with my hooker lippie on chugging back a cheap arse beer.

I think I should start my own gang and base it on more like a female Freemason to guard all our female secrets and pass on skills through each other and encourage learning and growth for future generations, a haven of sorts to give strength to one another and next step world domination!

Matriarch Misadventures

A huge Thankyou to the wonderful men of our All Blacks.

I and other rugby families will no longer have to put up with Rugby bullocks, late nights and early mornings and boring replays.

What if this whole thing was orchestrated and planned by the women of the world and put into action by the wives and girlfriends of all involved with the World Cup.

This could happen, or has it?

When I am Queen of this fair country, you Grab-a-seat bastards will be the first up against the wall.

You arse vomit sodden pricks, I am completely and utterly gutted with these sheep buggering bandit cheap fares. Every time there is a fare I could use, I wait, eyes glues, children abandoned and bawling, credit card poised, nose picking finger at the ready to punch in my details.

This time I got through with record speed, right through to punching in my credit card detail and giggling with glee and then flashing read meassage, " Sorry those flights are no longer available."

Who has my fucken tickets?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I cannot use this site again, my temper will not hold.

Pledge Update

I never complain to manufacturers, even about important things. This time I was so wild that I did. Today I recieved a $15 voucher in the post with the advice that in future I should spray upon cloth instead of directly on to surface. So go fourth and spay.

Christmas Ahoy

It has begun, three days of prep and the result is the most weighty, decadent and rich, plonk swamped Christmas cakes I have ever made. These monsters will almost double in weight with their weekly feeding of port on the lead up to Christmas.

I love Christmas cake day it is a new tradition I started as my own Mother once made a christmas cake sponge mixture and fruit mix the night before and I still loved loved it, it was only the once and I remember it well. I always had this dream of a proper Christmas card family Christmas with all the family pitching in and making it a truly magical event, Christmas carols playing while all standing around the massive bowls of cake batter and each stiring the mix and making a wish.

In reality what a complete balls up it was to try to do with a baby and a naughty toddler helping you bake and who knows what my oldest minion managed to get into the batter when my back was turned. It would take a complete saint to enjoy this event and not come a sweaty scarlet bundle with gang banger curses. The buggers ground me down and pissed all over my Christmas card vision.

However I live to tell the story and will of course look forward to next year. Ella is already amped for Christmas, we have been doing some pretty instensive training but so far all she wants for Christmas is a Christmas Cake and a Christmas Tree, oh bless.