Friggin Murphy

It has been awhile since my last blogging. I have been sulking.

Previously said childless weekend was replaced with regular child weekend, teamed with onslaught of family-in-law staying. I am a lucky girl.

That will teach me for being so darn excited about it it the first place. However good things happen to those who wait and if all the moons align it may just happen this weekend. As with every other aspect of my life I of course will be ignoring it. Hopefully it will just creep up on me and actually happen.

Now let us all rejoice for today is a good day. I have just discovered that the red place has Cadbury Dairy Milk Value packs 400g for $2.99. Given that this is my main squeeze these days I shall not be moving from the couch for the rest of the day. I have never liked plain chocolate before unless it was really good blow your head off stuff. At the moment, my god it is fantastic. There is no accounting for taste.

Since I last wrote I really think that the reality of living in Blenheim has become a good one. I have met some really lovely like minded people and joined a couple of groups and actually having some fun.

To make myself more at home I have been building a herb garden and nearly finished a salad garden and within the next couple of week hopefully I will have an area prepared for planting tomatoes. Fantastic.

Blooming Newsflash

I can hardly believe it, this whole moving to Blenheim thing may be panning out to our advantage, firstly Jason got a good bonus and achieved target in his first month.

But the height of my excitement and it will only be appreciated by parents, God Bless Ella's granparents as they want to have her for the Whole weekend........Yes of course I am nervous at being seperated BUT FUCK YEAH, we can sleep in, go to the movies, no shitty nappies or whingeing child..............It was funny, when Jason first told me I said great we can go to the pub.....as that moment I forgot I was heavily pregnant. Kinda limiting.

But who the hell cares, to be able to just hang out together as a couple, is amazing...well it has been nearly eighteen months.


Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooo where does one start..............................

Shite, feck and bullocks

Who in their right mind would upset a hormone driven woman, I am nuts, completely addled and well beyond the reach of reason when my cooking does not turn out completely to my satisfaction let alone someone else pissing on my chips.

As I have proclaimed before, I am truly trying to pick and choose my battles and just let go......breathe in and release. Besides I know this is truly not me, the real size 12 Jody is bound and gagged in the cupboard for most likely another nine months or so.

However CH is currently in Christchurch for a couple of days and as luck would have it so is Ella's carseat! We have had to cancel plans left and right. I am sure CH will claim that it was all in an attempt to get me to slow down(arse covered)......bum he may be a little right as I did have many plans but will now have to bullocky walk/waddle.

Man oh man, I remember having vivid dreams with Ella but mine currently are tumbling into 3D night terrors, one after the other for example last night a snapshot of my dreams would consist of Tsunami, volcanic eruptions, lost at sea, rape, murder, being trapped and helpless with waters breaking, inability to use lifesaving technology. How very relaxing. Gee I cannot wait until tonght.

New Maori King

Did any one see the tradtional challenge and welcome at the Turangawaewae Marae yesterday? I only saw it once and it was spine tingling amazing, I am a little overly emotional at present but this sent rivers of tears flowing, my toddler daughter even was excited with eyes as big as saucers and a grin from ear to ear while clapping. It was sad to only have seen it once as the coverage of the even in the news was fairly scant.

Mind you when she was conceived we were spending time in Rotorua and immersing ourselves in Hangi's, carving, Marae Protocol and all things native to New Zealand, I wonder if a seed planted took root very early in her soul.

I must admit to knowing little of the new monarch Tuheitia Paki time will tell. I think his job will be more in the spotlight than in Dame Te Atairangikaahu's reign. Interesting times.

Apricots galore

I do apologise to all those going in to the supermarket in search of Apricots. I have perhaps eaten all of them. Dried, tinned, covered in rich dark chocolate, immersed in white chocolate with brazil nuts, smoothies and of course apricot slice. I am not fussy. Large portions, Yes please.

I have this amazing appetite for the little succulent bright orange morsels. I know, horribly high in the preservative sulphur dioxide. They are so very fine.

Blooming cravings.

Grey's Anatomy

Yes, I know and by now it should be no surprise to you that I am indeed a geek.

I am already suffering withdraw symptoms of losing my life blood television programmes, I know I came out with positive fighting words about not being televisions bitch anymore......

I recant, come back all is forgiven. I will gladly hold the lining of telly's pocket.

I am gutted, not only has Grey's finished UNTIL NEXT YEAR are they mad!!! I will be.

Mcdreamy managing to slip and impale himself in Meredith's Praying Mantis embrace. All the while the lovely Dr Addison Sheppard awaits. I will not even go into the obvious wardrobe malfunction that occured to make Addison look old and warty and Meredith look hot.
Denny........Oh Denny you lovely man........sigh.

No Scientific Proof! Arse

Did anyone see 'The Perfect Age' on Sunday evening?

I am gutted they said there was no scientic proof of such a thing as Baby Brain or Nappy Head existing. I'm screwed then.

It is truly amazing how we forget little things, seemingly small bits of information that may one day remind us not to do something i.e Childbirth!

I have finally reached the 26 week mark and already feel 10 months pregnant. My stomach has dropped ALREADY, I have a significant sway when I walk. enough to rival a Brazilian drag queen. I grunt and moan most of the time, so much so that my toddler has picked up the habit and moans when she bends down. Charming.

One of those little things I had forgotten was that milestone when you can no longer pee quitely. Infact during those still wee hours in the dead of night when you are making your fourth visit to the loo, people within earshot could be forgiven in thinking such a racket could only be achieved by standing on the toilet seat and pissing from a great height!

I am not even going to talk about the farting, as of course I would not ever do such a thing and should I be struck down with such a curse it would sound like a melody and smell of spring flowers.

Yes, still deluded.

I feel like such a selfish sad arse. I have finally reached the point where I no longer want to bitch and nag CH any longer. I am sick to my back teeth of always finding something to pick holes in or be simmering about. But how the feck do you let go?

At any one time I could right an A4 list of things that CH has done to piss me off of late. I detest feeling so friggin hard done by all the time it is so draining. The worst part is I have been having thoughts of late that it would be so much more easy without a significant other in my life as at present all CH provides is financial, I realy feel like I am going solo except instead of caring for one child and one on the way I feel like I am caring for two and one on the way.

Ever since my lovely child has been born I have been aware that to keep my sanity I need time off to be me. Every so often it comes to a head, I reach rock bottom rehash the same shit to CH, come out feeling better that things will change and guess what they don't.

CH is great do not get me wrong but I just want to feel respected and not someones dishpig as he so plainly put it 'it is my job' Be fucked, you can well imagine how I took that and how long I shall remind him of said quote.

But yes, it is my job. I do love being a mum it is the add ons I truly despise.

Women everywhere do this same job everyday and seem to do so without the slightest hint of resentment and worse they do it with ease and enjoyment, why am I wired so differently?

How will I cope with another child?? I am completely baffled to the logistics of such an operation. Although I am a god fearing type of gal I have not been a god worshipper since I gave up the idea of being a nun when I was 10. Now more that ever I wish I had my faith as I would pray for strength and perhaps be reassured that it may come to me.

For now I will just breathe

Thankfully after months of loyalty the Television is loosening its death grip upon me. With the seasons end of so many of my favourites, I have every confidence that some day soon I will not be Telly's bitch.

I know, I know early days but and the likelyhood of me finding some other life sucking void to fill in my evenings is high BUT I will try to fight it.

As you all know yesterday started with a motivational explosion and I am pleased to tell one and all that I managed to stick to most on the list with only half a chocolate chip biscuit to add to the guilt list. Remarkable, staying away from shops is the key.

I went to the most fantastic Plunket group today and met a cool bunch of gals, but strangely none of them local.......................I have a feeling infiltration of local yokels may be difficult and perhaps unheard of.

Any embroiders out there?? I am trying to create the what appears to be a bullion rose and am having difficulty pulling my needle through, any ideas please.......................how terribly lady like.

War in Israel

I have been trying to get my head around the conflict that is currently formost in many of our minds.

Each time I think I understand a little more of what is happening, I dig up something else that completely discredits what I thought I understood.

If you have a similar interest here is a link that could be of some interest www.haaretz.com

Here is a snippit from today's online forum.

To what extent is a victory possible in the Israel-Hezbollah war? If a military victory is reachable, what do the sides need to do to achieve it?


"Israel nevers learns . One of the principal reasons Hezbollah is so popular in Lebanon, is that it is the social welfare infrastructure, it provides schools, hospitals and other important aspects of the society. In targeting these things in its effort to root out Hezbollah Israel has created a perfect environment for the regrowth of Hezbollah. In destroying the infrastructure and demonstrating the in ability of the Lebanese government to defend their people Israel has created a need in the minds of the people for Hezbollah.The west, including Israel must take responsibility for rebuilding of Lebanon in order to choke off the resurgence of Hezbollah,The same is true in Palestine with Hamas.Be brave Israel, be smart. Take control of providing social support for the people of your enemies and you'll find the people on your side. Then the war will be won."
Sean Calaghan, Melbourne, Australia

Deception Point

I have just finished this book and found it a fast read but a good on the edge of your seat piece of escapement.

I actaully enjoyed it far more than the Davinci Code.

The Perfect age

Did anyone see last nights new programme on the perfect age? Most enjoyable catch it next week, Channel 3 @ 7.30, Sunday.

Motivation!??? it must be Monday

Tis I Mrs Under delivering on the over self promising.

Once again I am putting three fingers to keyboard to proclaim the virtues of healthy living and how I intend to make a lifestyle change.

This time blog fans it needs to happen. I am feeling like a sack of shite and have been for some months now. Some of said feeling could of course be put down to being with footballing, innards gnawing, vitamin leaching child.

My diet of late has been shocking. This month I made an exciting discovery, as you know I am crap at sleeping...........................well I have worked out that if I really gorge myself on chocolate now I am talking full kingsize before bed behaviour! I almost sleep right through the night and am only getting up at the most twice! This is remarkable for me as normally I lay awake for hours and have to pee at least every hour.

As I am sick of speading most my day and night in the loo I am lucky to drink a litre of water a day. Since I am tired I only feel like eating crap, so I do, all sugar laden goodies.

So the cycle begins again.

This time I really going to try hard as I need to see and feel improvement or I am never going to cope with another child without going postal. Here is the plan, nothing drastic as that is just pissing in the wind.

• Drink at least 2lt of water a day, no fizzy or juice(purchase incontenence pants)
• Eat at least three servings of fresh fruit (buy less haemorroid cream)
• Trade in White bread for low GI bird bread
• NO BUTTER, low fat marg or cream cheese
• Walk to town at least three times a week
• No eating after 8pm and no more choccie banquets
• If need a biscuit, one is fine a packet is not.
• No more bakery food
• Actually do my pelvic floors as I really need to!!

Righto I shall give this a whirl, this is possibly normal and everyday for most of you virtuous sods, but for moi it is almost life threatening. If I can do this for the next month feeling good should be reward enough but incentive is great and I shall treat myself to a Hair appointment(it has been six months!) and some nice moisturiser and eye cream.

Ladies raise your pump bottles and lets drink to feeling healthy and Joie de Vivre!

Week two

What can I say ladies.....except I am sorry, sorry that most of you that read my blog are not in Blenheim. The weather here truly is lovely, one overcast day in two weeks is not what this smog ridden Christchurch girl is used to.

I live about a 20min waddle from town and love seeing all the citrus fruit that everybody has in their garden. We must be about the only place with none, I must admit to being saddened by the amount of fruit that just lies to waste. I have thought about saying I will take some off people hands but you know me I just never could.

I went and had a coffee with a lady who gave me the in's and out's of what there is to do in Blenheim, very valuable information. It is the same old story, word of mouth is the most important source of information.

We had our first swimming class yesterday and met some lovely people, I could not fault the course at all and Ella really enjoyed busting some new moves.

Play center tomorrow so that should be good.

I also have found the local craft shop and have now set about trying to teach myself how to embroider. Not as easy as you would think when trying to teach ones self from a book. Yet another project I have on the go......I do hope I can finish this one.

I also have stumbled upon a lovely Jewellery shop called Ticketyboo and have spotted a few items of interest, I have left several cards at high traffic areas in the house and even a map of how to get there.....................too much of a hint?

Sorry the blogs of late are incredibly boring but I really am still a bit bamboozled about this whole shifting thing and I feel really up in the air, I guess it does not seem real yet.

So do you fancy a quickie?

Firstly we have landed in Sunny Blenheim. Car trip with toddler, not completely out of the realms of 'Bride of Chucky' Oh well who can blame her so since she was going to have a crap trip I thought I may as well give her crap food....choccies....Marshmallows...Chips..All the badstuff. Her carseat and anything within a sticky fingers reach needing much cleaning.

Our new home as you know was taken site unseen. Thankfully the close proximity of the train tracks is drowned out by the terrible traffic noise. Apart from that the house is great, old stained and kinda smells but is sunny and has much more space than our beloved Christchuch shoe box. It just feels right.

I met my new midwife yesterday and she seems great. There is a grand total of nine midwives in the Blenheim area and they do the lot birth, slice, dice and reconstruct. The Maternity ward has only a few rooms and is never full. The plunket lady only sees people on a Wednesday. I honestly had not contemplated how country this is.

Groceries are very expensive, there is no competition, no market gardens and very few butchers. No Wendy's or BK but thankfully they have just got a movie theatre. No Recycling!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am disgusted. But it is lovely, although the weather seems similar to Christchurch in accordance to the weather news, it is so much warmer. We only have a fire and it cooks the house, I have no need to turn on a heater in the shower and I can get my washing in at five and have no dampness. Brilliant.

I have been tuning into the local radio station to get a feel for what is going on and do you know what made the news on Monday? There were three shoplifters caught in the weekend and two youths who jumped on the roof of a car and then tried the door handle were apprehended. Fantastic. Not murders, not beatings...................I even feel safer. Get this, our insurance is cheaper given the low crime area!

Anyway I must dash as my child is driving me batty and I really have many boxes yet to unpack. CH is away on a managers meeting and of course I have taken it upon myself to have the place ship shape upon his return...........of course to keep him happy......NO I would never yes it as leverage...................for much later.

What the hell is cardboard made from?

You may consider cardboard boxes an absolute neccesity when it comes to moving your possesions around the country or saving the environment from yet another plastic bag that will drown a duck somehere.....but beware of boxes in bulk.

Three days ago our local supermarket put aside some premium boxes for us. I went to pick them up, thanked them kindly, loaded said boxes into my family wagon, drove home(noted odd cardboard/sewage smell, mental note to harrass husband over farting in family wagon), unloaded said boxes.

Three days later car still stinks, any room where boxes in numbers have congregated, stinks. Is the cardboard made from recycled bog roll, if so should our foodstuffs be transported in it?

Yes, you are right I am babbling, obviously stench from packing said boxes have addled my brain. It could also be the fact I am so friggin bored of packing said boxes...............yes I am avoiding packing more said boxes by over using the phrase 'said boxes' about said boxes.

I guess I had best stop sulking about not being able to watch Greys Anatomy, friggin reruns.
I am sure Patrick will wait for me. However I do wish they would change his characters name.......for the love of God.......Derek just does not inspire hotness. Sorry Dereks.

Oh well best I go and pack some more shit in boxes or has is already been done!

Look forgive me I do not think the previous photo was very flattering but at least I have another one of Ella to put up, much better.

Yep she still has those squishy cheeks.......I do hope the Russian President is not reading my blog or he will be over here to kiss her tummy.

Incidentally I do believe there was anything sinister about that little media whoops. If that is the extent of our world wide coverage I do not know whether to be appalled or thankful.

In fact CH used and still has a thing for chubby cheeks not sexual but just loves them thankfully I have them in abundance.

Just in case you miss us so, it has been said I am crap at putting updated photos of us and more specifically MOI.

Not really worth waiting for, hey next time I may even wear makeup!

Gone fishing

You may notice a serious lack of the normal pointless drivel that I force you to read. This may be so for the next couple of weeks as I really am having a most lovely time trying to pack with a toddler. Cringe. As soon as I am settled in equally as lovely Blenheim I am sure I will be back to ranting and raving

Stay tuned

Provided I do not go postal in between times.

Close very close.

Oh my god I am going to give birth to skelotor(spelling?), you know skinny action figure fella. Looking to be a nice slim head...............................

Midwives in Blenheim

If anyone knows anything about any midwives in Blenheim please give me a heads up and Wanda if by chance you have a stich and bitch Blenheim branch let us know.

Oh yeah I forgot about

We just had our scan and I can proudly confirm we are not in actual fact having a giraffe on upside down b for a child but it is a GIRL. How lovely a sister for Ella but given the pregnacy thus far, the new one is going to give Ella a run for her money on the naughtiness stakes.

How exciting we are no longer having an it. Now to nail down the name.

Moving to Blenheim

Hmmmn Blenheim......lovely small slightly rural town, sunny, vineyards with access to Cherries and lots of them. It is official we are packing and moving on up. I can almost feel my extra arm sprouting out of my back.

I know little of the place except that the rent is much more exspensive, cost of living is higher and my husband wages are not going up and he will be working longer hours. All making perfect sense on a already well stretched budget. Key word to remember is LONGTERM planning and sometimes we must take a step back to move forward...................fingers crossed.

Over the next few weeks I will be busy trying to find a trailer to live in up north, find tenants for this home, prepare this one for rentals(I am just taking a break from varnishing the bench) packing while fending off a helpful toddler and feeling hugely pregnant. So much to do I am am finding sleeping even more out of reach than usual as my mind is going ten times its normal speed and of course I feel like the weight of the world is upon my shoulders. Thankfully I have a husband to share the burden, well at least a quarter of it anyway.

CH said the most lovely thing this weekend just gone, we were talking about a friend of ours who is a fantastic catch but can never seem to find the right girl as ideally he would like to settle a bit more. He went on to say that he would like to find a woman he considers his equal, Jason replied that would not be good enough do what I did and find not your equal but your better to inspire your growth and give you incentive to do your best. How lovely is that, of course I had to confirm he was talking about me and not some five dollar floosie with no teeth.

Filthy Rapist

When our tried and true men in blue describe the profile of New Zealands most wanted as a "Filthy Rapist" there is little separating the many with the blue. Although the quote was apt and would easily roll off any of our tongues, that is the point, should such an emotional response come from the thin blue line? Sensationalisium(sorry poorly spelt) already runs rife throughout all forms of our media, what new dizzy scare mongering heights will we scale next?

It has already worked for me, being pregnant my mind is somewhat addled at best, anxiety appears to be at the root of all evil at present. I feel much empathy for anything using more than a few choice verbs. I think I am going to put myself on a Nationwide media ban. How are you feeling about the events of the nation?

If all articles are to be believed we are a nation of violent sexual attacks, child abusers, child murderers, child abductors, hell we even run our children over with our own vehicles with alarming regularity all of that and throw in mass hysteria produced by opening a MALL of all things, all those greedy bastards pushing and shoving for a bargain. It is those same greedy bastards that may even share something with you, a thrist and a hunger to feed off each new and sordid detail of the crimes of the hour, to lap up the media and relish tales that should only exist in a world of Wes Craven. Sure there will be the obligated, grimace and filthy rapist or sick bastard comment. But essentially that glimmer in the corner of the eyes that once existed when watching a public hanging, is still there.

For me no longer I have had enough, I already have a fear for my family and friends and what stalks them. I already want to lock my door during the day. I am not capeable of listening to horrible graphic details of a crime and then continue cooking dinner. It stays with me. I wish it would stay with everyone, no not so they are as anxious as I but to remember the feeling and perhaps make more effort to do more. The standard is we quickly forget until it happens again but nothing has changed in the interim.

To all my friends basking in the warmth of the northern hemisphere, wearing tank tops and most likely slurping fruity concoctions out of coconuts decorated with umbrellas made by poorly paid children. I hope you all have prickly heat rash chafing in your buttock crack!

We had one day this week were the temperature never got above ZERO. Day three and still surrounded by a snowy lake. Thankfully we still have power.

The week that was

Imagine this leaving home at the tender age of 16, willingly left behind are all the ties that bind. Parental relationship spurned and off one goes willy nilly to live a new exciting life.

Then pan to fourteen years later Mother comes to stay for a whole week! Blimey you would need to be a saint or a saddist to enjoy the experience in its entirety. Words just cannot describe the horror that was last week. On reflection it was good practise for looking after two children under two, in fact much harder as at least babies go for a nap.

I thought it was about time I include the latest wee piccie of Ella, here she is just finished doing her current favourite thing, picking her nose,the wee grott, hours of fun, oh bless just like her Daddy.

We went to Playcenter again this week and I truly hoped I would enjoy the experience more but I hated it. The whole place reeks of political correctness and parents co-operative, I mean for god sake they where holding a "Trial" paper swords ban as some uptight sugar hating parents got offended at boys making paper swords and playing pirates. Sad gits, live a little and have a regular coffee! Hey even I would like to play pirates if I could play with Mr Depp..................However I shall go as it is fantastic for Ella, she just goes wild and leaves me at the door and finds everything messy and fun, Mummy who?

Oh great that gives me time to talk to the locals, do my little jobs and play nicely. Goody. I think the main problem with me is I could never be rude and always find it hard to say no but I truly do not want to be embroiled in the lives of more people I do not choose. You know how it goes, introductions aside and the next thing you know is all about their life and pretty soon you need to choose whose side of the poxy playground you stand on. Is it too late to pretend mute?

I am a Faithful Creator

I do not usually do these things but I needed some answers toaday and have found this one to be very insightful and accurate. Easily pleased huh! Thanks to Rose for this one

Faithful Creator

My Personal Dna Report

Naming your child

I love family tradition and wish that there was some decent names or at the very least people whom I admire in my family. Unfortunately most of the women were incredibly grumpy old crones with names like Lottie and Edna. I think I am so caught up in the tradition aspect as I myself have no links to my past at all, I have my adopted family and that is it. I want my children to see a clear path of whence they came to start a new strong lineage. I wish I had more to tell them of their ancestors as I would know everything given the choice. In complete contrast CH could know everything about his heritage but has no interest, what I would do for that!

I had quite a long list of names for our last child and CH could only agree on one. Hence we ended up with a common as muck name but I managed to sneak something with a little more interest in for a middle name, Ella Raine. CH wanted Carmen!!!! there is no way I am naming my child after a transvestite crack hore.

Anyhoo this time around I am revisiting names from my old list and discover I still like them, one that I really liked last time as I was convinced I was having a boy was Noah. This time I feel like I am having another girl, do you think Noah can be a girls name? I think it is so lovely for girl as it sounds earthy and patient. I thought about dropping the H and making Noa. I know this word is used often spoken in Maori but I cannot nail down exactly its meaning as I have found about 75 uses for the word but none of them really clear for me. Does anyone know?

I also found out that Noa is commonly Noah in Hebrew mis-spelt and supposedly come from a word similar to 'movement' I must ask my friend Cathie if this is so as you know that heaps of crap is online. If movement is correct then is very apt as this bubba is a non stop groover.

Other potential names include Jorja Mae, Neave for a girl. Kirwin, Nathaniel or Jeremiah for a boy. I also have another dilemma, my sister lost a child Mary to cot death when I 12. We were very close and till this day I can barely speak of her without crying for the loss not just of Mary but more for my sisters pain. Although Mary is not on the top of my must have names but I feel if I was strong enough I would give this as a middle name out of respect, or would that be to painful my sister? I also wonder about the bad omen side of things. As it is still very much a raw open wound for my family asking if it would be ok would be very hard and knowing my sister even if she hated the thought of it would never say.

What to do.

Welcome to Momma's grand ole tinny house

Today's apperitifs du jour will mainly consist of Pamol followed by Pamol with Pamol. Ah Mummies little helper. You guessed it my angel in during the wee hours of this morning has evolved into a wet nosed snot goblin or more accurately a snot a gobbling. Yummy.

How do you teach a child to blow her nose when she equates all face wiping with stubbing out ciggarettes in her eye balls.

We have had a good wicket of it really as it has been well over a year since she or myself have had a cold. The good thing is I am getting many cuddles from my sick child ahhhhhh I now have insight why some mummies choose to dust their offspring's doughnuts in arsenic, they are just cuddle deprived. Teach the little beggers for witholding love. They learn that so early.

Poor timing on Ella's behalf to get unwell as today was the only free day we had this week and I had many a plan of how to fill in the day including the 'I would rather file my toenails with a band saw' than purchase some sensible cotton spinaker like maternity knickers as I am sick of my unelasticated arse covering sacks from the last exspansion(which horrifically have become my staple favourites)

Great, I am now my mother. Except she is much slimmer.....shall I hurl myself under a bus now or wait until the final nail will be purchasing size 16 knickers while standing next to a Kate Moss waif holding little lace anal floss in a size 6.

Or perhaps I should just feed myself another Doughnut.

Super 14

I need a serious talking to. Tonight is the night the second semi final for the Super 14 , comfortable favourites Canterbury Crusaders Versus underdog The Blue Bulls. Last nights match was fantastic The Mighty Hurricanes Versus New South Wales Warratahs, super game and of course we were victorious.....just.

Essentially tonights game is New Zealand Versus South Africa. Since I do live in Caterbury you would think that wanting Canterbury to win would be a no brainer. Unfortunately, I just cannot do it, I tried BUT I cannot possibly support a canterbury team as they have the most appalling bunch of one eyed, poor sports of supporters. Having spent much time at Jade stadium over the years and each and every time I am disgusted with the same behaviour. Oh my god I sound old!

Do not get me wrong, to have two NZ teams in the final of the Super 14 is an outstanding reflection of the depth and strength of New Zealand rugby but why can it not be any other team but Canterbury.

Goodbye Stinky

Success! I know you did not believe I would go through with it, today I finally packed up my husbands 'destroyer of all' Pooch and shipped her off to spend her new life with her new dad. After four weeks of trying to find the perfect home and sifting through all the rejects, many of whom I would not leave my pot plants with. Finally I found the perfect chap. She has actually been there since Wednesday but today we went to check to make sure everything was ok and you could tell they had bonded and she really was being spoilt.....................mind you she had already dug two holes!

Looky Looky

Here is the first paparazzi of my ever increasing bundle of joy, Boy? Girl? It was so lovely to see them and so very active!!!!! I think we will be in for a shock. However I am pleased to report that all is growing perfectly!

How very lucky

A friend of mine has just won as Australian and New Zealand short story writing competition. How exciting. Chrissie is a fabulous writer and has been writing for many many years with many published works and books. Imagine that, getting paid for what you love to do. Mind you I have not actually asked her if she still loves what she does. I wonder if or when it changes from a passion to a job.

I love to write, I have no gift for the English language and as to exactly what gramma is, don't ask me! I can barely spell let alone construct a correct sentence. I actually got a book out of the library once with the intention of teaching myself grammar. I guess I had to wash my hair that week and never got around to doing it.

I do remember one particular part of that book that said something along the lines of every writer has a style whether it be one of traditional construction or more casual, it is what makes stories interesting. However, before one changes the stucture of grammar, one must know the rules. So I CAN write stories that would make my fifth form english teacher shudder as long as I understand the mistakes I am making.

One day, all in good time. Incidently fifth form was the last time I did English, I absolutely hated it. More interested in planning the weekend and of course BOYS.

Finally here

Today marks the twelve week mark of my pregnancy. We all hold our breathe up until this point and then collectively breathe a sigh of relief.

Well I am here but feeling no such signs of relaxing. I guess it is more of that not counting chickens before the hatch. Still very nevous for obvious reasons, but the good news is although I am still chronically tired but I only feel like vomiting for half the day! Wahoo

Starting to rapidly expand as well, I am going to be the bohemith!

Cringe.....baby brain!!

Romantic Thought #5764

As winter is approaching and CH is old and perhaps even warty. All the broken bones of his past just seem to ache and of course with this comes the accompanied moans.

Purchase, fabulous muscle soak. Find candles, blow off dust from last romantic encounter. Place candles all around the bathroom, including on corner PLASTIC soap/shampoo holder. Place CH in bath with book.

Cue rapidly spreading fire that destoys whole plastic thingy and fills pleasantly scented bathroom with thick choking fumes and black bits floating throughout the house.

Clever girl.

Mmmmm Irvines cheesy goodness

Not to sound shy of a under arm razor but in my life to date I have always believed in listening to what your body is saying. Now I am not talking about that wee voice that tells you that picking your nose in the car is completely cloaked from vision from all passing vehicles but the one that actually gives you cravings for an orange when days later a cold hits.

I have always been Mrs Higher than thou canned food and have tradtionally thrown looks of scorn at convenience fare. Until now. I have just finished tucking into Instant cheesy mashed potatoes, microwaved frozen baby peas and a Irvines Mince and chees pie drowned in watties and I enjoyed every moment of it and am actually considering heating up another pie.

As far as cravings go, what nutritional value could this night plat du jour have given to my unborn child. Perhaps it is just a blip and I shall go back to my wholesome food devouring self.

The thought of healthy alternatives is currently turning my stomach.

What a day

Yesterday could have been the longest day of my life. We had an emergency scan booked in for 5pm to see if we were still pregnant. Thankfully my mid wife did not tell us we were going in until about 3pm so I only had a couple of hours to dwell on what I thought was the most likely outcome.

I just felt numb lying on the hospital bed as they put the warm jelly on my jelly belly, I could not look at CH while they were searching for the baby and there it was a whopping four cm's with a regular heartbeat, Friggin fantastic. I stopped bleeding about 4ish yesterday as to why, I have no idea. I am still really not at ease in the slightest, I am nervous and do not know whether I will be telling you some horrid news in the next couple of weeks but for now I will rest and be trying on some positive thoughts.

I still have to believe in everything happens for a reason and for the best outcome.

I will be mostly concentrating on breathing for the coming weeks. I can still feel my heart beating in my ears and I feel tired to the bone, mentally exausted.

CH was fantastic, I had always felt with the last pregnancy that it just passed him by and was not really a reality for him until she was here. This one is different he wants it just as much as I do and was terribly upset yesterday but still my rock.

I am terrified

I am ten weeks pregnant and this morning I have just started bleeding. The first thing my mid wife asked was did I still feel pregnant. What scares me most is that I feel well. I am so very scared and upset, I know it is not a done deal yet but I have no idea what to expect, I am helpless and terrified.

I am well informed and knew that this was on the cards and women can bleed early on and be fine but I am so very sad, I just want to know so I can get on. How long do I have to wait?

Relax, don't think about, yeah real easy, to get that I need total sensory depravation, Chemical assistance would be wonderful if only it was a option.

Diving in Dahab

Here is the first and last time I expect I will be in Dahab, we had the most amazing time there, the diving was the best I have ever experienced. We spent a week or so there just lounging about and trying in vain to avoid the bedouin children, without exageration they were the most foul mouthed horrible kiddies I have ever met.

They made and sold cotton bracelets and you were doing ok if you only bought a few a day in fact if you failed to buy you where a 'soone ov a beech' god bless tourist who taught them english. On one I these days I remember asking one of these little girls what she would like to do when she grew up and she replied very matter of factly that she wanted to learn to cook chicken and that was it. I also remember the vast amount of friendly cats that live there which I loved as being so far away from my cat and anything familar. Morrocan Hash was another thing I remember all too well and the dodgy bugger we got it off gosh we did some stupid stuff, however Dahab was and I bet is still a most fantastic place and I hope tourist are not put off as they are needed by so many.

I hope my wee girl will learn to cook her chicken.

Anzac Day

With yesterdays downpour we decided not to attend a dawn parade and I must admit to being thankful we did not go. As emotions go it is normal for me to become overwhelmed especially when you see others pain. I decided to watch as much of the TV coverage as I could yesterday and was surprised to fine myself in uncontollable tears for much of the day. I am an open festering wound of emotions with my heart firmly pinned to my sleeve. It is so horrible.

Hopefully I am over the worst.

Here is a picture I took three years ago yesterday on the the long walk from Anzac Cove to our New Zealand Anzac memorial. One of my most treasured memories.

Family ties

You would not read about it, well actually you are. After my rampant whingeing from last weekends onslaught of family, a new bunch took it upon themselves to arrive for the entire weekend just gone and only left yesterday.

I need a holiday.

However, I had the most amazing experience that absolutely made my weekend. I generally am not interested in birds, in fact as pets I think what a waste of time. I do however love owls and fantails. Around our property for the last week or two there has been what I thought was a lone fantail and have been worried about it versus my cat. I must admit to being more than a little superstious on the subject of having them the house but I love them all the same. On saturday, just before twilight I heard my fantail calling so I went out on the deck to say hello, there was six of them all flying aound me dancing too and fro so I went and got some bread and they took turns eating from my hand, it was lovely and they were more delicate yet scratchy than I could ever imagined. As soon as they heard the gate open and the family arrive home they were gone and it felt like I had imagined the whole thing, but still it made my night.

Just call me the fantail whisperer.

nasty piece of work

Yes thats me for I have started something quite naughty. I have put CH's dog on Trade Me with every intention of getting rid. Do I tell him before or after, oh god I guess I will have to make it his idea. Anyway I have had some interest, quite surprising, I just have to close the deal.

If needs must!!!!!!!

Don't judge me!.............................is it just me or is this phrase everywhere on American programmes, it really does work in many situations, go on try it today, steal your workmates lunch from the fridge "Dont judge me!" spend all your partners hard earned cash "Dont judge me!"

Petrol prude

Friggin marvellous, petrol has gone up yet again, 12cents in the last week! MOFO, At this rate I will have to join the unwashed masses and learn how to take the bus. I have taken the bus everywhere else in the world but for some reason I find myself a bit shy to take one here.

De da ding ding ding ding ding.......................................

Surely being Slothful is not a sin

I have done nothing this week and only just contemplating leaving the house for the first time this week. The last month has been a hard slog the Thursday just gone marked the end of a twenty day, no days off stint by CH. This of course meant twenty days having to do everything around the house whilst being barely able to scrape my nausea ridden body off the floor.

That Thursday was to be the start of three glorious days together as a family, unfortunately I underestimated the power of family. Blessed relations turned up quite by surprise on Thursday evening, to stay for the night. They left Sunday...........sigh.

However as I am the biggest kid on Easter so this gave me the excuse I needed to fully cater for the event, lots of fantastic food and all homemade treats of course. Ella awoke to a cot full of chocolate, slightly mean as she sleeps with mittens on so they were my insurence policy to a non chocolate covered baby, CH also stashed all of my favorite chocolately treats around the house for me to find all day, lovely.

Have I mentioned that Ella is walking now, this has truly added new dimesion to my day.

Thanks for coming and goodbye

It is a sad day today. Someone I knew lost her baby yesterday, she was just a few weeks ahead of myself. What to do and what to say, I have no idea. It was to be her first child and I recall when it was my first child the thought of loss was too much to bear. Now, not to wish this unfortunate event upon myself but I am so very aware of what can go wrong and I sure hope I am prepared should something happen to us.

The girl I speak of is one of the loveliest girls I know with an amazing smile and a laugh so hearty you cannot help but be swept up in. I have no doubt that she will somehow blame herself or her past choices. Blame, who came up with that word....miraculously invented to cast our doubts on others so we can feel better. Then why when we cannot possibly feel any more pain we single handedly take all resposibility from all that has occured and try to drown ourselves with the weight of it.

I have always believed everything happens for a reason and as much as I thought this wonderful lady was so ready to be a mother her time was not right and I hope she can find comfort in the fact that yes something was wrong and rather the humanity of ending a not yet fully formed life than to bring a child into the world that may have had terrible problems or life threatening consequences for the mother.

I myself made a decision for a termination many years ago and I know it was the right choice at the time. I had much guilt on this and felt as though giving up that child was like returning a gift and perhaps I did not deserve another. In my own mind I thanked the little one for coming and said now is not the best time but I would like a chance when the time was right. However as much as I believe in Kharma and you may have to call me Earl from now on, the fact of the matter is that bad things happen to good people everyday.

My boss at the time found out about what I had been going through and sent me around to his wife, now this lady had the reputation of being the Devil incarnate and I had no idea why I was going there for as I had never even really spoken to her before. As it turns out she had made similar choices in her life and years later after having her own child she went to a Psychic who said to her that there was a unborn child, a girl who wanted a name. It freaked me out no end but somehow comforting that there was a soul that could be reborn.

Who knows the freaky Psychic lady may have been a hack but has unknowingly reached and helped others get through situations.

I know my friend will get through this with the love and stength of others around her, I just hope and pray that she is healthy enough in mind to let go and come out with as little scarring as possible. Above all know it was through no fault of her own.

xxxxxxx

Fabulous Day

Today is all about glorious weather, although we are fast moving into autumn the day could not have been more lovely. Hagley Park is fantastic this time of year the trees are just starting to turn into a golden hue, There was a slight breeze today which made all the leaves fall down around when you walked, truly uplifting. Here is a shot of Lily and Ella taking advantage of the carpet of leaves.

Cravings unleashed

As I already am a mass 4kgs larger than when I last carried a child, my ambition this time around is NOT to crack the 100kg mark. Unfortunately although I feel like bringing up my inners on an hourly basis, being a dedicated foodie I seem to manage to get ahold of exactly what I feel like. Little and often seems to be the key.

Currently my main squeeze is hot salty chips, stewed tomatoes followed by generous portions of caramellow chocolate. Both the tomatoes and caramellow have never been a favourite.

My climb the wall hate list is CHICKEN, disgusting horrible steriodial beasts that lie sweating in plastic film on meat sanitary pads in supermarkets everywhere. Perhaps I could try an organic farm killed bird and see if the taste and texture is better than the current cheap supermarket chick that just makes my stomach turn. It just feels wrong, like eating the pig that ate your family kind of wrong.

The weather here today is wonderful with blue skies, white fluffy clouds and brilliant sunshine I intend to go gardening and have a last hurrah with the outdoors before the trappings of autumn finally snuff out summer.

Here we go again

Currently listening to,
Oupps I did it again, courtesy of CH, all the while stealing snatches of movies "Look at what I have created!!!" Followed by general swagger and chest puffing as I write.

It is going to take me days to take the air out of this new found confidence.

As you may have guessed we are pregnant again. Absolutely rapt. I had my first mid wife appointment yesterday although only eight weeks along she said that they see second time Mothers much earlier as the risk of losing your second child is higher than most.

I am so very aware of this, But it would not be me if I did not prepare for the worst but I am quietly confident whatever will be, will be. How incredibly adult or numb, take your pick.

In the reality according to me, I had convinced myself of the following,

As my first preganacy made me feel god awful sick then it is only fair that my second will be different and nausea free.

To be sure, it be different. It is cleary MUCH MUCH worse. I have been so very unwell over the last few weeks. I have even been having Nana Naps as I am exausted. It is so bad I stuggle to keep awake at traffic lights. It is like jet lag but much worse. I always carry on, everything always happens and everything is always fine. It is currently not. That pisses me off more than anything. I apparently have lost my super human powers. I will check later for the old Kryptonite under the bed trick.

So as per usual I am on a few supplements to make me feel better and make my baby more clever. Omega 3 for brain development is currently a favourite as you burp a smell that is reminicent of eating three day old fish and chips and reheating them in the microwave. What better experience could you give a person with a horrifically weak stomach.

Emotions are back on track I spent an afternoon crying at an Oprah celebrating 20yrs re-run.

All going well the due date is November the 19th. Blooming fantastic as this year I do not miss out on Christmas ham and trifle. A pre-requisite or wait another year.

Right that is all I have in me today, for something the size of a peanut they sure are causing some difficulties. Nana nap awaits.

Spare the rod and spoil the child?

Given Ella's parentage it always a matter of WHEN naughty and cunning showed up. The time is well and truly here, although some would call it 'exploring her surroundings' why does if feel like all out war. She is constantly 'exploring' new ways to push my buttons with obvious ease.

Most days I can laugh off all attempts to destroy potplants, the resetting of all appliances, surfaces cleared of clutter, broken and smashed irreplaceable objects, cat food spreaded liberally over kitchen, toilet paper from one end of the house to the other. Most of the time you can blame it all on yourself for letting these things happen, I should have been more watchful.

The there are the days when you are not at the top of your game, feeling unwell and you could stubbornly choose to stand your ground rather than choose your battles. To smack or not to smack is the question?

As a overly smacked child it is always my first reaction to want to disipline my offspring with a firm whack on the hand. I have often said it did not hurt me as a child, perhaps the damage done is in my reaction to want to hit my child.

STOP has been working effectively for the last few months but now does not quite have the same impact. At the moment I am trying to teach Ella that when the animals are in their bed they are to be left well alone. She is so rough and it is only a matter of when the cat or dog will next strike. As I said STOP has been working perfectly, when that failed I have picked her up and placed her in her bedroom. Many tears. Now I say STOP, she looks at me and reaches over and grabs at the cat and tries to get as many pokes in the eye in before I get to her. I give her a smack on the hand(she laughs), pick her up and carry her to the bedroom. She now plays in her room and no tears. What to do???

I am currently reading a couple of books on the subject and find it as fun as chewing tinfoil as I am so not in to airy fairy bullocks.

I guess from here on in it will be difficult at times and everyday she will throw a new groove into the mix just incase I get too used to something. I guess at the moment she is too young to voice how she is feeling or explain the method to her madness.

By gum she has a hell of a temper on her. She has just started to 'Play'(which is so cute) she has this phone she talks into and then holds it out to you like 'its for you' I speak into it and give it back, on about the tenth phone call for me I say "No honey it is for YOU, you talk on the phone" God damn the reaction is like an explosion, tears, back arching as she really is trying to say the phone is not for her.

I no longer want to play that game.

Bless Jeanette

It has to be said, today I like this lady. Coming out in front of all and drawing attention to all the Mud slinging that has plagued parliament of late and to remind her collegues that they were resposible for a country. (pan camera to shocked looking collegues speech bubble appears "bugger I knew I was here for something"

Jeanette is only saying what we have all been thinking. In fact to be frank I have not been thinking terribly hard about our Politicians and their school ground bully tactics. I have just been so very very bored with all the and I have not even watched Parliamentry question time in months.(used to be a fav) I guess I had rolled over and was waiting with pants around ankles to be screwed over yet another stupid legislation or broken promise.

As our publicly elected representitives in Parliment, they are supposed to give us a voice. Our so called leaders and their actions and the way they have made me feel personally, is by far their greatest crime. How dare they take away my interest in how our county is run, steal my passion in the development of our nation for my family to grow up in. The bored me beyond caring. I sneer at all things remotely like reality tv, so even if we could vote off our MP's it would not make it more interesting for me.

I have been reading a few American blogs of late, I have zero comprehension of their political system(I have been trying to learn) but the thing that stands out most of all is that most people really care about what is happening to them. We just go day to day, lacking all hope that we can make a difference. We just give up, shrug our shoulders and she'll be right.

I fear it wont be. I do wish I was more clever to be able to make a difference.

At the moment media and the opposition is most concerned with digging up the dirt on all. In particular Investigate magazine, oh dear, Ian is single handedly wearing the ears of three of our politicians around his neck. Look who cares, do you want a bunch of insipid, dudley-do-rights running our country, Hell NO!! I want my fair share of dodgy rouge business operators, adulterous arse slapping wankers, hairy under armed organic pee drinking lesbians, child smacking sheep shagging farmers and men who do NOT have sexual relations with that woman.

Why? Because that is how it is, not all of us are as pure as the driven rain and the god honest truth is I want intelligent and interesting people running our country, not NICE people. Most of the successful people I know are arseholes who have left their boot marks on many a people to claw their way to the top of their game. But I still like them as long as it is not me with a foot print marking my face.

I do not want people running our country that basically buried a Carter Holt Harvey in a former life.

Austalian Cyclone

I wonder how it is going, I am nervous for them. It feels a little too close to home. At least I guess the positive if there is much damage at least news coverage will be on a grand scale give the world media coverage due to the Commonwealth Games.

Hopefully minimal damage with few lives lost.

Still no cell phone

Yes it is true I am still cell phoneless and the weird thing is that CH offered to get me a new one and I fobbed him off as I am enjoying not being able to be contacted. I reccomend it.

I know something you dont know.

Yes I am crap with secrets and I have one. There crisis averted.

Fancy schmancy Mrs I do not know a thing doctor pants

As my title perhaps does not clearly outline my feelings on the subject, it will not shock you to know that we have absolutely no firm idea on Ella temperatures. Perhaps we would have had more luck if we had taken her to the vet as they are well used to patients not being able to tell them exactly what is wrong.

They told us most likely that even though Ella's temp skyrockets every month without fail at the exact time with no other cold or flu like symptoms that it is most likely a coincidence and she is just getting viral colds.

Even though it is always exactly one week before my period and even when the temp came one week early so did my period. This is once again a coincidence.

I am no doctor and I know nothing of the ins and out of the human body but I know nothing else on a four week schedual. To completely discount it seems a little narrow minded.

But having said that she is well again and who knows that may be the last one. To satisfy my own feelings I am now going to attempt to wean her as if I am passing on some hormones to her at that time of the month I would rather stop now. This could be a trying time.

Parenting skills courtesy of National Radio

I find that one I write things down it commits the knowlege more to memory. This is one of those wee dittys I hope to remember in about twelve years.

I was listening to a child psychologist on National Radion not long ago and although I did not agree with all that he said I found this bit fairly true and I had neverthought of it in this light.

Sorry I wish I knew his name so I could give credit but he said something along the lines of,
Imagine Great Uncle Harry lives with you and he is of course very old,senile,you name it. You take in a cup of tea and he tells you to fuck off and he that he does not need your help. I imagine you would just back off and that would be the end of it. Why then, when our teenage children say the same thing to us do we get so upset? We must remember that teenage years is more like a sickness than anything else as it does not resemble normal life or feelings just like Great uncle Harry. So we should learn to be a bit kinder to ourselves.

Booey for Hughie

You may or may not know this but my favourite television channel is the food channel and to meet me in person you could guess this to be true. Like anyone I have my favourite programmes, favourite chefs and of course the ones who make my skin crawl.

One of my least favourites would be Hughie on one of his appalling attempts at entertainment, imagine my disgust when I discovered he was a New Zealander. Anyway in waiting for Ainsley in Ready Steady I caught the tail end of his programme and he said something that was not too bad. His advice is as follows.

"Never let your children choose what they would like to eat for dinner unless they are buying"

Hughie for the first time ever you have taught me something useful.

bored bored bored bored bored bored

They say you choose your friends and associates very carefully, hopefully you should have people around you that you admire and aspire to be like. Mostly all of my friends are Mummy's. Since I have done that, whats next?

Not that I have anything against Mummy's as they are a gorgeous bunch of ladies all up to their armpits in Napisan and coffee groups.

God, I hate coffee groups. Who invented coffee groups? Mr bushells, you clever clever bastard.

I think all of this thought just means that although I have a Mummy badge to stick on my stretch marked boob chest this does not mean I have lost all creative desire outside of making things for a smelly baby. I have so many ideas and always have so many projects on the go but I also need to learn, I feel I need to be part of a creative coven where I can be inspired by and truly have awe for. Motivation is a big part of it as I am always so very bloody tired. I have just started a course of vitamins so preparing for energy as we speak, or type or should it be read?

I have looked into a few courses at the local high school, it embarrases me to admit this....but.......I truly seem to have a problem with television. We do not have a video so taping my beloved programmes is not an option. I cannot choose which programmes not to watch, I am so very weak.......................................Damn your good looks Patrick Dempsey, curse that stupid island and who needs to watch that Hugh Laurie with a walking stick.........um yes that would be me.

The Joys of Motherhood

After our doctors visit yesterday we had to do a series of tests. Firstly a urine test, fairly easy as we have done a couple before, basically duc taping a bag to her sterile girlie bits. Home and Bathed and put on the first bag, going well until the little bugger shat herself. Oh well cannot helped, off comes the bag trying to take a little skin as possible.

Back in the Bath.

Out of the bath, dried off and heading to put on the next bag.
Before the bag goes on she piddles all over me.

Back in the bath.

Dried, finally got bag on, Ella is very chuffed at this point.
I decided not to put a nappy on as I had no succes before doing this way.
To calm the angry beast I gave her a treat and let her snuggle in and sleep on me, halfway through Antiques Roadshow I then discovered that the bag does not even get a teaspoon of fluid as my crotch wore the rest.


Off to the lab clutching urine sample and now to a blood test. I had not given the blood test much thought, I assumed it would be quick and easy as a normal blood test. My first indication of the degree of difficulty was when the nurses argued over whom was doing it as neither of them wanted to. Then a series of tornequets trying to find a vein without success and a very miserable child. Finally they stuck a needle down the side of her thumb and manually filled up some vials by milking the thumb drop by drop. Brutal.

Last night she finally slept throught the night. Yay! Pity I didn't.

Is it the weekend yet?

It is only Wednesday and I am exausted. On Monday we were told by the hospital that they had not got around to cancelling our appointment for Ella. FANTASTIC.

Yesterday, some mad woman lets call her 'Beitch Trish' left a message on our answer phone asking us if we were attending the appointment or not. I called her straight back not more than five minutes after she left the message and she was SORRY but she had just given our appointment away and the next best thing she could do was slot us in for May!

I then explained that it had already been taken care of by a lovely Lady named Dot. Beitch Trish then said once again she was SORRY, not her fault and if someone else had done their job correctly there would be no problem and if I wished I could complain, then she hauls Dot to the phone to apologise directly. I was so embarressed for Dot as this Beitch Trish was clearly a workplace bully. I then explained to Dot I was not grumpy at her and could not be helped and then said that I hoped she was not going to be give a hard time by the bully. I could almost hear her grimace over the phone and she said 'yes, you are right, but leave it with me and I will call you back later'

I hate women like Trish constantly flustered over anything, everything is a huge problem, they feel it is all up to them to single handedly fix everthing, with no resources as no one else does their job as well as they do. They are the only employees to ever follow rules to the letter and if it is not in the manual it cannot be done.

Bless Dot she called the person whom our appointment had been given to and they agreed to go back to their old appointment one week later, what a star. I thank you both.

We are off to the Doctors again this morning as although Ella's Temp broke on Monday night she is still off her food and looks terrible, still cries most of the time and last night she broke out in a rash. Oh, I was cool for about five minutes then PANIC. You know stomach falling and hearing the blood pulse in your ears.

My first reaction of course was to firmly believe we were silly and how embarrasing it would be to rush her to hospital like overprotective parents.......Honestly , I need my head read. We decided a happy medium was to call the plunket hotline and they were fantastic and got the most amazing and informed Nurse to call and walk us through what we feared might be Menb. What a night.

Incidently the plunket 24hour hotline is 0800 933 933 you never know when you will need it and they also will put you through to other services that you may need but have no idea what the o800 is.

What is hope without foolishness

We have been waiting for a specialist important since last year for our Daughter who mysteriously has a temperature of over 40 for three to four days every month. Last month was the first time it only lasted 24 hours so of course it could have been something else so perhaps she had finally outgrown whatever it was. On Friday I cancelled the appointment we had been waiting for. As someone else may need it more than us. Stupid, Stupid behaviour, when am I going to learn not to put others first as what goes around does not seem to come around. But still I will always have hope.

Friday night Murphys law bit me on the arse and we have been battling a sick shild ever since. She has slept in our bed for the last three nights whimpering and wriggling, she has never slept in our bed and as I had almost no sleep I do not wish her to sleep with us again.

I left a message for the hospital yesterday, I hope they can squeeze me back in.

Dumb Dumb Dumb

Word of the week

It has been quite some time since I have been courted by the Dictionary. I had an ambition a few months ago to have a 'Word of the week', from memory I have had one word so to be more accurate we shall be calling this 'Word of the quarter'

To be honest I have not found any words lately that I would invite to join my vocabulary. To my dismay many authors in Particilar Mr Robert Jordon seem to just make up words willy nilly as I cannot find many of them in a normal source.

However this one that suits my mood

Maudlin - Foolishy or tearfully sentimental

Supposedly derived from Mary Magdalene in describing the depictions of her, paintings often reflecting sadness that was her life and often she was weeping in potraits. The story goes that the G was dropped and today the spelling of the word has followed the pronounciation.

In fact in centries past women who have fallen from grace was often referred to as Mawdelens and their babies known as Mawdlens

Stangely enough since the church no longer considers Mary Magdelen a woman of easy virtue she is now the patron saint of repentant sinners. Her feast day is July 22nd.

Every cloud...................something about a lining

As a wee bonus to the continuing saga of life without text ability. I have indeed discovered it gives me freedom I have not had since I first got a cell phone. No bugger knows where I am or can not get ahold of me on a whim. This includes CH. It is killing him. However I am playing this game well as if I do not moan about not having a cell phone to CH, act carefree and ensure I am not reachable all day until he comes home in the evening. Soon, Grasshopper I will have a phone without asking for it or feeling the need to make up for it.

Cunning, me thinks.

We had joy we had fun eating bogeys in the sun..but the sun got too hot and the bogeys turned to snot!

If today is the standard for the coming days weather wise then these Sunflowers may be the last of my golden summer.

As I have said our weekend was fabulous in Nelson and the Mid-simmer like temperatures was no exception. Thankfully we missed the obvious terrible weather that happened in our absence. We came home to find my garden in rack and ruin with sunflowers uprooted and severed and I had to desperately slash broken stalks to rescue the sunny blooms.

These Sunflowers have been amazing, I love the rich amber hue rather than just canary yellow. There has been up to 50 flowers on the one stalk. Of course it is all due to my horticultural prowess. I have been calling these Ella's sunflowers as I hope to every year grow some of the seeds and enjoy them all over again. Not to mention forcing them all on friends and family as cheap but heartfelt presents.

I do not know where you are but today, but where I am, there is autumn in the air. I actually had to stop pegging the clothes on the line so I could warm my fingers. I also cursed my choice of footwear as the grass needs a mow and was sodden with cold dew. It feels too early, it was only yesterday jandals and flip flops seemed the right attire.

I am not ready to loose summer, I have been so busy over the last year time seems to have gone without the courtesy of a goodbye. Enough moaning as I have much to do, with the onslaught of winter I have much preparation to be done in my garden as of yet I have found no one else to do it. Sigh, must clean windows as I have been meaning to do this since spring, oh well it will happen.

Nightmares are made from pink bears?

We have just returned from a fabulous wee holiday in Nelson where we celebrated our Ella-Raines first birthday.

Loads of friends who spoilt her rotten, in fact we nearly did not have enough room in the car for the journey home with all the hoard.

Look at the cake, Nana spent absolute hours on this cake but unfortunately Ella did not seem very thankful at all. Both Ballons and Bear cake terrified the hell out of her.

We had such a lovely time with our friends up there, I must admit to be wondering why we live so far away.

Oh could it be the high price of Real Estate coupled with the very low wage. Sadly yes. I had a look at the local property press while I was there and found it very depressing as they are are calling 300k a first home buyers range. That is double what we payed for our home and we can barely afford the repayments as it is let alone double them. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Then I guess you too put your mobile through a full wash cycle. Here I am sulking in the barren wasteland of textlessness, trying hard to convince myself that it is not the end of the world. It is not so much losing all of my numbers, or the fact I may have to actually talk to someone in order to get an answer to a question.

I have lost some things that can never be replaced, first photos of my new born baby, first noises, snoring, giggles, wee pick me ups if ever I needed one and now all gone.

Off to Nelson

Its that time again I should be packing and sorting much out as we are leaving for Nelson on Wednesday night. I have much to do and I have decided to preserve things, messy, time consuming and did not need to be done. I am purely insane, why do I put such pressure on myself. Not to mention we are having a Birthday party for Ella and I should be making Eclairs and cakes and such like. I do this often and make things hard upon myself it is a disese, yesterday prime example I was mowing the lawns and the washing was dry so I should have removed it off the line to make mowing much easier, instead I decided it would be much more of a challenge if the washing was still there. Perhaps I need to work again.

Preserving Time

Here lies the barren wastes of my labour, this Triffid like tangle is all that remains of 10kgs of ripe tomatoes.

The fruits of my labour are large jars of homemade spaghetti and bottles of homemade tomato sauce. If you have not tried homemade spaghetti then you must still be eating the tinned crap with who knows what lives in that flavourless insipid sauce. I am not much of a fan at all of the bought stuff but the home made is fantastic and I encourage you all to make the most of all the sauce tomatoes around at the moment and make something that is not only tasty, cheap as chips and above all filled with real tomato goodness. Yes, it is work but it is so worth it.

I need not tell you how great my house is smelling at the moment.

The Ugly

As with all family occasions there has to be some events to keep people talking until the next family knees up. Normally it is CH disgracing himself in some showoff manner.

This year the highlights would include.

The dance off.
A huge dancing circle with everyone taking individual turns in the center to revive some eighties classics like, The lawnmower, the umpire, the basketball player and who could forget the fisherman reeling in his bride. As I was sober I could only look on with wonder.

Rhys, CH's younger brother doing a nude streak at the after match function and the only way I knew it was him as people thought he was still wearing a vest(he is very hairy) This is the same fellow who helped CH light the fireworks at the end of the evening and then proceeded to kick them over so they went of in the direction of CH! All the guests had to run for cover. Kids were crying!

Hoover, CH's father who supposedly got that nickname in his youth as he always picked up bits of fluff! Yawn. We normally have a sweepstake running to when he will hit the ground, first one being when he ran into a shut glass door. Not pretty and I think it dislodged a few screws as later in the evening he was found to be painting the wall in the hall. Some would say dedicated to be working on his day off except it was imaginary paint and imaginary roller the funny part was he actually tripped over on an imaginary paint tray and landed on his back. Bloody funny.

The Bad

Imagine my surprise to be sharing a plate of petit fours with Good old Great Aunty Gwenda. No I do not mean the surprise of me sharing a plate of puddings but to be sharing it with a dear old lady whom I had just met. Little did I know she is beelzebub.

I had been enlisted by the family to keep the dear old soul under control as she has a wee problem with the drink on the account of it being likely to kill her and she was not going to disgrace herself on my watch. Of course she was allowed a small tipple and who was I to begrudge a seventy year old, man the family must be uptight what could she possibly do?

Well there I sat laughing and chatting with this lady who was a wealth of knowlege and then it happened.

She started off by saying how wrong her sister is.(Ella's great grandmother) Hey no arguments from me over that one. Then she launched into how lovely Ella is all rounded cheeks of squishy goodness. Yep, no disputing that. Then she mentioned how it is not Ella's fault she was not as pretty as the other grandchildren and she could never compete for affection but it was ok because Great old Aunty Gwenda still loved her!

It was at that point I stopped drinking as the urge for jollification had waned and all I could think about was at least seven ways I could quickly shut the raving bitch up. The cake fork was looking very appealing.

As you could imagine I was seething and still could not really believe what this walking relic bathed in April Violets was saying. I was dumbfounded. I had enough senses to quickly gather two bottles of wine, opened them and left her to it.

I have no idea whether she was lying and just trying to sew her sister up. I have gathered that this could be the case but she seemed so nice. On the day we left went to see Ella's great grandmother to say goodbye as it was only the second time she had seen Ella she promptly asked where the baby was as she wanted to take the baby to meet her neighbour. Cool I have no problems with that, all nana's want to show off their family. But as it turns out she was not meaning Ella but was talking about her cousin. At this stage I was very sensitive.

The Good

As you all know I have just gotten back from a wee holiday in Wellington and it was fantastic. I adore our capitol city and would live there in a heartbeat. The weather was amazing, the wedding was wonderful and I must say how beautiful women look on their wedding day. I of course was completely paled in comparison to my cherub in pink, she really did look lovely.

We stayed out in Trentham as the wedding was at the raceway but the great thing about that was I got to ride the train. Oh this just reeks of hick behaviour but as Christchurch has no such transport I was like a kid in a candy shop finding my way around. The best part was catching up with a friend I have not laid eyes on in nearly seven years! She was amazing, unchanged and to be more accurate she was just so darn cool. It was then I realised just how fifties houswifeish I have become. Oh well my choice but I have so much more to give. Hold on while I write a note on my high prority thngs to do list on the fridge. ' Must find a new creative outlet other than pickles'

I adore Wellington center and managed to not even to glance at my favourite stores, oh the pain. Damn you to hell Zambesie, tempting me with your small deposit on a house type price tags. It is such a cross to bear having champagne taste on a raro buget.

Why why why

Friday Night Football

I remember a time when I would willingly watch Rugby every Friday and Saturday evening. I would even look forward to the super 12, the 'Caines and anyone playing the Crusaders were my team. It was all great fun and a really good time for CH as he is obsessed with the game and as it turned out I have a good eye for the game.

Not anymore. I really no longer care, how odd.

I just cannot be bothered with things that I really do not want to do. Could this just be because by the end of the day of being a mum I have used up all my daily patience and good humour allowance? If thats the case CH has a bum deal.

Mind you it could be said that I am slightly bitter and twisted and harbouring naughty thoughts on CH's treatment of our trip to the Louvre. At the time when he stood around, arms crossed like a naughty bored child with his lip dragging on the well trodden parisienne floor. I do remember bullocking him and saying something along the lines of myself never ever paying any heed to any of his hobbies or interests ever again.

Perhaps this is me sticking to my word.

Finally home!

So little time

At this very moment I should have my sleeves well and truly rolled up packing for our weekend in Wellington. Unfortunately I was given a ipod that is not an ipod thingy for my birthday and I cannot leave it alone. It takes forever to rip cds so this is one of those in between times.

Had I blogged an hour earlier the content would have been filled with shocking language and just what orrifice you could stick your Samsung YH-J70. I even rean the manual! and still none the wiser.

I ended up calling a help line and the lovely chap on the end of the phone was very helpful, to start he kept going on about a Yipp?? Which of course I ignored and thought he was just saying Yep alot but as it turns out Yipp is some sort of cool acronym to rival the recognition of the ipod.

I am not sure if it will catch on quite as much.

Raylene & Jezebel's Dungeon Sex Games

Catchy title huh, well I hope so as tomorrow is of course Valentines day and being of sound mind and romance incarnate, off I went to the local supplier of dirty magazines and purchased one with that title.

Seems quite good, certainly made me feel a but funny, but who knows just how the male mind works. How do I know what he will find attractive. Of course it would be women in my likeness, stretch marked boobs, pock marked arse, wheel chair support love handles all with a bikini line that needs some serious attention. Hmmn attractive, I cannot imagine why I am not gracing the cover of Foxy myself.

I imagine it would be like sending CH out to by lipstick for me 'Coral blush'!!??? With no sunscreen or moisturisers what were you thinking!!!!

Poor CH I do not think he has ever bought himself any pornography. Mostly his 'Stash' looks like he stole it from his Dad in the eighties. I guess you could call him a little prudish or one that embarresses easily but the naughty over 18 room at the local video easy will never be frequented by his lovely self. Because who knows who he might bump into on the way out!!!

I realise it may not be the most romatic gift but likely it is something he will get the best use out of as long as I know nothing about that side of things. On that note I guess what father actually has time to themselves. On the times CH is home I am almost always there so do they masterbate? DO they long for a little quality time to throw themselves around the room a bit. I have actually never asked, mind you I do not want to know either. I still consider some things private.

Did I just buy a dirty mag because it is what television has taught me about the needs of a man perhaps I should ask. Perhaps the old 'roughing up the suspect' is more a single fellows thing. Or a fellow who is getting none. Who knows I am not privvy to what is said around the beer cooler.

Oh I did actually make something for him, I made a faux ostrich skin remote holder for the couch. My second ever thing I have made on the sewing machine. It went well, not great but more than I expected from a girl that has no idea when it comes to sewing.

I am not normally into Valentines day but I guess it is just another day I have to shower CH in pressies he does not expect.

House detention

I am contemplating commiting some sort of devilish crime to get myself on home detention. Currently I will most likely blame the high pitched whine coming from our three year old fridge as being the thing to put me completely over the edge. Seriously this screech is fast becoming a consant reminder of how little things can really crawl up my arse and explode.....

Anyhoo my reasons behind the home detention idea, is I find it physically impossible to go out and not spend money. Today I went out for ribbon, mushrooms and pastry. I ended up with Burger King, four types of ribbon, cellotape, hooks and eyes, a childrens book, three types of elastic, cotton and $30 worth of groceries. Yep a quick hundy is not a problem for this no income housewife. I was asked to watch the finances this week in preperation for our Welli trip. I am going to get bullocked. Best I cook a nice dinner and put on a bit of lippy and get ready for a good snogging. Things I have to do.

Can you hear that figgin fridge? It is like nails on a blackboard laughing at me. This is a sit in. Me verses the fridge. Just how long can I put up with the Ininite screech before I call a money sucking fridge fixer fellow. Feck. Three years old. Wankers. On this occaision we did not take advantage of the 'No Worries' five year guarantee. Bugger.

This week I will mostly be eating Snicker sandwiches

As luck would have it, this week coincides with my child acting like Rosemary's Baby and my need for a pair of togs. On monday I had an attempt to procure some swimmers as luck would have it, it sale time so all swimwear has prices slashed. This is great if you are a size 8 or 16+.

I have lost a couple of kilos of late so I was feeling fairly ok about things if I ignored the area between my calves to just below my boobs.

The sad part is that the size 16 fitted well. So with screaming child in tow, shockingly well lit changing cubicles and realisation of the earlier sentence. I left. With no purchases.

Today I will make a return. Really looking forward to it.

Goodbye

It is sad but I have found something else to fill the void. What can I say it is love. All consuming visual entertainment. I am weak and TV networks are my pushers. I can hardly bear it but for the love of god do not call my place after 8.30pm. The bastards have got me hooked five nights a week. All of my favourite mind numbing tele pleasures have forced on me at once.

Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, House, Boston legal, Lost, Invasion, Commander and Chief and Medium...................and I am spent

I am aware this is not the most healthy way to spend my time but gosh I do love it. What could be better cuddling up with CH on the couch, getting my hair rubbed, nibbling on chocolate or spliting a bottle of wine and watching good programmes.

Stop pissing in my pocket and tell me it's raining!

Here is a wee ditty from the keyboard of the worlds biggest girls blouse. Mrs Howling blubbering pants. Tis I.

I know I have whinged on this subject in the past but please when is this dodgy malfunctioning emotional see-saw going to end? Yesterday prime example, I was absolutely beside myself over that south american baby fished from the river, and has consumed my thoughts since.

I am baffled as to how the mother of that child could dress the babe in all her finery and then allow her to sail away to almost certain death.

It lead me to thoughts on my own life. Poxy hormones. How could a mother say goodbye to her child? My birth mother told me a tale on how I came to the family I grew up with. I call it a tale as it is so far fetched and even though it has been proven to me to be true, it has always seemed a little unbelievable. Until now.

In the back of my mind I guess I only half believed her tale. The half that did not believe her, also thought badly of her for sending me up the river. How could she.

But she did'nt, she never said goodbye, she never got the chance.

I turned my back on her nine years ago. She has no idea I got married, travelled or that she is a grandmother. I have no idea even if she lives. Occasionally I try and search for her via the web but I am so inexperienced it is a waste of time. Besides she has changed her name a couple of times in her life, it makes sense she would do it again.

I guess although we build bridges, occaisionally some bastard puts up a toll booth.

Go buy a razor you hippy I aye

I love trees, infact my CH dislikes greatly taking me on long drives as nine times out of ten I am overlwhelmed by the look of trees and have a huge desire to capture their beauty.

Am I the only one to feel complete distaste of the public arse raping of George Bernard Shaw the Auckland property developer who felled a 100 year old Pohutakawa tree. Hmmn yes it was a very old tree by our standards and I can certinly imagine how stunning it was.

The poor bastard was lucky not to have been paraded through the streets of Auckland wearing nothing but a cardboard sign detailing his crime and having small children throw rotten vegies and cow pats at him. Now I am being silly it would not be veryNZ PC to throw actual spoiled food at him as somewhere in the world someone would have eaten it.

I do not agree with what this chap has done but what frightens me most it the loss of right to do what we wish upon our own property. Sure there are lines drawn but I am not talking about opening a kiddy fiddling knock shop that drowns puppies as a sideline. It was just a tree on the chaps property, If the public loved the tree so much perhaps they should have payed the rates for Mr Shaw.

I found the whole event 'Lord of the Flies' like, everyone involved had a blood lust gleam in their eyes and was fully willing to lynch the poor fellow, by my observations all very caught up with the moment. These are the type of people who burned witches.

It was not me, it was not you

This has been longest time without a good blogging. How the heck have I continued to live a full and rather well adjusted life without sorting my thoughts with a good blog.

Simple, everytime I had a thought I put it in my pocket and somewhere along the way I must have blooming dropped it.

Lucky for you.

A trip to the op shop

Yesterday I had nearly two hours of child free time and I choose to spend it wading through a $2 clothing warehouse. It was glorious. I adore looking through racks of clothing. I feel it is like thousands of snatches of time and I am privvy to it all. I have particular passion for homemade clothing and find it really difficult to leave one on the rack. The time and effort someone puts into an item of clothing be it out of neccesity or creative prowess I find it all rather special. My favourite item from yesterday is a slightly below the knee A-line skirt in the fabric as shown. Homemade of course with a lovely old button. I also got this green gingham dress!! I kid you not this is very Dorothy/Bretheren, homemade and I am not sure if I would wear it out side of home but I love it all the same.

Next stop aprons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Resolutions

How about trying to distress less over imaginings.

This week I week I will mostly be eating, Laxatives

Whine anyone?

I am quite the good girl nowdays. I have a Mummy badge and now the chest to pin it on.

Thankfully these days life is no longer a series of pub toilets, lipstick covered ciggarettes and the eternal search for a new and interesting beverage that automatically makes you far more fashionable than any other.

Some say most things are like riding a bike. This is not so. I am crap at drinking.

As a rule I equate New years eve with gougeing my eyes with rusty fish hooks whilist wiping my arse with sliced chillies.

This year was spent with friends, sharing children and child free time, yummy platter in the sun with a veiw of the harbour, bubbles, beer and benedictine. Followed by a fabulous brunch which was well needed as I was hung over.

Pathetic really. I was so keen to get on the road and travel home so I could sleep it off on the way, all manners were thrown out the window and I totally forgot to thank them for a lovely brunch and place to stay. I will do that later, but I still feel like crap. Today I plan to drink lots of water, eat fruit and flush out the evil.

The New Year

Christmas is over, tree is coming down, I am three kgs heavier than two weeks ago and I still feel like my eyes are two piss holes in the snow. I am actually hung over from all things christmassy. I feel like I have been on a two week drug induced bender. I still have a bit over three Kgs of choccie to eat and today will finish the christmas ham.

This week I have mostly been eating HAM

Cold ham, fried ham, ham sandwhiches, ham omelet, ham pasta, leftover ham pasta, ham and melon salad and who could forget the ham and pineapple pizza.

Not to sound ungrateful but let me just say I am not really looking forward to lunch and dinner.

Catastrophy

You could say I have an outstanding cat.

Currently she is out standing on the deck with zero chance of coming inside.

Ch is currently plotting her demise while I defend her honor without really meaning it. She has always been great with the baby, but unfortunately she 'accidently' somehow managed to sink her claws into both sides of the face just to get a grip to embed her teeth into baby's forhead.

Oh dear, and of course she is my cat. Which roughly translated, is my fault.

I have a punctured child. I was just speaking to friends yesterday about the first time we see our childs blood. Oh well at least I am over that.