Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Just a quickie,
Yes I made it well and truly through to seven nearly eight days on the diet and wow looking back it was a really hard slog, days just seem to drag for weeks. I am in day 2 of my going off the diet and I have really made a mistake and did not ease back into eating as I should have and I encourage anyone who will do the detox to take the time as your body deserves it.

How am I feeling? Empowered and really proud I could do the detox. I have a load more energy and people keep commenting on how great my skin looks. Weight loss? Who really knows as my scales are so bad that if you move them slightly around the weight really changes so of a morning I would normally move them around the bathroom until I found a happy spot. As luck would go one day after I stop detoxing and start eating I managed to catch the cold that did the round of my house last week. Should I have stopped?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Day seven!

Wow made it to here,

Doing well but blooming hungry still and cannot wait for som food, I think I will end it tomorrow. I am feeling really good. Sat night was a challenge as I had to make treats like sausage rolls for CH's poker night and yesterday he nearly lost an eye over making a Bacon Buttie WHO THE HELL WOULD FRY AND EAT BACON IN FRONT OF A STARVING WOMAN! kamakaze behaviour if you ask me.

My spuddies are up and the cows did not completely ruin the garden so I am a happy girl. The soil has a bit too much clay in it for my liking but we shall see how it goes.

Work tonight. Yehaa

Busy Busy week, but the most exciting is it is time to make my chistmas cakes! So exciting!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Wow Day 5

What a day today was. This morning 5am, put my blooming neck out, the pain was so severe that I could not move it or get to sleep again. CH, bless his cotton socks was most wonderful trying to massage my neck to get it working again while very nearly falling asleep on the job.

7am up and about as I was picking a girlfriend up at 7:30 to go for one hour walk. I was a bit nervous given I am on detox and unsure of energy levels, my neck hurt and there was no way I was putting horrid pain killers in this sacred temple and finally, my arse...........it cannot be trusted to expel wind without a toilet, let alone going for a walk without a toilet.

I also forgot to take toilet paper.

We started our walk, fabulous day up over a mountain with a track that hugged the sea views, the sun was really intense and the smell of the sea and warming sand and clay was just lovely.
Nope still no toilet.

We came across a sign on the track to show our progress and as we had already been going for half and hour, I was very suprised to see 2hrs30min remaining. "YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING?" I spat. As the walk was sold to me as a one hour package but the old bag had screwed with the truth to get us all doing it. Well I could have gone back. Instead I put my big girls pants on and got on as it really was a fabulous day and heck I was childless.

We got within 30min of our destination, awaiting water bottles and a blessed car, when the track just disappeared into the sea. We could see it pick up again on the far side of the bay.

Option 1. We could walk back the way we came.

Now as I was already late as CH knew the walk was to take one hour. I knew he would worry because of my neck and detox. Yep.....you guessed it......no cell coverage.

Option 2. Climb the rocks and cliffs around.

So we did and apart from my blooming sore neck and bitter refusal to leave my water bottle behind it was quite fun. We were walking through and being drenched by the high tide so we took our shoes off and WOW how soft are my feet! It ws blooming painful the sharp rock and shell not to mention we had to judge the waves before we moved and because I was unable to turn my head around, the sound of the waves coming was enough to make you MOVE up that bloody cliff. It is amazing how when you are robbed of one of you sensors how the others just intensify.

But we made it and yes CH was worried and abit pissed at me. Oh well.

BUT the greatest thing was My detox, I still have boundless energy! How cool is that.

Still would really like food. I still have no hunger but just a need for taste. Blasted Jase is having a poker night tonight and I had to get some 'Manfood' What I would have done to have chewed on a Pretzel, and I dislike them. Next I am cooking some sausage rolls....................this may actually kill me.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh tonight one of our neighbours had a BBQ three or four houses away and I swear to you I could smell every individual component of their meal. I said to Jase and one point that they had just put some honey soy chicken pieces on and WHO WOULD DO THAT, SUCH A MESS! and sure enough once they had cooked the teriyaki steak the smell of burning caramel filled the air.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ideal Christmas Present for the grandparents

A sign in Opotiki!

Day four ALREADY!

Actually slightly more if I think back to my last meal at 6pm Monday!!!!

How am I feeling, really quite good. No more headache, no hunger, still wanting some comfort food and OH MY GOSH I never ever realised how many fast food advertisements were on the telly! YES I STILL WANT THEM.

Salt water not even tough now, I could slurp up 2lts no problem(but I wont)

Downfalls, pimples on my back and much more emotional than usual. A jumped up little cock really upset me at work and all I could do was turn red and try really hard not to cry, rather than ripping him a new arsehole. The worst of it was I was so worked up and I could not let go that it was all I thought about all night so I now have a sore neck and shoulders from the stress. However I got up and did a vitality Pilates work out and feeling much better. Still wanting revenge however.

Hey all those who know me will know this to be truly odd BUT yesterday Jason was gone by 6am in the morning and usually I would love this and take the opportunity to sleep in BUT within 10 minutes of his leaving I was jogging around our postage sized back lawn! I KNOW! ME!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Day two

Here we are, still not hungry but wanting to have a snack just for something to do.

My salt water drink this morning was hard but I put less salt in and it was easier to drink and still had the same result.

I have a slight frontal lobe headache but apart from that all is well, there is a terrible taste in my mouth however that does not seem to vanish when I brush my teeth.

Mood? Great, perhaps a little frayed by horrid children but still studying well with a great positive outlook.

Yahoo 24 hours!

Well I made it tho the 27 hour point with no food and all limbs intact.

I have about one more small glass of my lemon concoction and a laxative teabag to drink before bed.

How am I feeling?
Actually pretty good.
No hunger pangs or stomach pains.
Yes I am starting to get a little hungry but really no different than an hour after food normally!
I have a slight headache but that could be staring for hours at a online course
I am a little cold, particulary my feet but all of this could be caused by the fact I worked nightshift last night and did not have my Nana nap this arvo.

Just reading now about other side effects and one was a foul smelling vaginal discharge! Jase cannot wait for that one and anyway just how do toxins get up my holiest of holies!

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Crew


Here are the gals with their mates on a lovely day in Opotiki, sharing swings, eating fresh berry ice cream out of our own ice cream van and playing all day.

I love our road signs!


Just outside of Whakatane on the way to Opotiki!

Suckered again!




Well no not completely suckered, I guess we have paid for a service but why then do I feel so cheated! $10 for a photo and 10 minute potrait sitting, they said. Cunningly on the back of the voucher for said cheapo photo were packages....................exspensive photo packages. HUH I scoffed, who would fall for that silly little marketing ploy........................................




But they had the packages already printed............................................................and what were they going to do, shred our unused likenesses? Yep suckered, I mean how many photo's of you and your fellow do you need?????..........................well there was the wedding!
The pics look a bit weird, I mean who would expect the email copies of the photo for $175!!!! So I had to take a photo of the photo

I am Detoxing

Well it is here and I started on my lemon detox diet today.

Thus far it is going well except this constant nagging about eating something, not because I am hungry because I assure you I am surprisingly not. It is just the fact I have chosen to do this detox and my bad ass alter ego wants me to fail. That whole cartoon imagery with a little me on either shoulder, one in leather thong and fishnets and the other is in a Choir outfit. That is EXACTLY how I feel. It's a little bit like I have multiple personalities because as much as I am looking forward to the challenge and really want the results the other is telling me to lick the top of the yogurt when I open it for my Children or scoff a biccie before my eyes see it.........BE GONE YOU VENOMOUS WITCH, YES, YOU! IN THE FISHNETS WITH YOUR MUFFIN SPILLING OVER THE TOP.......OF ALL PEOPLE YOU SHOULD BE IN LINE WITH THIS! NO MIRRORS IN EVIL CONSCIENCE LAND!

This morning was terrible and the only bit about the whole diet I was scared of came true with much more horrific clarity than I could have imagined. Drinking warm salty water. Honestly it would be easier drinking a big cupful of some strangers freshly wanked sperm. That is how bad it is.

It is not natural to drink warm salty water, even less natural for it to be a whole darn litre! I just could not do it. I had really convinced myself than it would not be as bad, but upon first mouthful I my eyes watered and I fought desperately not to vomit. I managed about 800mls and that was it. I tried everything, little sips, hold your nose but since the tongue just absorbs salt there is no fooling it, in the end I had to sneak up on the glass while doing bits of house work and even then I was dry retching and had to be close to the sink.

Honestly I did not think it would work but within half an hour of being in my system the floodgates opened, no pain like laxatives just WHOOOSH. The leaflet said it was "effective" and they were not wrong.

Well next test of stamina is dinner time!

Sunday, October 12, 2008




A & P Show

What a great day I had on saturday, I and some of my fellow St Johns members ran a scenario of two car crashes, Firemen cutting and ripping the tops of cars to get out blood soaked and injured patients and all to be patched and whisked off to hospital and airlifted by helicpter. What a fab time, great training as we do not have too many mulitple car accidents. Great turn out to watch, I have no idea where the crowd come from but the just appeared everything we had a scenario, great community spirit.

I unfortunately was not looking so attractive in my full protective gear, including god awful heavy helmet with visor BUT with so much glass flying about I was indeed thankful.
Thus far the garden has not been going completely smoothly, I have so far Planted Three types of potato, Swift, so we can have spudes for xmas, Maras Anchor, because I never have and Heather the most lovely flavour of all the spuddies. Then a digger ran them over!

I have also planted corn. Then the bastard cows got into the paddock a had a good ole hoe down party in said garden. Arghhhhhhhhhhh

Nevermind I shall drive out and inspect the damage tomorrow.

I also have planted seeds in my hot house made from Pegs, plastic, sting and a wire clothes horse. City lights silver beet, basil, mint, courgettes, pumpkin, six types of cherry toms and some marrigold for pest control. So far a week on the silverbeet has peeped through, one tomato and a courgette! Where are my pumpkins, I saved the seeds from this most amazing pumpkin years ago and am beginning to think that there was more too it than just planting them. SHould I have broken the outside shell? Who knows.

Rejoice, we had our first strawberry yesterday from our herb garden, cut into quarters but it was just delicious and the essential taste of summer

Hopefully we will somehow work out how to get water there this week.

Priority One, lights ans sirens please

Well although my blog appears normal but you are now reading the blog of a fully trained Ambulance driver! What no ear drum shattering applause!!

I am rapt, I was so very nervous, terrified of failiure that I did not even let you know I was going on a course. How silly of me but you all know what a swotty geek I am and this was something I could study very little for but still I was tied up in knots and cringeing at the mere thought. But I passed with flying colours and can now officially drive with lights and sirens going. Really fantastic course, my favourite bit of all was learning what ABS braking was like and how it would feel in a situation where you were going at speed and you had to stop in a heck of a hurry. What an amazing tool as I have this fear of having an accident and the brakes "lock up" although I have not a clue what this means but because it is bandied about willy nilly and usually combined with a frightful look, I gather it is not a good thing. Well this ABS braking eliminates all of that but although not so good for drifting around corners. Sadly I think I have discovered my inner car girl as I was wonderfully alive and high on life for the entirety of the braking and speed exercises, just giggling my way through it all. VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMmmmmmmmmmm