I wonder what the suicide rates are in low income families?

Today was horrible. Death in the family of an extremely well loved object. The Telly.
Luckily we have a second television.
Unluckily the power spike that killed our precious telly also screwed our sky box and as a result we had to watch poor people television. Christ, half an hour of this visual runny arse and I swear I lost the will to live. Absolute bullocks on the box how am I supposed to achieve total sensory deprivation while watching Marc Ellis force feed lemons to idiots? I even thought of having a conversation with CH, that is how bad it was!

I suppose there is one silver lining, our second TV does not have a remote and as it is really hard to channel surf on three choices and getting up and down spices up the degree of difficulty not to mention the obvious physical benefits.

Speaking of things physical I have reached 'extreme lardarse' stage again and the little changes I have made in my life do not seem to be making an impact.

• I am walking to where I want to go.
• The fridge is in another room so I have to walk to it.
• The Clothes dryer is way down in the spider ridden garage so I am hanging out the washing
• The freezer is also in the garage so I have to haul arse to get anything.

Ok so they are only small changes and it has only been two weeks and I have been eating some extemely good food of late and large portions. Damn my superior cooking skills.

Ok, I am also not going to bake anymore, or add sauces to a meal. No more bernaise, hollandaise or creamy carmelised onion and blue cheese............................whimper.

I still have a bit of a stash left over from easter, I will deal to that tonight and start tomorrow on the right foot...................................................yes I will add no more gorging to the list.....later...much later...........................Cake, I also have mud cake to take care of. This could be a long night.

Fuck off, you're oooooooooooooooout!

Thats it!, done and dusted! It is a beautiful day, I have been to the movies with my eldest, walked for an hour and a half and giggled all the way home as I have finished all of my online training and it has just sunk in! I am just so rapt. Yesterday started my first 7am until 7pm day shift and what a fabulous day. I learned so much and actually got to inject someone yesterday as well as drive priority one, lights, sirens and air horn to a town half an hour away. I came home absolutely buzzing and confident in my decision to put the girls in care all day so I can do this.

It has been a hard few weeks and the most unfortunate part was self doubt. We have these two horrid women where I work and they teach by belittling and chronic bitchyness. I have never seen the like. At what age do we become bitter and twisted?

I am yet to work out what to do with horrid busted old hags. As you all know I am not a bad person a generally get along with anybody and do not put up with people being unreasonable. With these two wenches I am stumped. They have got me so worked up because I am truly torn, on the one hand I am naturally so respectable of my elders and want to hold them with high regard and absorb their knowledge but the other side of me is so angry at them for treating people the way they do. Honestly it makes me so upset and I just cannot put my big gal pants on and talk to them about it as these days I am so emotional and would end up in a snotty crying mess and that would just not do. I cry in front of no one!

I was talking to a friend of mine who prefers women over men and simply asked how she could do it? ........It was about there I put a stop to that conversation before I heard some information I did not want to hear but simply gave her the following advice, under no circumstances date anyone over forty, start cruising for a new and much younger lady love well before their 39th birthday.

This need further investagation, as although I am 33 I can feel a new bitchyness creeping into my otherwise wonderful personality......cough cough. Be aware team and report all incidents of unsheathed bitchyness, chronic crankyness, sadistic sarcasm and I will look into your diet and increase your sugar, spice and all things nice!

Blimey, you guessed it I have been immersed in the books again and finding little time to do anything else except MOVE. Christ words cannot describe how absolutely shit the last three weeks have been. It is completely unending. DO NOT EVEN consider moving with children UNLESS you donate 80% of their crap first. Then when you done throw out anything opened(except booze as you will be needing that to full up pump bottles and sipper cups) then kick at least six boxes of the back of the truck.....................you wont miss em and trust me you will be thankful later. Ensure you do not move on a public holiday as every bastard has a legitimate excuse.....fancy that Jesus dying on the cross and rising again to give ye all a reason fuck off and not help.

So we have shifted and I will be soon walking everywhere I need to go and I will be finished my course come the end of May and believe you me I am looking forward to having a moment to write on here every now and then.

Until my next moment of work avoiding............................xxxxx