I must admit to being a little insular of late and I really do not have a clue about what is going on in the big wide world, I generally only get a small bit of down time to watch the first few items on the news, which is normally only National pieces and our reception is so bad that we cannot get any national radio shows. I am only getting wee snippets here just enough to peak my interest but does little to explain the full story. I am a bit lost really as I have no one worldly enough in my life that cares enough about world events to explain them. I must put that on my list for possible friend description. I already have Lucy who will help me with Te Reo, a good start.

I am quite interested in the chap Ahmadinejad I do not know what it is but I think it has something to do with how he looks and it does not really match up with what falls from his mouth. I do wonder how much is lost in translation.

As for this Myanmar/Burma conflict, how can I have any idea of what is going on if no one can seem to agree what to blooming call the country. I think it is something along the UN using Myanmar and Americans using Burma. Where do the people live Burma or Myanmar. 45 years of Military rule...........................the biggest uprising since the death of over three thousand over 20 years ago...............something has gotta give.

I need more time in my day, a stolen hour to read the newspaper everyday, right lets try to make that happen.

clean and dust

There in all its calming blue colours my destroyer of yesterday. Do not be fooled by the magpie catching colour, holographic sparkly bits, fabulous smell and smorgasboard of empty cleaning promises.

I am normally not one to shit on cleaning product, cos who really cares but on this one I am pulling my draws down and lining it up.

Yesterday three of my husbands superiors from head office were coming for dinner, I of course relishing the chance to fatten people up but thought I had best have a bit of a spring clean. Our Kitchen is only three years old, lovely new easy clean laminate. In the sunlight there was the odd mark on the doors around the handle so off I went with said spray and spot cleaned the whole kitchen. Once I finished I stood back to look at my work and FUCK A DUCK they looked ten time worse a big greasy patch where I had cleaned, I waited for it to dry. It did not. I then thought FUCK I was already late and now I had to clean the blasted everything from floor to ceiling.

Once finished I stood back and Mother of god I shit you not all surfaces look like I had smeared bacon fat upon it. To make matters worse I went to answer my phone and fell completely on my arse as I had got some spray on the floor and it was now a slippery surface, my daughter ran in arsed up as well and cracked her head on one of the fat covered doors. Screaming and tears reign supreme and Ella was upset too.

To further feed my fury, upon looking at the product to ensure I was using correctly and whom to complain to should I ever get the time I see what appears to be spelling errors in the contact details(perhaps I am wrong and it is correct in some language), which makes me think if they do not have the resources to get this little thing right then we are most likely pissing in the wind to hope they care about the integrity of their product.

I am hoping it was just a bad patch as I do use there other products, well I did.

Oh dear what have I become anyone seen pre child Jody?

Smelling of roses

Would you believe that this week I have stepped out of gumboots covered in Sheep, cow, pig and goat shit? Not quite the black farmers boots you imagine but a lovely little white pair covered in big red roses, and of course they have now been though the wash………………and disinfected.

The girls and I joined our daycare place on a bus trip to a farm. Granted it was not ideal that I had had a few beers and wine the previous night, as it just seemed amplify the high pitch screams and squawked versions of the “Wheels on the Bus” Bit the farm was fabulous and I was green with both shit and envy at their veggie garden the whole experience left a huge impression upon Ella in particular that “Cows do Pooooooooooos!” We also collected eggs from the chicken coops, bloody clever chickens up these parts as they lay them hard boiled (chas and dave you will have to lift your game). The downside of that is I have now have had to move our eggs at home as they are not hard boiled and do not bounce as well.

Thus far I have also had two coffees with some other Mums who I am testing out for the role of friend but I am still looking, I am guilty of still treating this place like a holiday and love getting up every morning and going exploring, I will settle down and create some routine once back from Melbourne…………….really.

We had three people over for dinner last and this house is great for entertaining and you all know my love of food and my overwhelming urge to feed everyone so book in to Casa Langdon as reservations are tightening up.

What I have under my bonnet

My child will surely question my grasp on reality when she gets an eyeful of what her dear old Mum used to dress her in.

Quaint, old fashioned, practical and blooming cute................much like me really. I came across this wonderful little community shop run by about 60 old ducks who all are talented at crafting and all profits go to charity. Lovely ladies and you really need to take an extra half an hour when you pop in for mindless chit chat but for handmade full of love products it is all worth it.

Melbourne Awaits

I am so excited, almost a year of planning and in less than one month I will be winging my way to endless shopping, eating, drinking with fav gal pal D. I even am in love with the new advertising Melbourne campaign, great dress and music. I have started the list on what to get but to be fair it is getting a little out of control. Research is what I need, NO what I really need is the Fashion Channel, god I loved it..................bring it back, it was the perfect couple channel, cutting edge designers for the ladies and Boobs for the boys, whats not to love.

Speaking of fashion, its bloody NZ fashion week and the coverage has really sucked just pathetic uncaring journos asking boring questions like "Whats your one tip for the general public to look good!" Oh the shame. I quite like runwayreporter.co.nz, but I need more more more!

Speaking of good websites, for all your nutritional supplements and general self help health, check out this fab site, great prices, prompt service, in fact the most pleasant online buying experience I have had. Healthpost.co.nz

Feck! Piss! ARSE!

On average I tidy the kitchen a minimum of five times a day. Brekkie, Morning T, Lunch, Avo T, pre dinner dishes, Baking and dinner dishes.

Why is it when CH has a day off during the week he chooses a non allocated eating time to bring out the largest, hardest to clean pan, fry off some stinking bacon that spews grease all over my sparkling ceramic hobb and splash back throws in an egg and gets half of it on said hobb. Then wonders why I say no to a fully cooked lunch at about two in the avo.

Mother of god I need to go back to work so I can stop obsessing and be cool about messy kichen all day.

Being cool now.....................................................

Pork crackle, jellied eels and pork pies STAT

It is often said you reap what you sow and could not possibly ring more true than with your own children. Ella at present is enchanting and just a little excretement rolled into one challenging bundle. Her ‘In’ words at present are “No worries Mama” after I have just told her off for something and the new and infuriating “But I am being funny Mama!” used in such occasions as she wears a Nappy on her head, legs through dressing gown arms and staying about a metre out of reach when we should have been at the doctors five minutes ago!

Given as parents are told countless times how their little brains soak up more learning in the first couple of years of life, I am now thinking I really should have vetted the TV programmes a bit more as I am sure they have helped shape her sense of humour. All her favourite viewing pleasures possess an all American twang with a side of apple pie goodness. My first thought was to dash out and copy all my BBC video classics onto DVD format and have Red dwarf, Monty Python, Black Adder, Smith and Jones all playing in the background. As of course my sense of humour leans more to British than American.

What a crock of shit. I have had that same British V’s American debate with many in the past and if I truly think about it can I name 10 current TV programmes that I love that are British comedy? 5? 2?!!!!!! No, However, I can say with hand on heart the only programmes I watch at present from that area of the world are Spooks and Dr Who, and not really comedies at all, well Dr Who loosely. The same cannot be said about American programmes as all my favs are from that side of the world. Dang!

As my mate David say “I afraid of Americans, I afraid I can’t help IT!” Why do I and others have I this thing against Americans? I mean recently I could have become quite good friends with some I have met, Oh actually……. one was a Canadian. What ever it is, it is fairly deep rooted as even when we speak of our time overseas one of the first things we say is that it was a fabulous time to travel as the war was on and there were no Americans travelling and the usual response by those we tell is a knowing nod and snigger.

Perhaps I just need to say it, “I love many American trashy television programmes” No let’s try that again.

“I love many American and Canadian Television programmes, they truly can make fantastic absorbing television, and I look forward to the day I can eat at an American smorgasboard and order one of those fecking fantastic looking pizza’s and dial a number that starts with 555”

Whale Island, that lump to the right, not the one directly below

Miles to the left and many more miles to the right. A soft sandy beach as far as the eyes can see and all just five minutes from our kitchen table. A truly beautiful day as warm as a Christchurch summer and all this months before Summer months hit. We are gonna fry our arses off!

Such a relaxing day, Ella built her first sandcastle and all I really could do was sit on my hands and watch as truly all I wanted to do was take over and build some Rococo masterpiece, next time I am taking my own bucket and spade.

Jason took this photo, one of the few I have with the children. We have decided he should take more of me and the children as should god forbid something happens to me the only proof of my existance is the odd fuzzy finger over the camera lens. However rules will have to be adhered to, photos will only be taken when I look completely hot(simmering not sweaty), have much makeup on to pull off that natural look, all bra straps should be hidden, legs closed and knickers or builders bum not showing, boobs as perky as a twenty year olds and lardy lunpy bits fully sucked in and who can forget a bloody miracle to make that all happen.

Whakatane

Well we have made it, settled and almost 80% unpacked. The drive up was really fantastic and catching up with a couple pals on the way was a mammoth bonus. The girls were great and oh my god what a beautiful country we live in (Bulls,Waiouru and Foxton excluded!)

Here is a photo of our new home, WE LIVE IN PLEASANTVILLE! For many years I would drive past these boring human boxed settlements and shudder and the thought of living in such a place. I now of course realise that was simply self preservation as I LOVE THIS HOUSE!. We have four bedrooms, our room has a ensuite, walk in wardrobe and concertina doors that open to a deck! The whole house has fabulous indoor/outdoor flow, heatpump, great chefs kitchen and all day sun. We live in a lovely wee valley on top of a hill, with a bird sactuary and many bush walks at the end of the street(our cat is rapt!) Five minutes to the centre of town one way and five minutes to the beach the other way.